


Graffiti

by DecemberCamie



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Blood, Flirting, Guns, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Mutual Pining, Road Trips, Slow Burn, Sparring, Violence, mafia, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 02:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 54,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13157430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberCamie/pseuds/DecemberCamie
Summary: It’s been years since Killua managed to escape the clutches of his mafia family with Alluka, and since then he’s built up something close to a normal life for both of them. It hasn’t been easy, but they are alive and together, and Killua is grateful for that if nothing else.But their peace is shattered the moment Gon Freecss crashes into their lives. Gon, a gang member who is as dangerous as he is charming; Gon, who has a single-minded determination to finish the mission he came into town for; Gon, who could unravel Killua and Alluka’s secrets as easily as he smiles—Gon, who wants Killua for reasons beyond Killua’s understanding, but who might just end up destroying him anyway.





	1. Prolouge

Killua knew he shouldn’t have chosen the seat next to the teen with the absurdly bright green jacket the second he sat down.

He knew it, but he did it anyway. Why? Because Killua was weak when it came to helping people he would be better off staying away from. But this specific green jacket wearing teen looked like he was one minute away from passing out and, for whatever insane reason, Killua wanted to make sure he was okay.

Well. This kid was anything but okay.

Killua sucked in a quiet breath at the red-stained t-shirt, eyes growing large when he glimpsed smears of scarlet under short nails. The sharp tang of blood was undeniable at this proximity. Killua felt himself turn white as memories of his past rushed to the forefront of his mind, unwanted and unwelcome.

 _It would take hours to get the shirt clean,_ his brain supplied automatically. They would need bleach, and—

Killua shut down that thought as quickly as it appeared. He’d left that life a while ago and he refused to let himself think about it even in passing.

“Hey,” the teen croaked with a faint smile and Killua’s head snapped up. “Are you okay? You’re really pale.”

“I should be asking _you_ that,” Killua said with a scowl. “Have you seen the state you’re in, or are you just an idiot?”

“Eh?” The teen blinked gold-brown eyes before looking down at himself. “Oh, this? It’s fine, it's not mine…or, most of it isn’t. I think. You should’ve seen the other guy.”

Oh, because that was _so_ reassuring.

“What kind of fight ends in blood?!” Killua demanded shrilly.

He knew what kind of fight, without even hearing the teen's answer. Jeez, why was Killua even bothering to _talk_ with this weirdo? Talking led to questions and questions led to trouble, and Killua had more than enough problems in his life at the moment.

If he was smart, he would get off at the next stop and forget this whole encounter ever happened. He didn’t owe anything to this stranger with green-dyed spikes of hair and dimpled smiles and freckled cheeks—

“It was a gang fight,” the teen replied absentmindedly. He picked some of the drying blood off his fingers and ice shot down Killua’s spine.

No. No no no no _no,_ this could not be happening. Killua had only just gotten Alluka out of his family’s operations after years and years of planning and scheming and hard work. There was absolutely no way he was going to throw them back into that shit show now.

But then the teen lifted the bottom of his t-shirt to reveal a large, gruesome gash just above his hip bone.

“Ah. So that’s where all the blood is coming from.”

Killua bit down on his bottom to keep himself from hissing out of pure, irritating, beyond exasperating, frustration.This teen was bleeding to death and he didn’t even care! 

 _Dammit,_ Killua cursed inwardly. He couldn’t just do nothing now.

Gritting his teeth, Killua yanked out his cell phone. He muttered darkly under his breath as he typed in a number he knew by heart and held the device up to his ear.

This idiot was so lucky Killua had the connections as an ex-heir to a mafia boss to save his life.

“Hey, Leorio, it’s me,” he said shortly the moment the phone was picked up. “Listen, I’m cashing in that favor you owe me. Be ready with all of your medical shit in ten minutes; I’m bringing someone in.”

 

**-o0o-**

 

_ONE YEAR LATER…_

Killua’s sneakers slammed against the pavement as he sprinted down the sidewalk. He’d totally lost track of time finishing up that essay. He didn’t even realize how late it was until his alarm went off—

But he wasn’t as late as he’d thought, apparently. Crowds of high schoolers were still pouring out of the front entrance by the time Alluka’s school came into view and Killua slowed to a jog before finally stopping. His chest heaved as he scanned the tired, sweaty faces for the familiar pink headband and bright blue eyes.

_There._

Killua’s lips automatically curved up into a smile upon catching sight of his sister. Alluka was standing a little off to the side today, her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail and her school jacket tied around her waist. She brightened the moment they made eye contact and threw her hand up in a wave.

Warmth bubbled to life inside of Killua’s chest. Seeing Alluka was always a joy. Killua loved her more than he loved himself, more than he loved anything or anyone on Earth. She was the reason he’d found the strength to run away from their family in the first place.

But that warmth froze over the moment he spotted a freckled teen with green-tipped spikes standing next to his sister. The teen was wearing that same horribly familiar grin that he had nearly a year ago when Killua first met him, and the sight of it made Killua’s heart plummet to the ground.

Killua let out a low breath and muttered, “Shit.”

He wasn’t going to turn in his paper on time.


	2. A Dangerous Gamble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The problem with life, Killua always figured, was that it sometimes had a horribly annoying way of coming back and biting you in the ass for things you thought you shoved under the rug years ago, but apparently didn’t shove hard enough.
> 
> “What are you gonna order, Killua?”
> 
> And right now just happened to be one of those times.

The problem with life, Killua always figured, was that it sometimes had a horribly annoying way of coming back and biting you in the ass for things you thought you shoved under the rug years ago, but apparently didn’t shove hard enough.

“What are you gonna order, Killua?”

And right now just happened to be one of those times.

Killua clenched his jaw and said through gritted teeth, “Nothing.”

Round, golden eyes widened in horror. “What? Why not?”

“Not hungry,” Killua said shortly.

“But—but it’s nearly dinner time! And Alluka told me that you always wait for her to get home before you start cooking, so you _have_ to be hungr—”

“Hey!” Killua snapped and the freckled teen sitting across from him blinked. “If you mention Alluka _one more time,_ I’m going to slam your head into the table!”

Killua’s dinner partner wrinkled his nose. He didn’t look at all disturbed as he said, “Wouldn’t that make a scene? And there’d be blood on the table, depending on how hard you’d hit me. They might make you clean it up. Would you really want to do that?”

Killua’s mouth fell open. He gawked at the person sitting across the table—because of all the reactions he expected, _that_ was probably last on the list—but the other just smiled pleasantly. It was painfully obvious that Killua’s threats had zero affect on him.

Killua closed his gaping mouth, eyes narrowing into slits. “You—”

“Gon!”

Killua’s head was pounding now. _“What?”_ he asked, exasperated.

“Gon,” the other teen insisted again with a radiant grin. “My name is Gon, Ki-llu-a! I told you that earlier at your sister’s school, but you haven’t used my name yet...so I figured maybe you need a reminder?”

Irritation washed over Killua, the feeling akin to being pricked by a thousand tiny needles over and over and over again.

“What,” he said in a low hiss. “Did I _just_ say about mentioning Allu—”

“Hi, may I take your order!”

Killua started at the unexpected voice, caught off guard despite the fact that he shouldn’t be, not with the kind of background he had—

But Gon—green haired little gremlin that he was—had a bizarre way of fishing for Killua’s focus and reeling it in. Gon’s presence was the kind that demanded attention, both on the train last year, and now, sitting across from Killua in this diner. His smile drew Killua’s gaze like a magnet and his gold eyes held it there effortlessly, leaving Killua strangely vulnerable and unable to escape.

And Killua hated it.

Killua slumped back in his seat while Gon began to chat excitedly with the waiter. He glowered at the other teen as Gon told her politely, “We’ll take the triple deluxe chocolate cake with chocolate syrup dribbled on top!“

_BANG!_

Killua slammed his hand on the table and the waitress jerked, her notepad almost dropping from her fingers. Gon barely reacted at all; he just swiveled his head around to frown at Killua, a question in the tilt of his head.

“No,” Killua insisted. “We will not be getting the cake!”

“I’m paying,” Gon said to the flustered waitress who was looking between them with confusion, “—so we _are_ getting the cake. Thank you!”

The waitress skittered away, crumpled order in hand, and Killua dropped his head onto the diner’s table with a loud groan. He was so screwed. What had he been thinking coming here with Gon?

“Aw, Killua, there’s no need to get so upset!”

 _“Shut up.”_ Killua slapped away the hand that gently brushed against his hair. _Gon’s hand,_ he noted with prickling frustration. “Stop trying to cheer me up! I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, no matter how much you stalked me on the internet!”

Gon laughed like Killua had just told the funniest joke known to mankind. “I didn’t stalk you, Killua! That would be creepy.”

“Oh, really?” Killua found that extremely hard to believe. “Then how come I found you talking to Alluka when I came to pick her up after school, huh? How did you even know I had a sister, or where she would be?”

“Leorio told me about you and Alluka last year while he was stitching me up.” Gon leaned forward on the table and cupped his chin with one hand. His gold gaze stayed locked onto Killua’s face. “You barely talked to me after I said I was part of a gang, so I had to get creative.”

God dammit.

Killua’s hands curled into fists. He didn’t like the strangely fixated way Gon was staring at him; he almost looked like he wanted to devour _Killua_ instead of the sure-to-be-delicious cake he’d forcibly ordered for them to share.

Why, though? It had been at least a year since Killua sat down next to him on that train. And Killua had only brought Gon to Leorio because he was, for once, being a good person. He didn’t remember any of this intensity Gon was showing now, so what the hell had happened since then? What was different?

Killua didn’t understand it. At all. He couldn’t afford to find out the truth, though. If Gon discovered that Killua and Alluka were Zoldycks, if he ran his mouth and told anyone else…he and Alluka would be as good as dead by the next morning.

Being with Gon was dangerous. Agreeing to get dinner with Gon as long as he promised to leave Alluka alone was a dangerous gamble in and of itself. But what else could Killua do? He refused lose another person he loved; protecting Alluka was his top priority, and always would be. He would just have to indulge this dangerous person for tonight, and that would be the end of it.

He didn’t care how interested Gon was in him. Killua would sooner stab his eyes with these cheap dinner forks than make small talk with this green-haired weirdo ever again.

“I wasn’t going to do anything to her, you know,” Gon said, pulling Killua out of his inner monologue.

“Do I, though?” Killua asked sourly.

Gon bobbed his head. “Mhm! Alluka’s really nice and I’m glad I met her—”

 _“Stalked her,_ you mean!”

“—‘cause she’s important to you,” Gon continued good-naturedly even as Killua turned rigid as stone. “But I was really just waiting for you to show up. You’re the one I’m really interested in, Killua.”

“I can’t believe this.” Killua looked away with a scowl.

He hated this. He hated this whole situation and how his cheeks were on fire and Gon’s dumb, idiotic face, but most of all, Killua hated himself. Because as much as he despised Gon and everything he stood for—

Killua hated the fact that a tiny, minuscule part of him was curious about Gon, too.

"You don’t have to believe it for it to be true!”

Killua’s eyes flickered back to Gon’s face. The other teen was beaming at him, sunlight streaming in from the window hitting his skin at the perfect angle to set his bronze skin glow.

Killua’s heart stuttered. Holy shit, how was any of this _fair?_

“Your logic doesn’t make any sense,” Killua growled and Gon giggled quietly. “Why are you even here in Masadora anyway? We’re right next to the capital, don’t tell me you don’t know what that means for people like you.”

“People like me?”

“Criminals. Murderers. Thieves,” Killua listed them off. He wasn’t much better than the people on this list, but it wasn’t like he was about to tell _Gon_ that. “Take your pick. They have no tolerance for that kind of stuff around here.”

Gon hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I’m not a criminal. Not exactly. So I think I’ll be okay as long as I keep a low profile.”

“What if I turn you in?” Killua challenged and Gon actually had the gall to pout.

“That would be mean, Killua! Especially since I’m paying for your dinner and everything.”

“It is not dinner!” Killua seethed. Gon didn’t seem to care about or notice Killua's bristling tone. He just kept on gleefully watching Killua with that same annoyingly bright smile plastered across his face.

Gon leaned closer to Killua, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Maybe not. You can’t really have chocolate for dinner.”

Killua glared. “What does that mean?”

“Chocolate isn’t healthy for you,” Gon said and waved a finger in Killua’s face. Killua slapped his hand away—hard enough for it to sting—but Gon simply laughed, dropping his hand onto the table.

Just a few centimeters away from Killua’s.

Killua fought down the urge to yank his hand off the table’s too-shiny surface. He didn’t know what kind of game Gon was playing at, but there was no way he was going to back down. He refused to give Gon any false ideas that his presence somehow affected Killua.

Because Gon didn’t affect Killua. At all.

“If you really think that,” Killua said as he kept a careful watch on Gon’s broad fingers. “Why would you order the cake?”

There was a pause. Killua glanced upwards at the abrupt silence and was just in time to see Gon’s smile turn into something softer, more gentle. He was gazing at Killua with an emotion that Killua couldn't name, or even try to recognize. But it did cause a strange twisting sensation somewhere deep in Killua’s chest, right where his heart was located.

Gon confessed, “I ordered the cake because _you_ liked it. I saw you sneaking glances at it on the menu’s cover while we were waiting for the waitress to take our order. And I want you to be as comfortable as possible.”

Totally caught off guard, Killua stammered out, “W-Why?”

“Because! This is our first date, and Aunt Mito always said—”

 _“What?”_ Killua’s face burst into flames. “You—who decided this was a date?!”

Gon cocked his head to the side. “Who decided it _wasn’t_ a date?”

Killua pressed his lips into a thin line as a surge of irritation flared inside him. He said through clenched teeth, “Don’t turn my question around on me, Gon. The only reason I’m here is because you swore to leave Alluka alone if I came here with you. That does not in _any way_ qualify this as a romantic proposition, okay?! This is an obligation at best.”

“Killua,” Gon said, looking like he was trying his best not to smile and utterly failing. “We’re at a restaurant. I just ordered a chocolate cake for the two of us to _share_. I’m paying for the whole thing and asking about your life and trying to get to know you better, even if you are being kind of difficult about it right now. And when you put that all together...that kind of makes this a date.”

“‘Kind of’ and ‘actually’ are two very different things,” Killua retorted, even as something light and swooping fluttered in his stomach at Gon’s bold words. Killua stamped down the feeling with a viciousness that would’ve made his parents proud. “You can’t just automatically qualify this as a date because you assume it is one!”

Killua couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe he was arguing with a gang member about _dates_ and _romantic indications_. There was no possible way Gon was interested in—

“Hmm. I guess you’re right—”

Killua huffed. “I am.”

“—‘cause I can’t call it a proper date since we haven’t kissed yet.”

Heat rushed to every corner of his body and Killua sputtered, heart lurching. He could tell the expression on his face was probably funnier than he would care to admit by the way Gon burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Killua watched the other collapse onto the table, caught between shock, anger, and an overwhelming mortification. Knowing that his burning cheeks were probably a horrible shade of scarlet didn’t make the situation any better.

“Why—” Killua chucked his napkin at Gon’s head, “—are you laughing?! It’s not that funny, stupid!”

“It is, though!” Gon gasped. “You’re so funny, Killua! Your reaction was _priceless—”_

Killua sputtered. He didn’t know how to react to that; no one had ever managed to get him this flustered before. No one had been allowed to even talk to him back home, and here he and Alluka mostly kept to themselves. It was just better to avoid the unnecessary attention, but now...

He was only now realizing just how unprepared he was to deal with Gon and all of his compliments.

_Ding!_

Killua jolted. That sound—it was his phone.

Ignoring the last of Gon’s gasps of laughter, Killua tugged his cell out of his jean pocket and turned it over onto it’s side. He pushed down the power button and immediately a message from Alluka flashed across the screen:

_Help._

Ice shot down Killua’s spine.

He didn’t have time to process the four-letter word before Alluka’s message disappeared and Killua’s phone started to buzz with an incoming call.

“I have to take this,” he said aloud. He was out of the booth before Gon could stop him, pressing the green circle as he went. He lifted the phone up to his ear as he pushed through the diner’s door.

“Where are you?” he demanded.

“Home.” Her voice was soft, quiet and calm. The exact way he’d taught her to behave in emergencies. “I’m in the apartment by the front window looking down at the street.”

Killua’s throat tightened. Why was she looking outside? “What’s going on?”

“There are two men standing opposite our building. They were there when I got back from school, so I went in the back way just to be safe.”

Killua nodded. Okay. That was good thinking on Alluka’s part. “They’re still there, I’m guessing?”

“Yeah. They’re not moving, Brother. They’re just—they keep staring at the apartment windows. It’s like they’re waiting for something.”

Killua’s blood ran cold. Dread settled in his stomach, heavy and nauseating.

“What do you think they’re waiting for?” he asked even though he had a feeling he already knew. He reached the end of the parking lot, turned on his heel and began to pace across the black pavement again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the diner door open but he didn’t bother looking to see who it was.

Alluka let out a short breath. “I’m not sure. It could be anything. But the fact that they’re outside _our_ apartment is just—”

“Weird, yeah.” Killua’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the phone in a vice-like grasp. “I know.”

“What should I do? I don’t want to wait until they decide to come inside.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Someone was making their way over to Killua. He glanced at the person and his heart dropped when he recognized Gon. The teen’s dark brows were furrowed in determination; he looked like he had something he wanted to say and wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

Holy _fuck,_ Killua was so not ready to deal with this crap.

“I think I have a plan, but I—”

“Killua!” Gon burst out as he finally reached Killua’s side. “Why did you—”

 _“Shhh!”_ Killua hissed venomously. Gon froze in place at Killua’s tone, his entire body stiffening. His eyes flickered to the phone in Killua’s hands and his expression immediately shifted into one of confusion and wariness.

“Brother? Are you okay?”

Killua turned his attention back to his sister. “Yeah, I’m fine. Keep going. You were talking about a plan?”

“Mhm. I was thinking—”

Alluka inhaled sharply. Killua straightened. A horrible, heart-crushing fear rushed through his veins and his mouth was suddenly dry as cotton.

“Alluka?” he said loudly. “Alluka, talk to me, what’s wrong?”

There was a pause. Then she whispered, “Brother, they’re—they’re heading towards the front door.”

_Fuck._

“I’m coming right now, don’t move,” he ordered and she made a low sound of agreement. “You know what to do if they get inside.”

He hung up, hand already flying to his pockets. Keys, keys, keys, where was his—

Killua stopped. Shit. He didn’t have keys. He had sprinted to Alluka’s school straight from the apartment and afterwards…

“Killua?”

Killua whirled around. Gon was still standing a few steps away. He watched Killua with obvious hesitation, golden gaze sweeping over Killua questioningly even as he kept his distance.

Blood roared in Killua’s ears. He didn’t have a lot of options, that much was clear. But he still had to be careful. Choosing wrong could land Alluka in a coffin.

“I need your help,” Killua said and Gon frowned.

“What do you mean? What happen—”

“Alluka is in trouble!” Killua snapped impatiently. “She’s at our apartment and these two creeps have been standing outside watching our place all afternoon. And soon they’re soon going to be _in_ side if I don’t move fast.”

Gon’s confused expression cleared. “You want me to drive you back home,” he concluded.

“Yes.”

“But, Killua, even if we leave now, we won’t make it in time. You and Alluka live on the other side of town, don’t you?”

Killua just barely held back the urge to pull his hair out. Gon was right, but that _didn’t matter_. Time was running short regardless of what he did!

“Gon,” he said through his teeth. “I _need_ to get to Alluka. If you’re not willing to help me, then—!”

“Killua.” Gon stepped right up to Killua’s chest and Killua tensed, hating himself for the way his heart started to beat faster at the sudden proximity. “I know you want to save Alluka, and we will. But I have a way better idea of saving her than just rushing blindly to your home.”

Killua’s nails dug into his palms. “Then you better spit it out before I punch your lights out and steal your motorcycle to do just that.”

Gon wasn’t even remotely phased by Killua’s threat. He suggested, “Let me send my friends to your apartment. They can get there faster then we can and protect your sister until we arrive!”

Killua inwardly cursed. Gon was the last person in the world he would ever trust; how could he possibly trust Gon’s so-called ‘people’ to do what he said they would?!

 _Doesn’t matter,_ a voice inside Killua’s head chimed. Alluka mattered. And even though she knew what to do to stay safe, he refused leave anything to chance.

“Okay,” Killua relented and a grin broke across Gon’s face. “Do it. Call your people or gang members or whatever. Tell them to get to Alluka no matter what.”

Gon studied Killua. That weird, intense look from earlier was back in his eyes again and Killua tensed as Gon lifted a hand. What was he—?

Gon’s fingers lightly swept Killua’s bangs off his forehead. He moved his hand to the right and Killua fought back a flinch as Gon tucked a stray silver lock neatly behind Killua’s ear.

“And what do I get in return?” Gon asked quietly, curiously.

Killua’s stomach flipped and he balled his hands into fists.

“You get nothing,” Killua growled and roughly shoved Gon’s arm away. “I saved your life last year; _you’re_ the one who owes _me.”_

Gon blinked. Then he threw back his head and laughed for what felt like the millionth time that afternoon.

“You’re right,” he said, flashing Killua a radiant smile. As Killua watched, Gon pulled out his own phone and tapped the screen a few times. Relief washed over Killua like a wave, though the prickling worriness over Alluka still tugged at his mind.

Had he really made the right decision to ask for Gon's help?

Gon looked up from his phone, chirping, “Okay, they’re heading over now! We should get going too—” He grabbed Killua’s wrist and pulled him towards a shiny motorcycle off in the parking lot corner. Killua yelped at the abrupt treatment but Gon was already saying in that all-too-bright tone of his:

“—after all, those guys won’t kick their asses themselves!”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Graffiti! :D I've been working on this for for over a year; it's based on two drabbles (both of which are in the prologue and in this chapter) and now it's a full length fic! I'm going to post all the chapters on here and on my tumblr and that's about it! All questions about Gon and Killua and their different pasts will be explored throughout this fic, I hope you stick around to discover them all ^^
> 
> As far as the updating schedule goes..........I'm not sure how often I'll be updating, but I believe it'll be once every two or three weeks? I'm in grad school and studying for the cpa so I got a lot on my plate right now but I will update this fic as often as possible! 
> 
> And finally, a lot of different pple looked at this fic before it got to this point. But I wanna thank three people on tumblr specifically who shaped this fic: softkillua (my beta), godspeedcomplex (another beta) and sketchxhunter WHO DREW THE CHAPTER ART FOR THIS FIC!!!!! They're all amazing I don't know what I would do without them <3
> 
> [[My tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)


	3. Inching Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I won’t repeat myself again, Gon; _back off._ Even if you are a guest—which you _aren’t_ —I need the room to—”
> 
> Gon cut him off swiftly, “To pack? That’s what you’re doing with the suitcase, right?”
> 
> “None of your business,” Killua replied coolly.
> 
> “Whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work.”

Killua didn’t wait for Gon to come to a full stop before he was leaping off the motorcycle and landing hard on solid cement. The impact sent a sharp jolt up his legs but the pain did nothing to stop him from racing up the front steps at lightning speed. He jammed the door key into the lock, throwing himself inside with a gasp.

And then he stopped short.

The parlor in front of him was empty, nothing out of place or amiss, but that meant nothing. Chest heaving, Killua listened for a shout or any sign of a struggle—anything to tell him whether or not Alluka was hurt, that Gon hadn’t followed through with his promise.

But there was nothing. The only sounds were his own panting and the heavy thuds of his heartbeat in his ears. Was the silence a good thing, or bad?

Killua swallowed down the metal taste in his mouth. Hesitantly, he called out, “Alluka?”

A pause. Somewhere behind him, Killua heard the roar of Gon’s motorcycle engine cut off. The seconds slowly ticked by, and yet there was still no greeting from the little sister he adored.

 _Shit._ Killua gnawed on his bottom lip. _Where was she?!_

He said a little louder, with a little more desperation, “Allu—”

_BANG!_

Killua’s eyes shot upwards to the second floor of their apartment, heart jumping into his throat. Thunderous footsteps echoed from the hallway above his head and reverberated through the ceiling, and then Alluka was flying down the stairs in a whirlwind of pastel skirts and billowing brown hair.

“Brother!”

Alluka crashed into Killua at full speed, knocking the air right out of his lungs. The force was enough to send the pair stumbling backwards a few steps but Killua managed to steady himself just before they could tumble to the floor.

“Alluka,” Killua said, breathless. The relief that coursed through his veins was so intense it made his legs weak. He nuzzled his face into her choppy locks, inhaling the fruity scent of her shampoo and absorbing the warmth of her arms around his waist.

It was only then that he allowed himself to acknowledge just how absolutely petrified he’d been of losing his baby sister. They’d made plans for this kind of thing—how could they not with their parents on the lookout for them? But they’d never had to put any of those plans into action until today.

Killua held Alluka tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. They had both already lost so much. They couldn’t lose each other, too.

“I’m okay,” Alluka said quietly. Her words were firm, reassuring, but the slight quiver of her voice betrayed her true feelings.

“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t scary,” Killua murmured and felt Alluka’s arms tremble from the strength of her grip on his back. He ran his fingers through her hair in a vain attempt calm her down before confessing lowly, _“I_ was really scared, Alluka.”

She buried her face into the crook of his shoulder. “Me too. But it’s okay, now. I’m safe and they’re gone.”

Killua forced himself to pull back. He stared into Alluka’s too-bright eyes as he asked, “Did Gon’s people come to help you?”

Alluka nodded. Her face was still paper-white, and the knot his his stomach twisted.

He hated seeing Alluka so terrified. He should’ve done better as her big brother to help her, he should’ve been here with her instead of—

“Alluka! You’re okay!”

The siblings twisted around, still clinging to each other like their lives depended on it. Gon was bouncing up the stairs with his usual sunny beam in place.

“I’m so glad!” Gon babbled as he rushed towards them. Killua’s arms loosened from around Alluka’s shoulders and he tried to gently but firmly pull his sister away from the gang member drawing near.

Gon wasn’t having any of that, though.

To Killua’s shock, Gon easily tugged Alluka right out of Killua’s grasp and engulfed her in an overly affectionate hug.

“Killua was really worried when he got that phone call from you,” Gon sighed while Killua openly gaped. He could barely see Alluka’s head under Gon’s chin— “But I told him it would be fine! You’re not hurt at all, right?”

“I’m fine,” she answered and the sound came out muffled. She patted his arm awkwardly as she said, “Thank you, Gon. I don’t know what would’ve happened if your friends hadn’t come.”

“Anything for you and Killua!”

Killua didn’t bother fighting the scowl that formed on his face. There Gon went again, acting like they had some sort of connection despite the fact that it couldn’t be further from the truth.

His pricking irritation evaporated the instant Gon stepped away from Alluka, however. Gon carefully looked her up and down, making sure to keep her at arm’s length all the while.

Killua blinked, eyes growing large. Was Gon…checking Alluka for injuries?

“Yup, you’re good!” Gon nodded, confirming Killua’s suspicions. “Not a single hair hurt on your pretty head.”

He patted the top of her hair and Killua felt his expression soften as Alluka giggled. He couldn’t help but melt around Alluka; if she was safe and happy, so was he.

And seeing that Gon made the effort to check Alluka was okay even after sending help was...oddly touching. The act was thoughtful in a way Killua wouldn’t have ever thought to associate with someone in charge of a gang.

“Hey,” Killua said at the thought and two heads swiveled to face him. “Where are your friends, Gon? I want to hear what those creeps looked like.”

“Oh, yeah! Good idea!”

“Everyone is upstairs,” Alluka cut in quickly. “We were waiting in my bedroom for you to return.”

“Was there fighting?” Gon asked. “Did anyone else get hurt?”

“No. By the time those guys forced themselves inside, your friends were arriving. So they ran away. Nothing else happened.”

As Alluka finished, she glanced at Killua. The hairs on the back of Killua’s neck rose at the secret warning shining from his sister’s bright blue gaze.

There was something Alluka wasn’t telling them. Something she didn’t want _Gon_ _specifically_ to know about.

“That’s good,” Gon sighed, completely oblivious to the silent communication between the Zoldyck siblings. “But I still want to talk with my friends about it anyway.”

“Same,” Killua added hastily. “Maybe we can report this to the police if there’s enough details.” Which would never happen—if a single trace of Killua or Alluka showed up in crime reports, regardless of false names or appearances, Milluki would find them. And Killua couldn’t risk that.

Again Gon failed to notice Killua’s lie. He simply said with a bob of his head, “Yeah, that’s a good idea! Let’s see what everyone else says first, though, before we do anything too drastic. Which room is yours, Alluka?”

“The last one down the hall,” she said and pointed towards the second floor. Gon bounded up the stairs without waiting another second.

A weight lifted off Killua’s shoulders as he watched Gon vanish from sight. But the feeling was coupled with a strange sense of loss—like grains of sand slipping through his fingers or missing a step on the stairs. It was weirdly disturbing; Killua wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Something tugged on his sleeve, pulling him back to reality, and Killua let out a long breath.

“Alluka,” he said lowly and his sleeve twisted in her grasp. “What was that look back there for?”

Alluka bit her bottom lip, averting her gaze. Anxiety started to claw its way up Killua’s throat. _“Alluka,_ what—”

He cut himself off with a choking gasp when Alluka flung her arms around him. She squeezed him hard, her grip so tight he could hardly breathe.

“Go into your bedroom,” she whispered directly into his ear and he turned to stone in her embrace. “Something is in there that you need to see.”

She pulled away before he could get in a single word. She beamed at him, showing no sign of the daunting message she had just given him. Killua simply stared at her, his brain starting to kick into overdrive.

In his bedroom? What could possibility be in there for her to-

“Hey!” Gon’s head popped out from the top of the stairs. “Are you guys coming?”

“Yep!” Alluka chirped—a mask of cheerfulness that only Killua could recognize—and forcibly yanked Killua towards the stairs. “C'mon, Brother, I want to introduce you to everyone!”

Killua’s suspicions proved to be right; Gon’s friends were anything but ordinary. In fact, Gon himself was the most normal-looking one of them all. The other members of Gon’s gang were a mix of different shapes and sizes: one looked kind of like an actual bear, another had the huge glasses and two extremely large buck teeth, a third styled his age in a huge afro larger than any Killua had ever seen before or probably would ever see again. It was all pretty bizarre, as far as gangs went, but…

The group had an air about them that suggested they were more than they seemed. They were extremely alert, almost so much so that reminded Killua of his old bodyguards, and even the way the held themselves was tense like they could spring into action at a moment’s notice. They watched Killua like hawks and he had to fight down the urge to squirm.

The whole experience was just...weird. _Definitely_ more than a little disturbing. Killua knew he wanted to get Alluka as far from Gon’s group of friends as possible before they even had the chance to tell him their names.

And the beyond creepiest part was how one of Gon’s friends—a girl loudly chewing gum with magenta dyed hair—kept scowling at him like he was an ant she wanted to squish under her shoe.

 _What the hell?_ Killua thought, narrowing his eyes at her while Gon prattled off names and random anecdotes he wasn’t going to bother remembering. The girl returned his stare with a challenging glare of her own. Killua was impressed by her refusal to back down, if nothing else. But that didn’t make him any less pissed.

“—and everyone, this is Killua!” Gon finished and clapped his hands on Killua’s shoulders. Killua twitched at the touch but otherwise didn’t move. He couldn’t shove Gon off him despite how badly he wanted to, not with his weird circus posse around.

Alluka nudged him in the ribs and Killua hissed, _“Ow,_  Alluka, what—”

She jerked her head, eyes flashing dangerously. Killua sighed heavily and turned to face the group.

“Uh, hi,” he said lamely. He could still feel that girl’s stare digging into his skull and it was starting to drive him _crazy—_  “I’m Killua, like Gon said. Thanks for saving my sister.”

The rest group smiled back at him. Killua was pleasantly surprised to find not a single sign of irritation or sneer at his awkwardness.

The large man with the face like a bear was the first to speak. He spoke in a booming, deep kind of voice, “You have a very kind and loving sister. We were more than happy to help.”

Magenta-hair girl snorted. Killua’s head snapped around, rage boiling under his skin.

 _“What_ is your problem?!” he snapped and the girl rolled her eyes.

“You, clearly.” She finally looked away from Killua, choosing to shift her palpable anger towards Gon instead. “We shouldn’t be here, Gon! Why are we playing house with these two strangers instead of doing the thing we came here for?!”

Interest prodded at Killua despite himself. What was going on here? He opened his mouth but Gon’s grip tightened on his shoulders in warning. Killua held back a wince at the painful way Gon’s fingers dug into his skin.

“That’s enough, Spinner,” Gon ordered, more serious than Killua had ever heard him. “Helping Killua and Alluka a little bit won’t change anything. You know that.”

“Then why—” she growled, rising to her feet, “—was the first thing you did after getting here seeking _him_ out.”

She jerked her head at Killua. Killua’s curiosity grew even stronger—apparently Gon’s friend was upset because of Gon’s interest in _him._ What exactly had Gon come to Masadora for?

The girl continued loudly, “He’s nothing but a distraction, Gon! And not one we need right now. I don’t care if you think he can—”

“I said—” Gon’s hands slid off Killua’s shoulders and he took a single step forward, completely blocking Killua from the girl’s line of sight, _“—enough.”_

Chills skittered down Killua’s spine. The atmosphere in the room changed like the flip of a switch, darkening and freezing over. The afternoon sunlight pouring in from the window was anything but warm now and the tension in the air hung thick, impenetrable. Hostility radiated off Gon in waves and for the first time, pinpricks of fear stabbed at Killua’s heart.

Thank god it wasn’t _him_ Gon was angry at.

A few tense seconds passed as no one moved. Finally, what seemed like an age, the girl huffed and stormed through the open door. She roughly caught Killua’s shoulder on the way out and Killua whipped around, snapping after her, “Hey! Watch it!”

There was a heavy sigh. Killua twisted around to see Gon’s tense expression; the fury had disappeared, leaving no trace that his anger had ever occurred in the first place.

“I’m so sorry about her,” he apologized with a grimace. “We’re all a little high strung right now.”

Killua scowled. “Yeah, well that makes two of us; someone tried to kidnap my sister.” He glanced at the other gang members, eyes hard. “And the rest of you? Do you all feel the same way?”

“Killua, don’t be like that—”

“Don’t—” Killua snarled and jerked away from the freckled teen, _“—touch_ me, how many times do I have to tell you before you leave me the hell alone?!”

He twisted around and stomped out the room. He completely ignored Gon crying out his name, instead moving quickly down the hallway to the door just before Alluka’s.

Killua really wasn’t mad; in actuality, he was on that girl’s side more than he was with Gon. Gon really shouldn’t be spending time with Killua, especially since Killua didn’t want him around in the first place! Even more important than that, his presence had shattered the peaceful life Killua and Alluka had worked so hard to build; Killua wasn’t so naive to think that the two strangers from this afternoon were totally unconnected to the gang that had just strolled into town.

 _And it seemed Gon’s friends weren’t all too thrilled to be here either,_ Killua thought as he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open. They had a goal in mind if that girl’s words were to be trusted. But what exactly had they came here to do, and what was Gon’s reason for talking to Killua?

“Doesn’t matter,” Killua muttered to himself because _it didn’t._ He had to focus on the task at hand—

On just what Alluka wanted Killua to find in his bedroom.

Killua took a step into his shadow-cast room, eyes quickly scanning the small area for anything amiss. His blue sheets still laid in a chaotic mess at the end of his bed, his pajamas were right where he had carelessly tossed them earlier that day. Everything seemed normal enough from here. But what about further inside?

Slowly, Killua walked around his room. His walls were bare and grey; no decorations or posters except for a few photos of him and Alluka he’d printed off his phone and taped to the wall. On his dresser was a star yo-yo Leorio had given him last Christmas and a stack of notebooks filled with scribbled notes from his online classes. Killua passed the dresser and lightly ran his fingertips over the skateboard leaning against it before turning around with a huff.

He didn’t see a single thing out of place. But Alluka wouldn’t have acted so weird if she didn’t—

And that was when he saw it.

Ice skittered down Killua’s spine at the sight of broken glass. He inched closer, careful not to step on any shards littering the carpet. The hole in the Killua’s single window was small, not much larger than a coin. There was no blood or cloth clinging to the jagged edges, nor any indication of what exactly could have made the hole in the first place.

Killua frowned. The hole was definitely too small for an animal or human. Even most bugs would have a hard time getting through an opening of that size. Something must have been projected out of this room—or _into_ it.

Squinting, Killua followed the line from the hole. Surprise jolted through him as his eyes landed on his pillow, where something nearly invisible but shiny winked back at him.

Killua stopped breathing.

He didn’t know how he willed his legs to move; one moment he was at the window, the next he was at his bedside. He watched numbly as his fingers grasped the small needle implanted into the cloth and lifted it to his face. The needle’s golden metal tip shone in the dim light, like the thing was trying to tell him _'hello, I’ve been waiting for you'._

There was a note attached. Killua unrolled the curled paper and read in impossibly perfect cursive:

_‘Found you, little brother.’_

“Illumi,” he whispered to himself, heart clenching painfully.

That—that complete and utter _bastard_. Killua crushed the note in his shaking fist, grinding his teeth together. Had Illumi been the one to send those guys? Were they a distraction so that this needle could be sent, or were they ordered to kidnap him and Alluka? There was no way to tell. The only thing Killua could conclude from the message was the obvious warning there:

That Killua and Alluka were in danger as long as they stayed here. They had to move, get as far away from here as soon as possible—now, even.

But there was still rent for the remainder of this month to pay off…he could probably figure out a way to send the money through the mail, right? And he had to worry about Alluka, who had just finally caught up on classes and made friends. She wasn’t going to be happy about this, Killua knew, but it wasn’t as if they had a choice here—

“Your room’s really empty, huh?”

Killua didn’t react at all Gon’s abrupt appearance; he’d seen the sunlight subtly shift across his wall, heard the almost non-existent creak of pressure on the wooden doorframe. It would’ve been embarrassing not to have known someone was coming up behind him with the kind of training he had.

“Depends on what you’d call empty,” Killua said aloud as he curled his fingers around Illumi’s needle. The metal was ice cold and his palm stung where the tip dug into his skin. It hurt, but Killua would rather shove the thing into his head than have Gon see it and start asking questions.

“You barely have any decorations up, Killua,” Gon’s voice floated through the air. “I think my backpack has more stuff in it than you do in here.”

Killua looked over his shoulder. Gon was hovering at the doorframe, a playful smile gracing his lips.

“Did you just come in here just to insult my choice of decor?” Killua asked with a scowl. “Or do you actually have a reason for chasing after me again?”

Gon rubbed the back of his neck and peaked at Killua sheepishly. “Eh, well. You seemed really upset so I…I just wanted to say sorry again. For Spinner.”

“Oh.” Killua had already forgotten all about that with the presence of Illumi’s _gift._ “It’s fine, don’t worry.”

Speaking of Illumi. Killua had to start planning—

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm,” Killua said distractedly and strode towards his closet without casting Gon another glance. He opened the door and his eyes flitted upwards. It should be...oh, there it was.

Gon called out to him, “But you seemed really mad about it back there!”

“Yeah, well—” Killua grunted, teetering as he yanked his suitcase off the highest shelf, “—she wasn’t exactly the kindest person I’ve ever met. How else was I supposed to react?”

“Mm, true. I still needed to give you a proper apology, though.”

The suitcase dropped to the floor with a loud _THUD._ Killua straightened, breathless. “You—” he panted. “Just did. Apology accepted.”

Killua could feel Gon’s golden eyes following him as he tugged the suitcase over onto his bed. “Hm,” came the sound of Gon’s skeptical hum. “If you say so.”

“I _did_ say so.”

“And you don’t have any questions about that whole conversation?”

Killua pulled the suitcase onto his bed ungraciously, then leveled a tight smile at Gon. “Nope,” he lied smoothly.

“None at all?” Gon pressed with step forward.

“None.”

“You’re not even a _tiny_ bit curious about what she was talking about?”

“Couldn’t care less.”

Gon clicked his tongue. “You’re lying, Killua.”

“You keep thinking that,” he retorted, keeping the surprise off his face. How could Gon tell that? It wasn’t like they knew each other that well.

Gon shook his head, clearly bemused at Killua’s unwillingness to grab the bait. But he didn’t argue again, to Killua’s mild confusion. Instead he drifted towards Killua’s dresser and peered at the few pictures taped to the wall above it.

If Gon was going to give Killua the silent treatment, that was fine with him. Killua turned his back on the other teen and started to pull out the draws in his nightstand. He already knew what to pack—what was necessary and what wasn’t. He’d kept the mental list memorized for years.

He shoved socks and underwear in first. Leorio probably had extra but Killua knew from experience that he could never be too prepared. He should probably text Leorio, actually, and warn him about what was going on—

“Is this you and Alluka?”

Killua craned his neck to see Gon pointing at a picture on the wall. A smaller Killua grinned cheekily at the camera, chin resting on top an even smaller head. The girl in Killua’s arms had her eyes closed and a wide, almost gaping kind of smile. Her chubby hands were held out, palms up, and her brown locks were tousled from the frozen breeze.

A stab of pain shot through Killua’s heart. A horrible ache rose inside him, crushing the air out of his lungs, and he forced himself to look away.

“It’s me and my sister, yeah,” he managed to choke out. He shoved a hoodie into the suitcase with a little more force than was probably necessary, eyes stinging.

Killua heard Gon hum. “You guys were really young here, huh?

"Mhm.”

“You two are really cute, you know.”

Killua stopped, head snapping up to glare at Gon. If this was some kind of stupid joke, Killua was going to—

But Gon was simply smiling at him. It was a genuine, tender kind of smile, the type that made Gon’s eyes crinkle at the ends and his golden irises soften into pools of warm brown.

Seeing Gon like that—honest, open and so obviously _caring_...was strange. Killua didn’t know what to make of it. He was used to Gon’s smirks and teases, his jibes and smug attitude. This, though? This was something on an entirely different level. It caught Killua off guard and for a few seconds, he simply stared.

“I mean it,” Gon continued while continued to Killua look at him wordlessly. “It was really heartwarming to see you guys reunite. You really love her.”

Killua took a deep breath to steady himself and started packing again. _Focus, Killua, focus._

Aloud he said, “She’s all I have left. Of course I love her.”

“And your parents? Where are they?”

 _“Out_ of the picture.”

“Oh?” Gon asked. His voice sounded a bit closer than before, Killua noticed, and the back of his neck prickled.

“Yep,” he said shortly.

“Sounds like a story.”

“Sounds like you need to stop being so damn nosy.”

Gon laughed at that. Gon was always laughing, Killua was quickly starting to realize. That really shouldn’t surprise him though, considering how Gon never seemed to stop smiling _either._

“You’re funny, Killua.”

“No—” Killua whirled around, glaring daggers at Gon who had somehow managed to slide up right beside him, “—I’m irritated and have zero patience to deal with your shit right now. Back up, Gon, don’t make me toss you out my window!”

Gon tilted his head curiously. “Out of your broken window, you mean?”

Killua froze. Gon continued casually, “I don’t think you’d be able to, anyway. I’m a lot stronger than you are.”

“I’m stronger than I look,” Killua growled, quickly recovering from Gon’s comment. How was Gon so—so bizarrely _perceptive?!_ That hole had taken Killua a good few minutes to find—

“I’m still stronger.” Gon flashed him a smile that was all teeth. “I’ve got more muscle than you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re more…” Killua’s limbs locked in place as Gon dragged his gaze over Killua’s body. He felt his pulse start to climb at the achingly slow sweep of Gon’s eyes and his skin tingled.

“…lean,” Gon finished. He sounded hoarse, voice rough in a way that made Killua’s breath catch in his throat.

 _No,_ Killua thought as his eyes widened. No, no no nonono _no—_

Killua snapped. “I don’t give two craps about your obvious muscle mass, okay! I’ve got more than enough annoyance stored up from spending the last two hours with you to hurl you out that window!”

Gon stepped closer. His shadow fell across Killua’s face and Killua tensed reflexively.

“Obvious muscle mass? Have you been checking me out, Killua?”

The fury inside him boiled over. “Fuck you, Gon!”

“That’s a bit soon, don’t you think? We haven’t kissed yet, remember?”

Killua’s jaw dropped because— _what?!_ WHAT.

“And wouldn’t that be really rude?” Gon continued in that infuriatingly thoughtful tone. “Tossing out your guest through a window isn’t exactly good manners, you know.”

Killua managed to choke out, “You are not my guest.”

Gon amended cheekily, “As someone who helped save your sister’s life, then.”

Shit.

“Listen,” Killua began and started to lean backwards to offset Gon’s leaning _forward._ “I—I really appreciate your help and everything.”

“Yeah?” Gon looked like he was desperately trying not to smile again.

“B-But I think, uh…”

Too close too close _way too fucking close!!!_

“What do you think?” Gon asked, face so close to Killua’s that Killua could make out every individual freckle sprinkled across perfectly tan cheeks.

Killua sucked in a shuddering breath. His heart was galloping inside his chest, erratic and heavy and real. Gon was gazing at Killua like he was entranced. Like Killua was something impossibly beautiful and fascinating and wondrous to behold—

All things Killua was not.

Killua clenched his hand tighter without thinking. He didn’t outwardly react to the sharp pain from the tip of Illumi’s needle, but it brought him crashing back to ground, to reality. To the fact that the longer they stayed here, the sooner Killua and Alluka would be in danger. And Killua couldn’t let his attraction to Gon distract him while their lives were on the line.

Because that’s what all these seemingly random feelings were, Killua abruptly realized with a shock that sent ice skittering down his spine. All of Killua’s reactions to Gon—the racing heart and dry mouth, the butterflies in his stomach and the red hue spreading across his cheeks and to the tips of his ears—it could only mean one thing.

That Killua was _attracted_ to Gon.

“Holy shit,” Killua whispered between unmoving lips. He didn’t understand what the hell was going on; he hadn’t had a crush or anything even remotely similar in at least a year, and now this?! He couldn’t even tell if he was into Gon because of his body, or his interest in Killua, or—

“What?” Gon murmured and—oh god, he was still moving in.

Killua panicked. He slammed his hands flat against Gon’s chest and roughly shoved him backwards and _away._

“But—” Killua snarled as Gon stumbled, “—it all ends there. I still don’t want anything to do with you or your little gang or—”

“Or my general existence?” Gon joked. He was too cheerful for someone who had just been violently rejected.

Killua ground his teeth together. “Yes. That.”

“I dunno, Killua,” Gon said and Killua felt a stupid little thrill in his stomach at the sound of his name rolling out between Gon’s enticing lips.

“—you looked pretty interested to me just now,” Gon finished slyly.

Killua immediately shot back, “You must have pretty terrible eyesight, then.”

“Nope. I got 20/20 vision.”

“Bull.”

“Not at all!” Gon said gleefully. “I could’ve been a pilot, maybe! If I wanted. But there’s a lot of rules and stuff in the military, so that would be hard.”

Gon was enjoying this. Really, _really_ enjoying this if the smirk plastered on his face was anything to go by. He was getting a kick out from teasing Killua and seeing him squirm and flounder like a fish out of water. The sheer mortification from it all was enough to make Killua’s cheeks burn like melted wax.

“Not one for rules, huh?” Killua concluded sourly.

“No,” Gon admitted. “Not really. I rely more on intuition to make decisions on what to do, where to go.” Gon peaked at Killua through thick brown lashes. “…who to see.”

Killua’s throat tightened and he struggled to breathe normally. This was bad. He needed to break this bizarre spell Gon had on him—he needed to get back in control of himself. He needed to move, _now._

“Good for you,” Killua said and was proud at the steadiness of his voice. “But not everyone is like that, you know.”

The corners of Gon’s mouth twitched. “No?”

“No,” Killua said firmly. “Some of us like the standard rules of society. For example— _personal space._ Ever heard of it?”

Gon was biting his lip to keep himself from laughing, now. “A little,” he answered.

“Good, then you should know how it works. I won’t repeat myself again, Gon; _back off._ Even if you are a guest—which you aren’t—I need the room to—”

Gon cut him off swiftly, “To pack? That’s what you’re doing with the suitcase, right?”

“None of your business,” Killua replied coolly.

“Whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work.”

Killua rolled his eyes all the way to the back of his head and turned his back on Gon, facing his suitcase once more. “Yeah, sure, thanks for that oh-so-wise piece of advice. I’ll keep that in mind when—”

“Running away from whoever is after you won’t help, Killua! They’ll just chase after you. And next time, they’ll get you for sure.”

Killua froze, one hand hovering over a zippered compartment. His tone was ice-cold when he said, “You don’t know _anything,_ Gon. Don’t make assumptions just because you got a tiny glimpse of my personal life.”

“I’m not making assumptions.” Gon ducked his head to catch Killua’s eye but Killua turned his head away, refusing to even look at him. “Killua, you...listen, two men came into your home today. The only reason they would do that is because they wanted something. Most likely, that something was you and your sister. And now you’re saying not to make assumptions when you’re in the middle of packing your clothes to run away? _And_ your window is broken? You’re scared about something, clearly. But bolting isn’t the smartest option here.”

Rage flared up inside Killua like a wildfire. He balled his hands into fists, knuckles turning white under the pressure. It took every bit of control he had to keep himself from lashing out at Gon right then and there.

Those words reminded him too much of his parents’ endless prattling: how he always needed to be one step ahead, how he had to act and think a certain way, that he had to be _smart._ Smarter than anyone because the moment you slipped, you fell.

But Killua would rather fall to his death than be shackled in chains for the rest of his life. He didn’t care about being smart, he cared about _living._

“I’ve been smart enough to survive this far,” Killua snarled at Gon, tone acidic. “I don’t need advice from _anyone_ on how to live my life. So shut the fuck up before I punch your lights out and physically toss you out onto the street myself!”

Gon reeled backwards in shock. He obviously hadn’t been expecting such a strong reaction from Killua, rage radiating from him in waves.

It only took Gon a moment to bounce back. He visibly swallowed before starting, “Killua, just listen, okay? I want to help you.”

“I don’t want your help—I don’t _need_ it.”

“Just listen, then. That’s all I’m asking. You owe me that much.”

Killua didn’t say anything to that. Gon took it as a sign to continue and he said quickly, nearly stumbling over his words in his hurry, “You and Alluka are in trouble, okay. I don’t know why or how, but you are. You need to get away but there’s not a lot of people to trust if you’ve got a bedroom as empty as this.”

Killua barely held back the urge to swing his fist into Gon’s stupid button nose. “Gon, I’m warning you—”

“You probably are thinking you’ll go to Leorio’s, but Leorio is a doctor. Not really a fighting guy. He can’t protect you for very long, you might not even have the time to come up with another plan before these guys are marching up his steps, too. And then Leorio will also be in danger.”

“I don’t need you to repeat the flaws in my plan back to me—”

“So,” Gon said loudly. “You should stay with me, instead.”

Killua’s jaw dropped. “I—you—” he stammered, completely caught off guard, _“—what?!”_

“Listen!” Gon insisted, inching closer— _again_. “Me and my friends know how to fight! They protected your sister and they can protect you too while we’re in town. That should give you enough time to figure out a new life, new identities—whatever you need to start over again. I can give you time, Killua. Plus shelter and food and safety for however long you need it. Let me do this for you. Please.”

Killua’s mind was a whirlwind of chaos and confusion. Gon’s proposition was equal parts tempting and insane. But even though he hated himself for admitting to it, Gon’s plan _was_ the most logical and would probably provide them the best protection. But…

“Why do you want to help us?” he asked.

Gon cracked a smile. “If you come with me, I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

“Everything?” Killua repeated as his eyes narrowed into blue slits.

“Everything,” Gon swore.

“And in return? What’s your price?”

“Just your wonderful company and pretty face!”

Killua pointedly ignored that entire idiotic sentence. “I don’t believe you.”

“Then don’t,” Gon said simply and stuck up his pinky finger. “Believe your instincts. What is your gut telling you to do?”

Killua looked at Gon’s finger and nearly collapsed onto the floor. He couldn’t understand the absolute insanity that had been today. He was almost tempted to believe the last twenty-four hours had been a dream, but Illumi would’ve been here by now if that were the case.

“You’re crazy,” he said weakly even as he hesitantly curled his finger around Gon’s.

Gon’s answering grin was dazzling. “Only for you, Killua. Keep packing, okay? I’m going to tell everyone else what’s going on.”

He sprinted out of the room before Killua could properly register what Gon had said. And then Killua was left standing alone at the edge of his bed, face burning and skin tingling.

Killua let out a groan and collapsed onto his pillow. It was going to be a very, very long next couple of days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/13/18
> 
> Aaaaaaaand there's chapter three! :D Hope you all enjoyed, this chapter turned out way longer than I ever planned when I first started writing. It was supposed to be a filler chapter of sorts but I ended up having too much fun writing Killua and Gon's banter and this is the end result lol
> 
> THANK YOUS go out to softkillua on tumblr for beta'ing, godspeedcomplex on tumblr for beta'ing, AND sketchxhunter for not only beta'ing but also drawing the beautiful and stunning art that you see at the start of every chapter!!!!!!!! She's amazing and so so so talented and if you like her stuff, please check out her other works on her tumblr [HERE](http://sketchxhunter.tumblr.com/tagged/myart)! :D
> 
> I have a playlist for this fic on spotify that you can find [HERE](https://open.spotify.com/user/decembercamiecherries/playlist/0uMbgB0Zerb8J3EnY5SP1t). The songs aren't in any order so you can listen to it however you'd like!  
> Also, [HERE](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/tagged/Graffiti) is the general Graffiti tag on my tumblr if you'd like to see more stuff about this fic!
> 
> Okay, I'm done. Thank you so so so much for reading, until next time!


	4. What Do You Want?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I pulled you out here because…” Gon’s voice trailed off and Killua glanced at him from the corner of his eye. The other teen’s expression was clouded over now, brown brows pulled down anxiously.
> 
> Killua frowned. “Because?” he prompted.
> 
> Gon let out a long breath. “Because, back at your apartment I promised I would tell you why I’m in Masadora. So I’m going to fulfill that promise.”
> 
> Killua’s step faltered. Gon was actually keeping his promise?
> 
> “R-Really?”
> 
> Gon nodded.

“Hey,” a too-loud voice whispered in his ear. Killua stiffened as a warm hand curled over his shoulder, fighting down the instinct to grab the arm belonging to the hand and flip its owner over onto his back. It was a natural reaction, _especially_ after everything that had happened in the past few hours, but….

“Killua,” the familiar voice whispered loudly again. Killua turned away from Alluka’s sleeping form and found himself staring directly into dark, honey brown eyes.

His pulse stuttered and Killua gritted his teeth, silently cursing himself. It was bad enough he had put Alluka in danger by moving in with Gon and his friends, did his treacherous heart _really_ need to react this way every time Gon got close? It was like his heart didn’t even care that Gon could destroy the fragile security Killua had built up for him and Alluka over the past two years.

Gon smiled widely, as if sensing Killua’s inner turmoil. He jerked his head towards the door—an invitation.

Killua’s eyes darted from Gon back to Alluka. He couldn’t leave her here. It wasn’t an option. What if—

But the warm hand had moved from his shoulder down to wrap around his wrist, insistently tugging him to his feet and away from Alluka’s bed before Killua could even think of putting up a fight.

A flare of anger rose up inside him and Killua dug his heels into the ground. He hissed into the darkness, “Gon—!”

“She’ll be fine!” the other teen insisted as they passed through the doorway to Alluka and Killua’s room. “Everyone will watch her, I promise. But right now—” his grip on Killua tightened and Killua sucked in a breath, “—we need to talk.”

“Can’t it wait until morning?!” Killua asked, exasperated.

“No. It has to be now.”

He pushed open the exit door and Killua was momentarily blinded. It was an unusually clear night—not a single cloud marred the ocean of stars spread out in the sky above them—and the moonlight alone was bright enough to make him cringe.

Gon, on the other hand, wasn’t affected at all. He wasted no time in yanking Killua off towards their right, then left, then right again. Killua only stumbled a few times, swallowing down every question that rose to his lips. If Gon hadn’t said where they were headed already, he probably wouldn’t tell Killua now.

He would just have to wait and trust that Gon knew where he was going.

Abruptly, Gon slowed. Killua matched his pace, then blinked at the familiar smell of fresh water and wet wood. He suddenly had a very good idea of where Gon was taking him, and wasn’t surprised when they passed a final row of buildings and saw the boardwalk just a few feet ahead.

They came to a stop as their sneakers touched the long planks of wood and for a few moments, the pair just breathed. Killua gazed out at the river laid before them as his heart rate started to slow. Moonlight glistened off the water’s gentle current, a faint breeze rustling the distant tree leaves. The only other sound was their own heavy panting, and the silence only made the obvious more noticable: he and Gon were totally alone here.

Killua recognized this place, of course. He and Alluka came here to the Boardwalk a lot on the weekends to skateboard between crowds and buy melting ice cream cones. They’d even taken shelter under one of the bridges after initially escaping from their family. The bridge had provided protection from the rain for the two homeless siblings and Killua had been grateful for that if nothing else.

But he could have never imagined that he would be standing here now, two years later and in the middle of the night, with a gang leader clinging to his arm.

Speaking of which.

“Okay.” Killua shook his wrist to throw Gon’s hand off. “That’s enough, let go.”

Gon grinned. “What, are you scared of holding my hand, Killua?”

“No,” he said shortly and pried Gon’s sweaty fingers off one by one. “I just don’t _want_ to hold your hand. There’s a difference.”

“Aw, Killua.” Gon placed his now free hand over his heart and sighed dramatically. “I’m hurt. I thought we had something special!”

Killua scowled. He couldn’t believe Gon was real, sometimes.

“If you don’t shut up, the _only_ thing you’re gonna have is my foot shoved up your ass,” he snapped.

Gon’s expression of mock pain dropped away instantly. Then his mouth curved into a smile and he was laughing so hard the sound echoed and bounced off the nearby buildings.

Killua stared at him. What the heck, he hadn’t said anything even remotely funny! If anything, he’d been threatening Gon and yet here he was, cackling like Killua had just told the greatest joke in the planet.

“You’re so loud, jeez,” he grumbled as Gon broke into a fit of giggles. “Seriously, I’m gonna push you into the river if you don’t stop it.”

Gon gasped, “I’m—sorry! I can’t— _ahaha_ —help it!”

He wheezed and covered his mouth with his fist, clearly trying to stop himself from laughing even more. Killua just continued watching in utter bafflement.

“How did you get so _weird?_ ” he asked. “Did your mom drop you on your head or something when you were a baby?!”

“I—” Gon took a huge gulp of air and wobbled upright into a standing position, “—wouldn’t know! I don’t think so, at least.”

Killua raised an eyebrow. Okay. Because that made _so_ much sense.

“I was adopted by my aunt!” Gon explained, catching Killua’s confusion. “She’s the one who raised me. I don’t know anything about my birth mom.”

Killua inwardly groaned. The last thing in the world he wanted was to learn more about Gon. That would just make everything so much harder than it already was—

“What about  _your_ mom?”

The question caught him off guard. Killua blinked owlishly, then narrowed his eyes at the freckled teen. Gon just looked back at him innocently.

“Oh no,” Killua growled. He shook his head and turned his back on Gon completely. “No way. We are not playing that game right now—”

“Why not?” Gon chased after Killua as he stomped down the boardwalk. “C'mon, Killua, it’s just a question!”

“You know why! I’m not telling you anything about me and Alluka’s past, or how I knew Leorio, or what the rest of my family’s like! You’re not getting anything from me. _At all._ Got it?!”

Gon stuck out his tongue. “You’re really no fun, Killua. It was just a question!”

“Yeah, well, go ask your questions to someone else.”

“Mm, nah. There’s no point if it’s not you, you know?”

Killua looked at him blankly. “Uh, no?”

Gon hummed, skipping slightly as he sang out, “You will! Maybe not right now, but one day!”

Killua resisted the urge to drag his nails down the side of his face. He didn’t get Gon. He might as well be speaking gibberish for all Killua got out of him. His motives and goals were total mysteries to Killua.

“Hey,” Killua said, suddenly remembering where they were. “What do you want, Gon?”

Gon tilted his head and the tips of his green spikes fell into honey colored eyes. “What do you mean?”

Something fluttered Killua’s chest. He crushed the feeling without hesitation or remorse.

A loud, he said, “I _mean,_ why did you drag me all the way out here? You said you wanted to talk.”

“Oh.” Gon’s expression was one of surprise, like he’d forgotten the reason why the two of them were on the Boardwalk in the first place. “Yeah. I did say that, didn’t I?”

 _“Yes,_ you did. Now tell me why you pulled me away from my sister or else I’m walking away. And if that happens, there’s no way I’m letting you drag me back here.”

Gon scrunched up his nose. “Eh? But I said Alluka would be fine! You need to trust me a little more, Ki—”

“No way,” Killua cut him off. “That’s never going to happen. Just tell me what you wanted to say so we can go back already. Unlike you, I have no desire to be out here.”

Gon huffed, looking genuinely put out for once, and Killua felt a small twinge of guilt. That kicked-puppy expression was wrong on Gon’s face, like it didn’t belong. It made Killua feel weirdly bad knowing that he was the cause of it, even though Gon had caused _him_ more than enough grief the past day.

“I pulled you out here because…” Gon’s voice trailed off and Killua glanced at him from the corner of his eye. The other teen’s expression was clouded over now, brown brows pulled down anxiously.

Killua frowned. “Because?” he prompted.

Gon let out a long breath. “Because, back at your apartment I promised I would tell you why I’m in Masadora. So I’m going to fulfill that promise.”

Killua’s step faltered. Gon was actually keeping his promise?

“R-Really?”

Gon nodded.

 _He was serious,_ Killua realized. He’d never seen Gon this—this _solemn_ before. There wasn’t a hint of light in those round eyes, no smile gracing that usually-happy mouth.

It made something unpleasant and heavy settle in Killua’s stomach.

“Are…are you sure?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah.” Gon lifted his face to the starry sky. “It’s better just to get some things over with.”

Huh. Interesting.

“Okay,” Killua said and tucked his hands behind his head. “Tell me, then.”

Gon kicked a stray pebble. It skittered along the boardwalk, skipping twice before tumbling off the edge and into the river below. Killua followed its path, listening attentively to Gon’s voice as he began by saying, “You remember when we first met, right? A little over a year ago?”

“Yes,” Killua said. “We established this already at the diner, Gon.”

“I know! I’m just making sure, that’s all. I was telling the truth back then that I got hurt because of a fight, but, um, it wasn’t just any fight. I mean, gangs fight all the time but this...wasn’t like that.”

“What do you mean?” Killua asked, heart weighing down with something close to dread.

“I mean,” Gon said slowly. “I got hurt chasing after someone who had kidnapped my gang leader, Kite.”

Killua’s brow puckered. “Wait, aren’t you the gang leader?”

Gon shook his head, eyes distant. “Not back then, I wasn’t. Kite was the leader for years and years before the ants showed up.”

Killua’s blood ran cold.

The ants, Gon had said. As in: Atypical Neutrality Trajectory Soldiers. _ANTS._

“You’re a Hunter,” he breathed, eyes growing large, and Gon nodded.

Killua curled his hands into fists, pulse starting to race through his veins. Hunters weren’t like normal gangs, if anyone could even call them that. Hunters were based in Swaldani City but they spread all around the world without care or regard for other countries’ boundaries. They were specialized, had a unique set of interests that grouped them together; they were more like cults or guilds from the Middle Ages than any kind of modern day gangs Killua knew about.

They were also far more deadly than your average delinquent. Hunters were highly trained in their specialty, driven to do anything to pursue it as well as protect the people in their gang with that same level of passion.

Killua remembered his father's words echoing from years old memories:

 _“Stay away from Hunters, Killua. They don’t play by the rules, or bend them as we do. To Hunters, there_ are _no rules. The only way to deal with a Hunter is to kill them. And that’s what you should do if you ever come across one of them. Understand?”_

Killua swallowed thickly, mouth cotton dry. Shit. This was worse than he could’ve ever imagined.

“I became a Hunter when I was twelve,” Gon stated casually and Killua nearly tripped.

“T-Twelve?! But—aren’t you supposed to pass some ridiculous test before you can call yourself a Hunter?!”

Gon brightened. “Yeah! And it was really hard, but kind of fun, too! I made some friends. They’re nice, even if I don’t see them too often anymore. But…Killua, how do you know that?”

Killua’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“Well, it’s just—” Gon looked at him, and this time there was a new kind of scrutiny to his gaze, “—only Hunters know about the Hunter Exam. It’s not widespread information or anything.”

Fuck. Killua’s throat constricted. He’d messed up. Fuck fuck fuck _fuck._

“Killua?” Gon repeated and Killua stilled.

Focus, Killua. Gon didn’t know anything and he had to do everything he could to keep it that way.

“It doesn’t matter how I know it,” he grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets so Gon couldn’t see them shaking. “This is about _you,_ not me. Just keep talking, I’m starting to get cold.”

“It’s the beginning of summer, Killua.”

“Does it look like I care?!” Killua retorted, practically bristling now. “Stop questioning me and get on with your stupid explanation already!”

Gon grinned. The light in his eyes danced in the moonlight and Killua had the feeling Gon was inwardly laughing at him. “But _you’re_ the one who interrupted. Remember?”

“Gon,” Killua said, voice dropping low in a warning. “If you don’t shut up—”

“Okay, okay! I get it.” Gon held up his hands in surrender. “But, um, yeah! I’m a Hunter. And I was with Kite and his gang for about two years when…”

His cheeky expression faltered, his bright smile giving away to something much, much darker.

“When the ANTS came,” Killua said quietly.

Killua remembered the day the ANTS invaded Swaldani City. It had been around the time he was preparing to run away with Alluka; he had passed a news station during a trip with Illumi and his father when he read—

_GOVERNMENT SENDS IN ANTS: HUNTER EXTERMINATION STARTS NOW_

Distantly, Killua heard Gon admit, “Yeah. The ANTS. They were sent in by the government to ‘control’ the Hunter population. Apparently we were getting too rowdy and powerful in our numbers even though we only exist in one city.”

 _But you branch out,_ Killua resisted the urge to say. _You form in Swaldani City but you travel everywhere, even to other countries. You take what you want and leave. And our government couldn’t stand for that anymore._

It was different in the Mafia; they played the rules and danced behind them to further their power and standing. They were bound by old alliances and older traditions. But Hunters didn’t care about that. They took what they wanted without regard for anyone but themselves. And that made them dangerous, especially if there was a lot of them.

So the Hunters had to go.

“The ANTS,” Killua started and Gon zeroed in on his face with an intensity that made Killua’s skin tingle. “They took your leader? What were you guys even Hunting, anyway? Gangs like yours don’t bother with the kind of stupid shit that regular gangs pull, like graffiti or something.”

“Bugs. Animals. Extinct or rare species. Kite liked to collect them, or at least see them if it was too dangerous to take them with us. Me, I just followed him around. Kite was my guardian.”

“What about your aunt?”

“She died,” Gon said a matter-of-factly. “Kite was the one who took me home after her funeral.”

Killua dropped his gaze to his dirt-covered sneakers, a numbness growing in his chest. He didn’t know what to say to that. Killua thought about death, and saw voidless eyes and a high pitched voice calling his name—

Killua bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from thinking any further. He didn’t need this right now. Gon’s aunt had nothing to do with Killua’s past and he couldn’t afford to lose himself in memories that weighed him down until he could no longer breathe.

That life was behind him. All he could do was keep moving forward with Alluka, to protect her where he had failed before.

“I’m sorry,” he offered at last, tone hollow. If Gon noticed anything was off with Killua, he didn’t show it; he simply gave Killua a tight smile, shadows lingering in the corners of his eyes.

“Thanks. She was great. And Kite—he was great too! I loved traveling and seeing the world with him!”

“Was?” Killua repeated and instantly regretted the question at the way Gon’s expression froze in place.

Of course. _Was,_ because Kite wasn’t the leader of his gang anymore; Gon was the one who told the others what to do now. And that could only mean one thing.

“Yeah,” Gon said quietly. There was an edge in his voice—dark, full of rage and uncontrollable fury—that had Killua’s hair standing on end. “He…Kite’s gone. The ANTS took him and paraded his dead body in parts around Swaldani City, promising to do that to every single last one of us if we didn’t disband.”

Goosebumps broke across Killua’s skin. It wasn’t a pretty image, what Gon was telling him.

“Did you listen to them?” he asked, his tone calmer than he felt.

Gon shrugged but his face was still closed off, blank and emotionless in his stoic fury. “Some did, most didn’t. But it was just enough to satisfy the government. The ANTS left within a few months.”

Killua chewed the new information over silently. What Gon said made sense with what few news articles Killua had read at that time.

But it didn’t explain why Gon was here _now._

“The ANTS Project ended a year ago,” Killua said slowly, not missing when Gon’s hands twitched at his words. “It ended after we met. Why did you come _back_ to Masadora?”

“Mmm…lots of reasons. The buildings are pretty, the italian food here is really good—”

 _“Gon,”_ Killua growled, not to be fooled, and Gon smiled for a second, some of the light from earlier filtered back into his eyes.

“There was a rumor,” he finally confessed. “About Kite’s body being stored somewhere here, since this city was the first place the ANTS came after leaving Swaldani.”

He paused. Killua eyed the way Gon twiddled his thumbs awkwardly, how he chewed his soft, bottom lip. There was something else he wanted to say, clearly.

 _“And?”_ Killua urged. Then, to his complete and utter surprise, Gon’s cheeks darkened with a slight blush.

“And, well, you were here!” Gon chirped. “I wanted to see you again. So this was the perfect opportunity!”

Heat blossomed across Killua’s face. He scowled to hide the scarlet tinge of his skin, despising himself for how quickly and visibly his body reacted to Gon’s simple words.

“S-Stupid,” he bit out and turned away from Gon so he wouldn’t see Killua flush.

Gon laughed—a _real_ laugh, without tension and anger, a sound beautiful in its free joy—

“If you say so, Killua,” Gon said and Killua didn’t need to turn back around to see the radiant smile on his face.

Killua bit the inside of his cheek. _Fucking_ —gang member with his stupid gremlin hair and button nose and, and, and leather clothes! God, Killua wanted to punch that stupid grin right off Gon’s freckled face! That would probably just make Gon laugh even more, though, knowing him.

“You are an idiot,” he retorted as Gon continued to grin at him in obvious amusement. “Who in their right mind would come to Masadora, a city just ten minutes from the capital, based on a _rumor?!_ That’s crazy, it doesn’t make sense!”

“Eh. Well.” Gon scratched his cheek. “My sources are pretty good. I trust them. Plus, like I said, you’re here so…”

Killua blinked. That sentence—it had a different meaning this time when Gon had said it. He could tell.

But, why? Why would Killua’s presence specifically make a difference? Sure, Killua had reached out to his own sources last year to help Gon when he was hurt, but that was—

Something clicked, like a puzzle piece falling into place.

Killua abruptly stopped walking. Understanding washed over him in a moment of pure clarity, and suddenly he couldn’t breathe.

Gon. He was...he was _using_ Killua.

“Killua?” Gon had noticed Killua wasn’t walking anymore and had turned around. He cocked his head to the side. “Are you okay?”

Killua swallowed thickly. Hot, prickling anger raced through his veins and he had to make a conscious effort not to throw himself Gon in a fit of violent rage.

Was he _okay?!_ Was Gon seriously asking him that after everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours?!

“You want my help finding Kite’s body,” he stated and his voice trembled with his fury. “Don’t you. _That’s_ why you wanted to talk to me again.”

Gon must have sensed the change in the air between them; he stood up straighter, golden gaze quickly sweeping over Killua’s form and clouding over in confusion. He said hesitantly, “Um. Yes?”

Killua curled his hands into claws. “And _why,”_ he growled out. “Did you think I would help you with something like that?!”

Honest surprise caused Gon’s eyes to widen. “Because you helped me before,” he said, like his insane reasoning was somehow obvious. “When I was hurt, you got Leorio to stitch me up and everything!”

“That was totally different!” Killua snapped. Back then, he wasn’t putting Alluka’s life in danger. Back then, the other Zoldycks weren’t so close to finding them.

Back then, he could drop Gon off with Leorio and wash his hands of him once and for all! But he couldn’t do that now, not with Illumi right on their tail!

Gon was still confused. “How? I just need to know what you know, maybe that could—”

Killua didn’t hesitate. He whipped out the gun in his back pocket and leveled it directly at Gon’s face.

Silence.

Tension hung heavy in the air between them. Killua’s chest heaved, skin tingling as if he’d been struck with lighting. Still, his hand on the gun was as steady as always. He’d been using guns since he was a child; it was an extension of him, as natural and easy as breathing. He had never missed a target more than a handful times.

And he knew Gon could tell that by the way he’d frozen in place, still as a bronze statue.

Killua watched Gon stare at the barrel with large, round eyes. _They shone in the moonlight like molten gold,_ he thought and tightened his hold on the gun until his knuckles were paper-white. He couldn’t afford to be distracted right now, no matter how mesmerizing the color and intensity of Gon’s eyes.

Those eyes trailed up the line of the midnight black gun to Killua’s arms, tracing along his neck before finally landing on Killua’s face. Killua waited, blood roaring in his ears, but Gon didn’t say anything. He just stared and stared and stared.

“You talk too much,” Killua finally breathed a few seconds later.

Gon opened his mouth, “Ki—”

_Click._

The sound of the safety break being pulled out was like a thunderbolt compared to the low rumble of the river by their side. It echoed off the buildings and side alleys just as Gon’s laughter had done, ricocheted back onto their ears.

“Don’t,” Killua warned and Gon’s gaze darted to the gun before jumping back up to Killua’s face. _“Don’t._ Do you think I’m playing around with this? Because I’m not. I’ll shoot a bullet through your skull without blinking and toss your dead corpse into the water. Then I’ll go back to Alluka, and we’ll run. No one will figure out what happened here until your body washes ashore days from now.”

Gon listened to Killua’s speech quietly, his eyes never straying once from Killua’s. Killua didn’t know what Gon saw there—he couldn’t read the emotion behind that calculating gaze—and he _did not care._

He was done. Done with being a means to someone else’s goals, done with living each day like it was his last, done with putting Alluka’s life in danger.

He wouldn’t do it. Especially for a some eccentric, adrenaline-junkie of a Hunter wanting to meddle with _ANTS,_ of all things.

“You’re bad news, Gon,” he said calmly. “And I don’t care what you want from me or who exactly you are, I just want you out of my life.”

Gon’s face was blank as stone. “You mean that?”

Killua took a step forward and pressed the gun’s opening to Gon’s skin, right between his eyes.

“What do you think?” he asked softly.

A small breeze picked up, sounding like a low moan as it passed through the alleyways and twisted around building corners. It made Killua’s jacket whip around his waist and tousled his white locks. Still, he refused to move—blue eyes stayed locked on gold.

“I think,” Gon said quietly after the wind died away. “That you’re scared. You think I’m going to find out what your big secret is, that I’m going to ruin the peace you’ve built up here.”

The cold barrel pressed harder into Gon’s tanned skin. Killua said lowly, “Careful, Gon.”

“You asked me a question,” Gon retorted and Killua’s nostrils flared.

“Maybe. But _I’m_ the one with the gun in my hands. You’d do well to remember that, don’t you think?”

Gon’s eyes bored into his. “You haven’t shot me yet.”

“Doesn’t mean I won’t.”

“I don’t think you will.”

“Oh, really? And what makes you so sure? I’ve shot a lot of people. Shooting you would be easy.”

“Because,” Gon said simply. “You’re Killua.”

Killua wanted to _scream._ Gon’s logic was pure insanity at best. At worst, it was absolute gibberish.

“What the _hell_ does that mean?!” he barked. “You don’t know anything about me!”

“I know enough,” Gon said stubbornly.

“You—” Killua hissed and took a step closer, not missing the way Gon’s breathing hitched, “—are delusional. We had one dinner together. _One._ That doesn’t mean we’re suddenly best friends forever!”

“Maybe we could be!” Gon finally snapped back, mouth pulled down in a snarl that was so ferocious it made Killua freeze.

Gon took a deep breath. “We could be,” Gon repeated, softer this time. “I...Killua, listen, I’m not _just_ here to use you and your resources, or to bother you and Alluka, even though you might not believe me…”

Killua’s throat tightened at the gentle, warm light that entered Gon’s eyes. He was looking at Killua like he had earlier, back in Killua’s bedroom—with a fondness that left Killua momentarily stunned and reeling.

“I was being honest earlier, when said I wanted to spend time with you,” Gon continued stubbornly. “I swear it. And you can yell at me all night until dawn that I’m lying, but that won’t prove anything. You know that, and I know that. So, why don’t you just...put down the gun, and we can talk about this face to face until we figure something out. Okay?”

Killua pressed his lips into a thin line. He hated how reasonable Gon sounded. He would much rather scream and rage at the freckled teen, release all his pent up frustration and anger until it was all spent.

But that was stupid. And Killua hadn’t survived this long by being stupid.

“You know what? I have a better idea,” Killua said and Gon’s eyebrows jumped up.

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “What kind of idea?”

“One where we both get what we want.”

A strange gleam entered into Gon’s eyes, the kind that made Killua’s heart lurch. He tightened his grip on the lever to keep his arm from shaking.

He couldn’t afford to show any weakness right now.

“And what is it that _you_ want, Ki-llu-a?” Gon asked, voice dropping.

“I want you to disappear,” Killua stated bluntly. He didn’t react at all to the shock on Gon’s eyes, the way his entire body froze over like ice.

Killua continued calmly, “I want you to leave this city, get as far away from here as possible. I want you to never contact me, or my sister ever again. If I see you, or even hear your voice ever again after this, I’ll make sure it’s the last thing you ever do.”

Gon stared at him, unblinkingly. There was no movement in his face, no flicker of his irises or twist of his lips. It was like he’d turned into stone. It was only because of Killua’s background that he was able to catch the smallest twitch of Gon’s hands, the strange pain in the depth of his golden irises.

Killua’s stomach flipped. Was Gon… _upset_ with this deal? No, that couldn’t be it; they barely knew each other. The idea of never seeing each other after this was all over shouldn’t affect Gon that much. It certainly didn’t affect Killua.

But there was something else—something that caused a  pang in his chest at that slight sadness on Gon’s face—that almost made him think differently.

“So...if I leave you alone,” Gon began. “You’ll help me find Kite? That’s your grand idea?”

Killua scowled at the sarcasm. “Yes. It is. You can take it or leave it, but who knows if you’ll ever find your dear mentor without my help.”

Gon’s eyes flashed dangerously. “I _will_ find Kite. No matter what. Nothing is going to stop me from saving him.”

 _He’s already dead,_ Killua thought bitterly. _You’re not saving anyone by going through with this. Not even yourself._

“Sure you are,” Killua said out loud. “You’ll find him a lot faster with my help, though.”

Gon curled his hands into fists. “But if I do that, I won’t ever get to see you again. Or talk to you.”

Killua almost rolled his eyes. “Life’s rough, Gon. Make your choice. What’s worth more to you? Finding Kite, or talking to me. The answer should be obvious.”

The rest of this words died in the back of his throat. Goosebumps broke across his skin and he sucked in a quick breath; Gon was glaring at him venomously, a palpable and seething anger rolling off his body in waves.

Killua’s mouth went dry. Shit. Had he just pushed Gon too far? Maybe baiting him with Kite was a bad idea—

“Fine,” Gon bit out and slapped the gun away from his forehead. A sharp _CRACK_ echoed around them, loud and shocking. “I’ll agree. You help me find Kite, and I promise I’ll never bother you again.”

“You _or_ your little gang,” Killua retorted and Gon visibly gritted his teeth.

“And my gang.”

“And you can’t bother Alluka, either.”

Gon snorted, the sound was strangely bitter. “I think that’s a given, Killua.”

 _“Nothing_ is a given, Gon. And I refuse to take risks when it comes to—”

Gon blurred. Something warm grabbed Killua’s wrist, yanking him forward and straight into Gon chest.

And that was how Killua suddenly found himself nose-to-nose with very person he’d just been threatening to kill. He stiffened as one of Gon’s muscular arms wrapped securely around Killua’s waist, his other hand catching Killua’s in a bone-crushing grip. Gon’s freckled face hovered less than a centimeter away from Killua’s and, for a moment, Killua forgot to breathe.

All Killua could see were those eyes: burning and golden, so intense in their stare that they made Killua’s blood rush to his face and his heart start to pound. Gon’s eyes rendered Killua speechless. All he could do was gaze into their depths as every thought in his brain fizzled out into nothingness.

Gon opened his mouth to speak, and Killua’s already erratic heartbeat started to race like it was trying to fly right out of his chest—

“I won’t let anything happen to your sister,” Gon said, tone low and gravely as goosebumps rose across Killua’s skin. “I swear it. But, Killua. You should know, if that’s the deal you want…”

Gon leaned in, until his lips brushed the shell of Killua’s ear. Killua’s head swam as Gon whispered:

“We’re staying together until our promise is over. From now on, it’s you and me against the world. Do we have a deal?”

Killua swallowed thickly, mouth dry.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/3/18  
> The cool thing about this chapter, is that the scene with Killua pointing the gun at Gon is the reason why I wanted to write a multi-chap fic in this au in the first place XD I thought it would be interesting to have them at each other's throats in a sense when we so often see them as best friends and lovers and all this other stuff? They're not friends (yet) in this au; Killua would have definitely shot Gon if Gon had pushed him too far ^^;
> 
> But, yeah, so now we have Gon's back story! It's a post-chimera ant arc setting in a sense. Killua's backstory comes later but you guys already know bits and pieces of it....anyway, thank you so much for reading and for all of the support this story as received so far!!! Your comments and kudos and bookmarks and everything else make my day thank you <333
> 
> [Sketchxhunter](http://sketchxhunter.tumblr.com/) made the chapter art!!!!!! She's so talented I died when I saw the art for this chapter T^T softkillua and godspeedcomplex on tumblr both beta'd, thank you <3
> 
> [[My tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)


	5. Of Cakes and Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What kind of game am I gonna kick your ass in?”
> 
> “Sparring, of course!” Gon bounced back and forth on his feet, taking a few practice punches. “I wanna see just how good you really are.”
> 
> “You’re going to die,” Killua said flatly. “You’re going to die, and then whine about it for the next week and a half like the little kid you are. You seriously have no idea what you’re getting yourself into with this; you haven’t really seen what I can do, Gon—”
> 
> “You don’t know what I can do, either! Trust me, I can handle anything you throw at me!”
> 
> Killua huffed and shook his head. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when I have you begging for mercy.”
> 
> “We’ll see just who’s begging who at the end of this,” Gon said and Killua’s heart skipped a beat before starting to race in a mix of excitement and anticipation.

__

_THWANK!_

“UGH!”

Alluka teetered backwards before catching herself at the very edge of the mat. She was breathing heavy, strands of brown locks falling out of her ponytail and sticking to her shiny, sweat-slicked face. She glared viciously at Killua with eyes that flashed like blue fire and her fingers curled into white-knuckled fists.

Killua just arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“That was a cheap shot!” she growled as she stomped back his way.

He ducked away from her punch, caught her swinging leg with one hand, and huffed.

“Anything is fair in a fight, Alluka,” he retorted. He quickly released her calf and stopped her elbow a second before it slammed into his nose.

She grunted. “I thought this was—” she pushed harder, forcing him to give under the increased pressure and leap away, “—practice!”

“Still a fight,” he retorted while slowly circling her. She turned to follow his path and kept her stance firm.

 _Good,_ he thought grimly. She was getting better. He let energy flood through is muscles, tensed, and attacked.

He was before Alluka in a half second. She darted under his fist and he had to throw his head back to avoid a punch to his chin. He grunted as her knuckles dug into his ribs, a sharp jolt of pain flaring at the hit.

Alluka smirked. “Three to two.”

Killua narrowed his eyes to slits. “Not for long,” he warned and Alluka was almost too late to stop his next round of lightning-quick hits to her _arms-face-neck._

Back and forth they went, exchanging blow for blow, blocking and sliding away from each other in a kind of violent dance. Half of it was instinct, the rest practice; they’d sparred with each other too often not to predict the other’s moves, to block hits that enemies less familiar might miss.

Alluka was good. _Very_ good, if Killua had anything to say about it. He’d been training her in secret long before they left home, passing on his own mandatory trainings to her so she could also defend herself if needed. She could hold her own against pretty much anyone at this point.

But Killua wasn’t just anyone. And while Alluka was fast for her age and height, she still wasn’t faster than Killua.

“ACK!”

Alluka didn’t react quick enough to stop Killua’s kick; she toppled backwards, head colliding on the styrofoam mat with a _thunk._ She gasped and struggled to get off the floor but Killua dropped onto her hips before she had the chance. He pinned her hands above her head easily and shoved an arm under her chin.

“You lose,” he said sweetly and Alluka hissed at him, still twisting and trying to throw him off.

“Let me go!”

“No way. You lost. Accept defeat.”

“Never!”

Killua leaned closer to his sister. Alluka went cross-eyed trying to keep him in sight and he almost laughed at how ridiculous it made her look.

“Alluka,” he said, adding pressure when she pointlessly kicked out her legs. “Don’t—hey! Stop it, jeez! Don’t make me tickle you.”

Horror flooded her eyes. “You _wouldn’t.”_

“Oh, trust me, I would.”

“You said you wouldn’t do that anymore!”

Killua paused. He had said that. But— “This is a fight, so…it’s fair.”

“No, it’s not!” she cried out. She was thrashing harder now, and he squeezed her wrists to keep her from squirming away. “Brother, no!!! Don’t—!”

“Admit defeat,” he said again, fingers already inching towards her sides.

“N-No!”

Killua _tsk_ -ed. It was getting harder and harder to keep the evil grin off his face.

“Give the girl a break, Killua!” a voice hollered in the background.

“Yeah, you already got her trapped and everything—”

“No one asked you guys!” Killua snapped back, keeping his focus zeroed in on Alluka’s panting form. He heard Stick and Monta sigh from somewhere off in the distance, but ignored them. This was between siblings, they didn’t have a right to intervene.

Gon’s gang friends were always watching Killua and Alluka’s fights, giving in their opinions and advice like Killua wasn’t good enough to teach Alluka on his own. It would’ve been irritating beyond belief if they hadn’t been saying useful things most of the time.

Gon had been right about one thing; his friends knew how to fight.

“I’m waiting,” Killua drawled at Alluka. His hand was drawing closer and closer to Alluka’s ticklish spot. She flinched and tried to move away again, but no amount of bucking could get her out of Killua’s grip. She was stuck.

The tips of Killua’s fingers grazed her ribs—

“NO!!! BROTHER—BROTHER, FINE!” Alluka shrieked. “FINE, I SURRENDER, STOP STOP STOP STOP—”

Killua let out a bark of laughter and released her. His sister wasted no time in dumping Killua onto the cold mat and scrambling as far away from him as possible.

Killua chortled at the furious betrayal in Alluka’s face. Pushing himself to a standing position, Killua grinned triumphantly down at Alluka. “So? What did we learn today?”

She leveled a murderous look at him. If he’s been any person besides her brother, he would have quailed under her furious gaze.

She hissed, “That you don’t keep your promises!”

Killua shook his head with a sigh. “Now, Alluka. We both know promises have no place in sparring sessions—”

“You never said that! I trusted you!”

“Wrong move, really,” he said, trying to hold back his snickers; Alluka looked like she was ready to tear him apart limb by limb. Laughing at her boiling anger would definitely push her over the edge, but he couldn’t help himself.

 _“Stop_ teasing me—”

“You were too slow,” he cut her off sharply. “You didn’t react fast enough. You saw my leg moving and hesitated. And what do we say about hesitation?”

Alluka’s anger melted away, giving away to something close to shame. “Hesitation kills,” she said softly and Killua nodded.

“Right. It does.” He paused. “You still did good, though.”

Alluka brightened. “Really?!”

“Mhm. I think you gave me nearly as many bruises as I did to you, this time.”

Alluka beamed and Killua couldn’t stop a smile of his own from spreading across his face. He held out a hand to her and she took it, wobbling only a little as he lifted her up into the air.

“You guys got anything to add?” Killua yelled, not bothering to look over at the pair huddled in the corner.

“Yeah, stop being mean to your sister!”

Alluka giggled as Killua rolled his eyes. “I’m not being mean, I’m using everything I got to my advantage.”

Alluka glanced at him with a smirk. “Does that mean I should bring chocolate next time and bribe you?”

Killua’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare—”

“I dunno, Killua.”

The pair whirled around at the familiar voice. A second later Gon walked into the room, a playful grin gracing his lips, and Killua’s heart stuttered.

“—I think if you can tickle Alluka, chocolate should be fair game,” he finished and Alluka cheered triumphantly.

“See!” she said. _“Gon_ agrees with me!”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Killua asked, exasperated.

“It means you’re outnumbered,” Gon said smartly and leaned an arm on Killua’s sweaty shoulder. Which was a stupid act in and of itself considering that Killua was _taller_ than him.

Killua stepped out of Gon’s arm, pointedly ignoring the pout he got in response. “You don’t decide how to train my sister, Gon.”

Gon held up his hands in surrender but there was a hidden laugh in his eyes. “Whatever you say, Killua. But I do have something useful to add!”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mhm! Alluka,” he said, turning to the other girl. “You need to make your stance better! More firm, kind of? Focus on how you’re positioning your feet and legs and Killua maybe wouldn’t have been able to knock your feet out from under you, you know?”

Alluka’s eyes widened. “Ah! You’re right! I didn’t think of that…”

“That’s why I’m here,” Gon said cheerfully and Killua rolled his eyes.

He opened his mouth—

And a loud buzzing sound filled the air.

Gon immediately tensed, head whipping around for the source, and Killua’s heart shuddered; he knew that sound, knew it better than his own voice.

And sure enough, there were Alluka’s hands jumping up to touch the pink beads in her hair.

She gasped as the two men stared at her. “Oh! Sorry, um, that’s—that’s me. I’ll just—just go—”

She turned on her heel ran. Gon gaped after her, then turned back to Killua, dumbfounded. “What was that all about?”

Killua shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out when she gets back,” he said and shoved his hands into his pockets.

He was grateful to Gon for Alluka’s protection, really. But that didn’t mean he trusted Gon enough to spill all his and Alluka’s secrets to him. No one had ever gotten that close to the two Zoldyck siblings, and it wasn’t like this partnership between them and Gon’s group was gonna last much longer anyway.

“Oh.” Gon brightened. “Okay! Do you want a snack in the meantime, then? I just bought some food back from downtown.”

“We would love some!” Monta’s loud voiced boomed from the corner. Killua grinned widely as Gon’s cheeks darkened.

“I meant for _Killua,_ guys—” he started to groan and something fluttered in Killua’s chest, light and giddy.

“Oh, I see, so we’re not good enough for basic necessities—”

“He’s forgotten all about us—”

Killua started laughing before he could help himself. Gon was quick to snag his wrist and tug him towards the nearest door, the tips of ears burning scarlet in embarrassment. Killua didn’t bother resisting; he was all too used to Gon dragging him along by now, and he was too distracted from laughing uncontrollably to put up much of a fight anyway.

Nearly a week had passed since Killua and Alluka had moved in with Gon’s gang at what seemed to be an old factory near the Boardwalk and river that passed through Masadora. There wasn’t a lot of room in the abandoned building, just a few mostly empty bedrooms with mattresses and the wide, echoing space on the first floor where Killua and Alluka had just been sparring. But it was just enough for Gon’s gang to have a base to come back to after doing whatever the hell they did during the day.

Killua and Alluka, on the other hand, were helping Gon as they promised. But tracking down information regarding the ANTS’ Hunter Extermination took time—a _lot_ of time. The government had destroyed or covered up pretty much everything to do with the operation since the it ended.

That didn’t mean Killua and Alluka couldn’t find the information Gon wanted, of course, just that it was a pain in the ass to do so. But as long as they were searching for that information, they had Gon’s protection; Killua could still send Alluka to school, and he could continue his own online courses with his computer in Gon’s room while she was away.

Gon’s room, because while Gon’s gang apparently had a lot of space, there wasn’t _quite_ enough of it for Killua to do whatever he wanted, wherever he wanted.

“I am not sharing a room with you,” Killua had told Gon that first night, so completely and totally horrified by what Gon initially suggested that he remained rooted to the floor.

“You’re being silly, Killua,” Gon said reasonably back. “You need to stay somewhere!”

“Not with you, I don’t!” Killua retorted shrilly. “If you think I’m sleeping with you, you’re crazy!”

Sharing a room with Gon meant sharing a bed with Gon, changing clothes with Gon in plain sight, breathing the same air and barely going a minute without thinking of him—it meant being surrounded by Gon 24/7 and possibly developing some kind of fondness for him beyond the physical attraction Killua already felt. And that was the _last_ thing in the world that Killua needed right now!

He had to take care of Alluka. Caring for anyone else in the smallest way put her in danger, and he couldn’t afford that. Not now, not ever.

But Gon only grinned, a sly glimmer in those gold eyes of his. “I didn’t think that at all. I was _actually_ saying that you and _Alluka_ should share a room. If you guys have any valuables you can keep them locked up and secure in my room during the day, and that might make you guys feel more comfortable and safe with this whole situation.”

He paused. “But, I _do_ think it’s kind of funny that your misunderstanding immediately led you to thinking of us sleeping together.”

Killua snarled, face blazing red. _“Gon_ _—!”_

“I’m just saying!”

Despite the mortifying mixup, the setup really wasn’t half as bad as Killua initially thought. Gon did as he promised, leaving Killua alone to do his schoolwork for most of the day and only popping his head in once or twice to offer a smile and a wave. More often than not, he would come in with food for them to eat together and had chatted with Killua about mindless things until they both finished.

It wasn’t a lot, but Killua could begrudgingly admit that company was kind of...nice? Gon was still an idiot and a danger but Killua owed him in more ways than one. He saved Alluka, had given them a place to stay.

Killua cheeks warmed. He didn’t like it, knowing that he had become used to Gon’s presence. Even with all the charming smiles and easy conversations, Gon was still the same person that Killua had met a year ago bleeding out on the train. Nothing could change that.

But that fact was becoming harder and harder for him to remember with every day that passed.

“Tah-dah!” Gon said with a flourish, dropping Killua’s hand and waving his arms. Killua felt his lips twitch despite himself, then looked out at where Gon had led him to.  

His jaw dropped. The sight in front of him was beautiful—the wide, cavern-like opening in the side of the building gave a perfectly clear view of red sunset skies above them, as well as the entirety of Masadora spread out below them. Lights were starting to twinkle into existence as he gaped, flickering and bright in the shadows. The contrast of beauty in the sky and city was awesome in the literal sense and for a few long moments, Killua could only gawk in awe.

“Pretty, right?” Gon asked quietly and Killua tore his eyes away from the sight to look at the male standing beside him. Gon was smiling at him gently, freckled face half painted on contrasting colors of gold and pink, and Killua’s breath caught in his throat.

It was totally unfair how Gon was able to render him speechless with a single glance.

“Y-Yeah,” he stammered. His chest felt strangely tight and full at the same time. “It’s...it’s beautiful.”

Gon’s grin widened. “C'mon,” he said and took Killua’s hand again.

He tugged Killua forward until they reached the edge of the building landing. Gon gestured for Killua to sit down and Killua did as he was told, expecting Gon to join him. Gon, however, liked to keep him surprised and instead dropped Killua’s hand completely.

Killua stared after Gon as the other darted over to the concrete wall without explanation. What the hell was Gon doing now? He was about to open his mouth to ask just that when he noticed Gon reaching for a small trap door in wall.

Killua shut his mouth, frowning. Was that a service elevator? But, why would—

Suddenly, the rich, delicious smell of chocolate filled the air. Killua’s mouth started to water and Gon triumphantly pulled out a familiar-looking chocolate cake from the service elevator.

Killua’s jaw dropped. He recognized that cake—it was the one from the diner’s menu that Gon had ordered last week.

“You,” he started, stunned. “You got the cake. From the diner.”

“Yep!” Gon said proudly and set the tantalizing dessert between them. “I was thinking about how we never actually got to taste it, since we had to leave right away to go save Alluka. But I still wanted to eat it with you so I decided to go get it myself and bring it back for us! What do you think?”

Killua gazed longingly at the cake. He thought it looked even better in person than it had on the menu, that’s what. And if it tasted even _half_ as good as it looked…

“Excited?” Gon teased as he sat down, honey-brown eyes sparkling.

Killu forced himself to close his mouth. “Shut up,” he grumbled and Gon snickered. Much to his dismay, pointing a gun at Gon’s face had done nothing to curb Gon’s enjoyment of poking fun at him in the following week.

“Are you sure you don’t want to share this with your gang?” he asked. _Please say no,_ he inwardly prayed, _please say no, please say no—_

Gon shook his head stubbornly. “Nope! This is the cake I bought for us all those days ago, so _we’re_ the ones who are gonna eat it now.”

He held out a chipped, metal fork to Killua with a grin. Killua only hesitated for the slightest pause before taking the utensil offered to him. Their fingers brushed—Gon’s skin warm and golden in the rays of the setting sun—and Killua saw Gon’s lips curve at the contact.

Killua’s skin grew warm. “D-Do you have plates or something?” he snapped to cover his self-consciousness. “You can’t expect me to eat this out of my hand.”

“No,” Gon laughed. “Just eat it one bite at a time! Watch—” Gon plunged his fork into a corner of the cake. The cake had so many layers that half the fork disappeared into its rich center, and when Gon shaved a piece off, chocolate icing oozed over the edges.

“See? No problem eating it like this! Oh, and they’re Kite’s, by the way.” Gon must have spotted the confusion on Killua’s face, for he quickly swallowed his bite of cake before rushing to say, “The others, I mean. You said they were my gang just now, but they’re not mine. Not really.”

“They follow your orders, Gon,” Killua said before stabbing the cake mercilessly and with great satisfaction.

His mouth watered before he could even lift his piece to his mouth; the cake looked absolutely incredible. He took a bite and melted at the taste. His eyes shut of their own accord and he just barely held back a groan. Damn, it was like tasting heaven. He could honestly die happy now after eating this cake.

Distantly, he heard Gon say, “They only follow my orders because we’re working together to find Kite and I have something of a lead. I don’t know what will happen though after all this is over though. Or what to expect.”

Killua refocused on Gon, brow furrowing. “You…don’t want to stay with them? Aren’t these guys your friends, your family?”

Gon shrugged. “We’re friends, but it was Kite who I was really close with. He was my godfather, actually. That’s why he took me in and raised me after Aunt Mito died.” He turned away from Killua to stare out at the sunset, expression darkening ever so slightly. “I was going to leave when I turned eighteen anyway, but then the whole ANTS thing happened and I couldn’t just go when the stakes were so—”

Gon stopped suddenly with a gasp. His entire face lit up, like the sun pulling out from stormy clouds, and Killua raised an eyebrow. “What’s that funny look on your face for?” he asked suspiciously.

“Killua!” Gon said excitedly, practically bouncing even as he sat. “Let’s play a game!”

“…what.”

“A game! You like games, right? Here, c'mon, lets—” he grabbed Killua’s fork out of his hand and pulled Killua to his feet.

“W-Woah, Gon, wait, hold on a second, I don’t think this is—”

A calloused finger pressed to his lips, cutting him off and making his entire face flare red as Gon insisted, “It’ll be fun, I promise! The loser gets the rest of the cake!”

Killua scoffed and pushed Gon’s hand off him roughly. “I thought you said you bought the cake for _me._ Are you taking back your word, Gon?”

“I’ll buy you a brand new cake then!” Gon said, unperturbed. “Whatever size and type you want!”

Killua straightened. Okay, now _that_ was enough to grab his attention.

“Don’t go make promises you can’t keep, Gon,” Killua warned, eyeing Gon with new interest, and his companion smirked.

“I don’t,” Gon said smugly. “But you’ll have to beat me first to make me keep the promise, won’t you?”

Killua’s eyes narrowed into thin, dangerous slits. If Gon really thought it was going to be that easy to defeat him, he had another thing or two to learn.

“You’re on,” Killua growled and Gon’s smile grew, golden irises sparkling. “What kind of game am I gonna kick your ass in?”

“Sparring, of course!”

Killua blinked, caught off guard. “Wha—are you serious?”

“Yeah!” Gon bounced back and forth on his feet, taking a few practice punches. “I wanna see just how good you really are.”

“You’re going to die,” Killua said flatly. “You’re going to die, and then whine about it for the next week and a half like the little kid you are. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into with this, Gon!”

“And neither do you! At least I’ve seen you fight with Alluka!”

“That was with _Alluka!_ You haven’t really seen what I can do—”

“You don’t know what I can do, either! Trust me, Killua, I can handle anything you throw at me!”

Killua huffed and shook his head. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when I have you begging for mercy.”

“We’ll see just who’s begging who at the end of this,” Gon said and Killua’s heart skipped a beat before starting to race in a mix of excitement and anticipation.

“You sure are confident,” he growled. He started circling Gon slowly, making sure to keep his eyes trained on Gon’s well-toned, muscular figure.

He was going to get that cake if it was the last thing he ever did, dammit.

Gon’s lips twitched. “So are you. But I bet _I’ll_ be the one to land the first hit, Ki-llu-a~”

Killua lunged.

He moved quick, arm a blur as he aimed his knuckles at Gon’s face. But Gon was fast too; he twisted away, his smug grin still in perfectly place, and jumped neatly over Killua’s sweeping leg. Killua didn’t wait for him to land before surging up and slamming the heel of his hand into Gon’s jaw.

But his hand swung straight through air. Gon had bent himself backwards just in time, Killua’s arm flying less than an inch away from his face.

Something—an elbow, Killua realized half a second too late—slammed itself into Killua’s chest. He stumbled, catching himself from falling last second with a low curse. His head snapped up to glare at Gon and his chest heaved with the effort to catch his breath. Gon didn’t do anything to counter, just kept on smiling and flitting side-to-side.

“Was that too hard for you?” he asked innocently and Killua clenched his jaw to fight against a surge of anger.

That hit had pushed the air straight out of his lungs. The skin on his chest stung from it, and there were going to be bruises maring his skin tomorrow morning for sure.

Gon really wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t holding back, huh? Good. That meant Killua didn’t have to worry about holding back, either.

Killua stood up straight, lifting his nose into the air. He ignored the twinge of pain from Gon’s hit as he said, “No way, stuuuupid. That was just beginners luck.”

The edges of Gon’s mouth twitched. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He crouched down low, legs bending smoothly under him. “Just you watch, I’ll singe that green dye right off your spikes with this next move.”

Gon snickered. “You can try! But I’ve been dying my hair for a while now, you’ll have a hard time doing that.”

“What, did you learn from a professional or something?” Killua asked, trying in vain to divert Gon’s attention. He faked a strike at Gon’s ribs, managed to knock off a flurry of well-aimed fists Gon directed at his face, and had to fly backwards again before Gon’s boot knocked his knees out and sent him sprawling to the floor.

“You could— _ahh_ —say that,” Gon panted, still beaming brightly much to Killua’s chargin. “Kite taught me! He took me to the store and helped me pick out what color I wanted and walked me through the whole process from start to finish! Did someone teach you?”

Killua stopped short, lungs still shuddering in an effort to catch his breath. “I, uh…w-what?”

Gon, also breathing heavy, straightened with a frown. “Who taught you? To dye your hair, I mean.”

The question was so unexpected, so random, that Killua almost burst into laughter. He managed to hold it in, if just barely, and only ended up snickering between ragged breaths.

“What? What’s so funny?” Gon asked.

“N-No one taught me?” Killua shook his head and rested his hands on his hips. “My hair isn’t dyed like yours, idiot.”

Gon’s jaw dropped. “That’s your _real_ hair color? It’s naturally silver?!”

Killua nodded exaggeratedly and Gon gasped, eyes lighting up.

“Killua, that’s—that’s amazing!”

A hot flush blossomed across Killua’s cheeks, prickling and burning and _embarrassing._ He quickly looked away from Gon’s awed expression before the other could see his blush. Silently, he cursed himself for his light skin. He couldn’t _believe_ — “S-Stupid, it’s not amazing or anything, it’s just hair…”

“But it’s so cool and pretty looking!” Gon gushed. “Hey, can I—can I touch it?”

Killua’s heart lurched. “Touch what?!”

“Your hair! It looks so pretty and soft and you say it’s not dyed, so—”

“It’s _not!_ ” Killua hissed and jumped back as Gon took a step forward. “Hey, no! I didn’t give you permission!”

Gon stuck out his tongue. “C'mon, Killua, please? I just wanna pet it.”

“I’m not a dog, Gon!”

“I never said that! You’re more of a cat, if anything…”

Killua rolled his eyes. “That is so not that point here.” Gon simply pouted at that and Killua caved. “Okay, listen, if you land another hit on me, I’ll let you touch me hair, okay? But _only_ if you land a hit on me within the next five minutes. Otherwise, you’re out of luck.”

Gon’s lips split into a grin. “Is that a challenge?”

“I thought this already was,” Killua retorted and Gon threw his head back in a laugh.

Something in Killua’s chest tightened at the joyful sound and his heartbeat started to climb. He didn’t have time to figure out what exactly his heart was reacting to, though, because a second later Gon was in his face.

Killua ducked. He heard a whoosh of air over his head as he rammed his knee into Gon’s side. The loud _‘OOF_ ’ he got in response brought a rush of savage satisfaction coursing through his veins. He didn’t have a second to celebrate though; he threw himself to the side in his next breath, just missing Gon’s swinging boot. He rolled over a few times on the hard cement before pushing himself back up into a crouch.

Blue eyes met bright brown, hard ice locking on burning gold. Gon smiled dazzlingly, chest heaving, and Killua’s blood roared in his ears. His skin tingled, urging him to continue the fight, and he jumped forward again.

“Can’t you just—” Gon grunted when Killua’s foot collided hard with his shin, _“_ — _let_ me pet your hair? Please?”

“No way! That’d be too easy! And boring! B-Besides, I don’t understand—” he lurched to the right, flying under Gon’s punch, “—why you care—” blocked Gon’s leg swiftly with his own, “—about my hair so much!”

“Because it looks cool!” Gon repeated stubbornly. “And fluffy!”

Killua scoffed. He danced out of Gon’s range, saying, “That’s just dumb, my hair isn’t that weird! It’s just a color! My dad and my grandfather have the same color as me.”

“Alluka doesn’t have it!” Gon argued back. He lunged forward, chasing after Killua just like he always did.

 _“Obviously_ she takes after my mom when it comes to looks,” Killua hissed. “Just like my other three creepy ass siblings!”

He swiftly ducked down and swiped out with his legs. He caught one of Gon’s boots and heard Gon’s surprised yelp as the other man stumbled backwards.

Killua didn’t wait for Gon to regain his footing. Sprinting forward, Killua rammed his palm into Gon’s chest, then his elbow, then his fist. He kept mercilessly attacking his opponent just like Illumi had taught him, but Gon was quick to respond. By another three hits Gon was blocking Killua’s attacks with his arms, even totally fending off some.

It was impressive. _Gon_ in general was impressive and a good match for Killua. Killua could admit that much to himself. But it still wasn’t enough.

Gon blocked Killua’s next hit, just as he has the others, but he _didn’t_ react fast enough to block Killua’s high kick.

_BANG!_

Gon’s back slammed into the concrete wall with enough force to stun him. The impact made a loud echo around the cavern and Gon’s mouth fell open in a wide _‘o’._

It was all too easy after that. Killua darted in, pinning Gon to the wall and forcing one knee between Gon’s legs. They were nose-to-nose, eye-to-eye, breathing the very same air; all Killua could hear was his own ragged breathing to match Gon’s pants, the blood roaring in his ears—

And when Gon finally mustered the energy to open his eyes, Killua found himself staring into two pools of golden brown.

“So,” Gon croaked and Killua blinked. “…four siblings, huh? You must have some pretty crazy dinners back home.”

Killua nearly groaned out loud. Because of course _that’s_ what Gon got out of all of this. He didn’t even know why he was still surprised.

 _“Yes,”_ Killua growled and pressed his arm on Gon’s windpipe until the other grimaced. “I have four siblings, including Alluka.”

“And wh-which one does that m-make you?”

“The middle child.” Killua shook his head. “And I hope you’re lucky enough to never meet the others. It’s bad enough you’ve met me.”

Gon cracked a smile. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Heat pooled in Killua’s cheeks. He shook his head, ignoring the betraying stutter of his heart. “You say that _now_ —”

“And I’ll say it again in a week, and in a month, and in a year from now, too!” Gon said stubbornly and started to strain in earnest against Killua’s hold. Killua had to quickly adjust his footing to keep Gon in place as Gon continued to blurt out, “I’m glad I met you, Killua! Nothing anyone can say or do will ever change that.”

Killua stopped moving, and stared. The uncomfortable warmth in his cheeks was spreading rapidly—it filled his chest, then his lungs, chased through his veins until it reached his toes and even the tips of his fingers. More than anything though, Gon’s words brought back that strange, unsteady feeling; Gon said his thoughts so plainly, so simply and with such overwhelming honesty, that it left Killua reeling.

 _Especially_ when Gon was talking about _him._

 _Who_ was _this guy?_ Killua thought, eyes bulging. _How could he say things like that so freely and without care? Was Gon Freecss even a real person?!_

“Th-That doesn’t matter—” Killua managed to stammer out, “—my family, they.” He swallowed thickly, throat constricting. “They…”

In his mind’s eye he saw the Zoldycks: his father’s impassive and icy gaze, his mother’s claws and sharp smile, Illumi’s Needles, Grandfather’s heavy, oppressive silence, Milluki’s taunts—

His sisters, the sole source of light in an endless dark hole. That light had been snuffed out once before, and while Killua had done nothing back then, he had sworn to himself to never to let it happen again. Not as long as he was still alive and able to fight back.

But here he was, messing around with a Hunter and putting them both in danger _again_. How easy would it be for his parents to drag him and Alluka back to that hell hole they called home? To slaughter Gon and the rest of his friends in the process?

“Killua?” Gon asked quietly and Killua grit his teeth.

“You don’t know,” Killua said lowly. “You don’t know what you’re getting into with this, Gon. For your own safety, _stop prying._ Stop asking questions.”

Gon huffed. “I can handle myself—”

 _“Not—”_ Killua slammed Gon back against the wall, “—with this, you can’t!!! For _once,_ listen to me, dammit! There will eventually be a point where you won’t be able to turn back!”

There was a pause. Killua stared into Gon’s eyes, lungs shuddering, and Gon stared back.

Finally, Gon whispered, “Don’t you think it should be _my_ decision about what risks to take?”

Killua snarled, “Gon—”

“Killua,” Gon interrupted. “I won’t push you to tell me anything you don’t offer yourself. You were the one to tell me about your family just now, not me. But—” he smiled, as if somehow trying to put _Killua’s_ anxiety at ease, “—you’re wrong to think you’re not worth the risk. I was serious last week; I want to get to know you, Killua. I want to spend time with you. And if I have to put my life on the line to do that?” He shrugged awkwardly, back still pressed against the concrete wall. “I’m okay with that.”

“Why?!” Killua asked, dumbfounded. “That’s just—pure idiocy!”

“Because,” Gon said simply. “You amaze me.”

Killua’s jaw dropped. “Wh-What?!”

“You amaze me,” Gon repeated matter-of-factly, like he hadn’t just blurted out the craziest thing Killua had heard from him yet. Like he hadn’t left Killua dumbstruck with three simple words.

“You’re really strong and super brave and incredibly loyal,” Gon continued on. “And—and you’re so _beautiful,_ Killua. Of course you amaze me! So I’m going to do my best to stay with you as long as I can, because even though I might not know a lot about your past just yet, I don’t want to miss a single moment with you.”

Killua gaped, skin tingling and throat tight. _What the—_

“BROTHER!”

Killua jerked at the unexpected shout. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see Alluka sprint into the opening, her pink beads clacking and blue eyes wild with a kind of nervous energy.

Killua sucked in a short breath. She had found something.

“Alluka!” Gon called out loudly and Killua winced—that had been in his _ear,_ dammit!

Alluka slowed, finally coming to a stop a few feet away from the pair. “Um…what’s going on here?”

Killua blinked, then looked back at Gon who returned his stare with two wide, golden eyes. It took all of one second for Killua to realize what his younger sister was seeing; him, pinning Gon against the wall with one of his knees between Gon’s legs, their faces mere inches away and their bodies pressed together…

It clearly painted a less than innocent picture.

A wave of heat crashed over Killua. He leaped backwards, shoving Gon away from him as he said shrilly, “N-Nothing! We were—we were just—” He coughed into his fist, face aflame. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Wh-What’s up?”

Alluka looked skeptically between the two of them—Gon, groaning in a crumpled heap on the floor, and Killua, beat red and tight lipped—but she thankfully didn’t press them any further.

Instead she just said, “Look, I—I don’t know exactly how to say this, but I know there’s no point in holding information since this is a time sensitive thing. And, well.” She sighed. “I think I found someone who can lead us to Kite’s body.”

 

**-o0o-**

 

_Knock knock._

“Come in!” Killua hollored, immediately wincing at the dull pain in his chest. He rubbed the spot where Gon had hit him with a grimace; he was sure Gon hadn’t _actually_ attacked him with his full strength, so the light bruising should heal soon enough. The ache it left behind was just a minor inconvenience in the meantime…

Speaking of which.

A familiar green-spiked head popped into Killua and Alluka’s shared room at Killua’s call, wearing that same bright smile and sparkling gold eyes.

“Oh.” Killua lowered his arm. “Hey, Gon.”

“Hey, Killua.” Gon inched his way across the doorframe. Killua suspiciously eyed the way the other man held his arms behind his back, how he anxiously rocked back and forth on his heels…what was Gon up to now?

“Is it okay if I come in?” Gon chirped. “I brought you something!”

Killua checked his phone. He frowned at the numbers on the digital clock that blinked back at him. “I dunno, Gon. It’s already pretty late, and we’re going to have to get up early tomorrow if we’re gonna make it to Leorio’s—”

“This won’t take that long! I promise!”

Killua looked back over Gon. The other man was already watching him with a bundle of excited but nervous energy—he was practically _buzzing_ with it. Interest prodded at Killua despite himself, and he sighed.

“Yeah, okay,” he said finally and Gon grinned before racing over to the bed. The whole mattress bounced from Gon’s enthusiasm and Killua laughed. “Hey, jeez! Calm down, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know! I just...I really, _really_ wanted to give this to you.”

And with that, Gon pressed a small, circular container into Killua’s palm. It wasn’t anything big or fancy, Killua noted; there was no label, not a single indicator on the metal coating to indicate what exactly was inside.

Curiously, Killua twisted the top and the lid popped off. He wasn’t really sure what to expect; even though he’d only been in Gon’s company for a week, Killua knew there could be anything inside this container from a baby snake to a penny Gon had found on the side of some random road.

Thankfully, the circular container held neither of those things. Instead, inside there was a generous amount of vanilla colored cream.

“What....” Killua’s brow furrowed. He dipped his finger in and rubbed the cream between it and his thumb. “What _is_ this, Gon? It doesn’t have a scent or—or literally any kind of namable quality that I can name.”

Gon beamed. “That’s because I made it! This isn’t something you’d find in any store, Killua.”

Killua blinked. “You _made_ this?” he repeated, genuinely surprised, and Gon bobbed his head vigorously.

“Yeah! It’s something my aunt taught me how to make when we used to live out in the rural parts of the country, and I still have the right ingredients for it and stuff. But, um.”

He leaned over to take the container from Killua’s hands again. Their shoulders brushed as Gon settled back and he rescrewed the container’s cap back on. He peaked shyly at Killua through dark lashes. “This is a healing ointment, Killua. You can apply it onto pretty much anything: rashes, bug bites, small cuts.”

He paused. _“Bruises.”_

Killua inhaled sharply, caught off guard. “H-How did you—?”

“I know my own strength,” Gon said. “And I know for a fact that I hit you hard enough for you to be in at least some kind of discomfort right now. I’m not sure how much discomfort, exactly, but I figured…” He shrugged and held out the container again with a small smile. “This would help no matter what! And it’s better that you use it sooner rather than later, so that’s why I rushed over here so late. Sorry about that. But I really do think this will help!”

Killua numby took the container back. He stared down at his hands, ran his fingers over the container’s edges to avoid looking up and into Gon’s strangely piercing gaze. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Gon right now. If he did, he somehow knew Gon would see right through him and into the flustered-whirlwind of emotions raging inside him.

He had known Gon could be thoughtful, if given the right motivation. He had seen it when Gon checked Alluka over arriving in their apartment last week. Gon had been kind in offering them a place to stay, too. This whole past week he’d been nothing but generous as their host. But that had all be in exchange for something else: for Killua and Alluka’s help. To find Kite.

But this? Killua swallowed thickly, his long fingers curling around the container. There wasn’t anything Gon could directly gain by making this ointment and giving it to Killua. There was no trade here, no profit to be made.

So...why had he done it? Because he actually somehow cared about Killua? Because he thought Killua was _amazing?_

“I would apply this stuff to the area you’re hurting before you go to bed,” Gon said quietly, jerking Killua out of his thoughts. He finally glanced up to see Gon watching him and still—like always—smiling.

Killua let out a long breath and ignored the prickling warmth spreading across his cheeks. “Okay. Sounds good. Do you, uh, need any of this?” He waved the container. “I did a good number on you, too. So...”

Gon laughed. “No, I’m good! I mean, yeah, you really did kick my ass, but I already have my own supply of the ointment. Thanks, though.” He stood up, stretching his arms above his back with a low groan.

“Are you going?” Killua asked and was surprised at himself with the question. He hadn’t realized he was saying it before the words were out of his mouth.

“Yeah,” Gon sighed. “‘S like you said: we have to get up early tomorrow to see Leorio and stuff.” He frowned, eyes glazing over and darkening. “Do you really think your friend will be able to help with Kite?”

“Who, Kurapika?” Killua said and Gon nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure. Me and Alluka’s sources are never wrong, and Kurapika and I go way back. We’ll get to the bottom of this, Gon. I promised, remember?”

Gon nodded again. “Yeah. It’s our deal.”

Killua bit his bottom lip. In a second he was back to that night a week ago: the moonlight on his shoulders, the wind swirling around him and stealing the air out of his lungs…

And Gon. Gon everywhere—his arm around Killua’s waist, his gold eyes shining out through the darkness, their hands grasped so tightly Killua’s fingers ached for hours afterwards.

He let out a long, shaking breath. Their deal to stick together. It might just be Killua’s undoing. _Gon_ might be his undoing. He made Killua’s head spin in dizzy circles on even the best days. Killua still didn’t know what to make of him, even after all this time.

“You know,” Gon said conversationally and Killua glanced up at him. “We didn’t really get to appreciate the sun setting earlier, but if we’re lucky we might get to see the sunrise tomorrow!”

Killua grimaced. “Ugh. No offense, Gon, but I’d really rather die.”

Gon let out a surprised, sputtering laugh. “Wh-What? Why?! Sunrises are even more beautiful than sunsets, sometimes!”

“I’m not a morning person?” Killua said lamely. “And you have to get up super early to see the sunrise, so…”

Gon grinned, a mischievous gleam entering his eyes, and Killua was filled with dread.

“Maybe you just needed the right motivation to get up, Killua,” Gon started, clasping his hands behind his back. “Or, maybe, you just needed to see a sunrise with the right _person.”_

He winked and Killua groaned loudly. He was smiling all the same though—Gon’s teasing had turned from annoying to somewhat ridiculous over the past week, and this was just silly.

 _“Ha,_ you’re funny.” Killua stood up and physically spun Gon around until he was facing the door. He started to push Gon towards the hallway, saying loudly over Gon’s sputtering, “You’re right about one thing, though; if I ever _did_ see a sunrise with anyone ever, they’d have to be something really, really special to get me up before the sun is above that horizon.”

With a final shove, he managed to get Gon across the door frame and into the hallway. He said with a tight smile and a wave, “Thanks again for the ointment! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

He closed the door quickly, then leaned his back against the cold wood. He let out a long sigh and squeezed his eyes shut.

 _Everything would be fine tomorrow,_ he told himself firmly. He had nothing to worry about.

He looked down at his left hand, at the beaded bracelet around his wrist and the smiley-faced ring that glistened in the dull light, before casting his gaze to his bed—to the metal container of Gon’s ointment.

He had everything prepared and ready to go. So why did he feel so anxious?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/4/18  
> Sooooooooooo long time no see...............ahahaha ^^; I'm so sorry about the long wait, it kind of just...happened? February was a busy month I don't really have an excuse. I think the update schedule for this fic is going to be much more random than I thought but I'll try to update it at least once a month??? Once I finish my Big Bang fic I'll be able to update more often! 
> 
> Other than that, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I have a hard time with action but I think this turned out alright in the end ^^ Sketchxhunter on tumblr beta'd this chapter and made the AMAZING ART as always so a big thank you to her <333 I don't know where I'd be without her help~
> 
> [[My tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Edit 3/16/18: just wanted to let any curious readers know that I won't be updating this fic for longer than I thought when I originally posted this chapter......I'm going on a writing hiatus for a few months because my health isn't too good right now and grad school is taking it's toll on me. I still plan to work on this fic in the meantime, I just won't be posting anything new until I'm out of school in May. I might end my hiatus earlier than that but I'm not sure as of right now. Anyway, thank you for reading as always, your comments/kudos/bookmarks mean the world to me <3


	6. Contract of Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hmm." Leorio was studying him carefully again and Killua had to make a conscious effort not to squirm under that studious gaze. He didn’t like it, the way Leorio was looking at him.
> 
> Leorio asked suddenly, “You really trust Gon, huh?”
> 
> A pang of shock jolted through Killua. “I–I trust his _abilities,_ that’s it! He’s strong, okay.” 
> 
> Dammit, he sounded way too defensive right now!

“I still don’t understand why you two need to borrow my car—” Leorio started angrily.

“Yeah!” Gon cut in and Killua bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself calm. “Why can’t we just use my motorcycle to get to this Kurapika guy’s place?”

“I already explained this to you last night,” Killua growled. “We _can’t_ use your motorcycle; Kurapika lives in the next country over, this drive is going to take us all day! And I’m not about to cling to your back for seven and a half hours until all my fingers go numb!”

“I can think of a few things I could do to keep you warm,” Gon countered, wiggling his eyebrows, and Killua almost socked him in his cheerful, freckled face. It was too goddamn early for Gon and his stupidly blunt flirtations—

“Okay you two, relax. Damn.” Leorio shook his head. “I didn’t know I was dealing with two children, today.”

 _“Gon_ is the only child here!”

“No, I’m not! I’m twenty years old!”

“No way,” Killua said, horror seizing his heart. “Are you seriously saying you’re older than me?!”

Gon blinked. Then his expression twisted in delighted glee. “I dunno, am I? When’s your birthday, Ki-llu-a? Mine was a few weeks ago—”

“Hey, hey, time out!” Leorio made a cutting motion with his hands. “You both can discuss who’s older later! I wanna know why you need my car so badly!”

Killua turned back to Leorio with an irritated glare. “I just told you, old man, we need to go see Kurapika! Or are you losing your hearing in your old age?”

A muscle in Leorio’s face twitched. “Watch who you’re calling old, _brat.”_ He poked Killua hard on the forehead and Killua yelped. “Do you want my help or don’t you?”

“I _do,”_ Killua grumbled and rubbed the place where Leorio had jabbed him. “I didn’t think it would take this long to get it, though!”

“It’s my car and my baby, I think I deserve to ask a few questions.”

“You have got to be joking, that thing’s nothing but a pile of junk held together by some screws and oil—”

“Then why don’t you use your own car if it’s that much of an inconvenience for you, huh?!”

“You _know_ why!!!”

Killua’s vicious snarl was met with resounding silence. For a long moment, no one spoke. Second after second ticked by while Killua and Leorio continued to glare murderously at each other, and a thick, palpable tension hanging in the air between them.

Rage simmered under Killua’s skin, coiling through his veins. Leorio knew better than anyone why Killua couldn’t use his own car, why going into enemy territory with something so directly tied to his own name was equivalent to pointing a huge arrow at his forehead for Milluki to trace back to him within seconds! It was something even Killua and Alluka, with all their tricks and careful strategies, couldn’t counter.

That was why they needed Leorio, and it was way too early in the morning for Killua to be awake and playing question games right now!

“So—” Gon started, finally breaking the silence, “—you guys are good friends, huh?”

Killua uncurled his white-knuckled fists and looked away with a _tch._ Leorio let out a short breath.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” he grumbled. _“Someone_ has to take care of this kid.”

Killua’s cheeks grew hot. “I can take care of myself!”

“Sure, and that’s why you’re here, right?” Leorio shook his head. “Save your breath, Killua. Even if you hadn’t…you know, gone out on a limb for me, I’d still do whatever I could for you and Alluka. You’re family.”

Killua wrinkled his nose and ducked his head. Ugh, great. His whole face was on fire now.

“Yeah, well. You’re not so bad yourself,” he mumbled, scuffing his shoe on the floor. He saw Leorio’s chest swell out do the corner of his eye and smiled to himself. They might get on each other’s nerves a lot, but he trusted Leorio. And that alone said a lot.

“Um. I’m sorry, but…I still don’t get it.”

Killua turned to see Gon wrinkling his nose in confusion. “I mean,” the gang leader continued. “I know we need this Kurapika person because he’s in the Mafia and he’s got the information Alluka can’t get through the computers, but—”

“But, what?” Killua asked sharply. He had a bad feeling about where this conversation was going, felt the dread pooling in the base of his stomach like lead. “What else could you possibly need to know?!”

“Let me finish!” Gon puffed out his cheeks. _“But_ the Mafia works all over the globe, right? Why can’t we just ask someone from the Mafia here, in this country? Then we don’t have to bother Leorio about his car, and we won’t have to travel as far…”

Killua stilled, blood turning to ice. He was careful not to look over at Leorio because he knew one glance could give away everything, even without saying a single word.

He heard Leorio cough and the sound came out somewhat strained. “It’s not that simple, kid. There’s only one reining Mafia family per country and everyone else just works under them. The reining families share resources under occasion but it’s not that common of a thing.”

Gon deflated. “Oh. So, then, the Mafia family here might not have what we need?”

“Exactly,” Killua said, voice ten times calmer than he felt. “And besides, _Kurapika_ is the only Mafia connection I have as of right now. There’s no point in talking to anyone else.”

“So, what do you say?” he abruptly asked Leorio to change the topic of conversation. He shoved his hands deep into the front pockets of his jeans. “Can we borrow the car, or can’t we?”

Leorio hesitated. He looked between them—Gon, wide eyed and entirely too innocent looking, and Killua, exhausted and irritated—before finally sighing.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he grumbled. “You just better not hurt my baby....”

Killua turned to Gon with a grin, only to find Gon already looking back at him with the same delighted beam on his face. He felt his skin warm as Gon’s glimmering brown-gold eyes locked on his face and stayed there, refusing to break their shared gaze. He only distantly noted Leorio walking over to his kitchen counter over the heavy _thud-thud_ -ing of his heart.

“Make sure to get her back to me in one piece, yeah?” Leorio said and Killua forcibly tore his eyes away from Gon’s. Leorio was making his way back to where they stood in his apartment entrance, fiddling for something in his wallet.

He eventually managed to fish out his keys and tossed them to Gon. Gon caught them one-handedly without flinching.

“Go to the parking garage on the street corner,” Leorio told him with a jerk of his head. “The keys should help you find my car once you get inside.”

Gon nodded, then glanced at Killua expectantly.

He said quickly, “You go get the car. I want to talk to Leorio for a bit before we go.”

“Oh…okay.” Gon wilted a bit at that, sounding put out.

Killua rolled his eyes and nudged Gon in the side. “Don’t sound so sad, jeez!” he laughed lightly. “I’m not going anywhere, stupid. I’ll still be here when you get back.”

“I know that!” Gon stuck his tongue out, but the childish action did nothing to hide the blush darkening cheeks. Killua just grinned, eyebrows shooting upwards. He couldn’t help but find it funny how much Gon acted like a little kid sometimes.

He continued to watch Gon with amusement as his partner jerked open the front door and stomped down the front steps of Leorio’s apartment. He kept his gaze pointedly trained on Gon’s green spikes, ignoring the heavy weight of Leorio’s gaze digging into the side of his face.

Just like he was ignoring the steady warmth creeping across his cheeks.

“Oh!” Gon turned around on the last step and called back at them, “It was nice to see you again, Mister Leorio! Thanks for the help!”

“It’s just Leorio!” the older man hollered after Gon. “I’m only a few years older than you, dammit!”

He leaned against the doorframe with an angry huff. Together, he and Killua tracked Gon’s progress as he jogged down the street.

“Never thought I’d see that kid again,” Leorio admitted and folded his arms.

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”

“Hmph. _I_ could have said that a year ago the way you dumped him on my doorstep then bolted for the hills….you do know what all this means, though, right?”

Killua tensed. “What all _what_ means?”

“This.” Leorio made a general sweeping gesture with his hands. “You and him, going to see Kurapika. You won’t be able to hide your connections to the Mafia from Gon like how you did just now. You’re going to have to tell him the truth.”

Killua grimaced. “I—yeah.” He rubbed his forehead, the wrinkles there. “I know. I knew that the second Alluka mentioned Kurapika’s name.”

Leorio stared at him critically. “And are you ready to tell him? You didn’t look like it just now.”

Killua felt a muscle in his face twitch. “What are you, my therapist?” he snapped. “I’ll tell him when I’m ready, okay? I just couldn’t tell him _there,_ that’s all. I’ll tell him soon, jeez.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. No need to yell. I was just acting like the concerned, _kind_ friend I am. What’s your relationship with him, anyway?”

“Huh?” Killua glanced at him sharply. “What are you talking about now, you geezer? If you’re just gonna harass me maybe I should’ve just left with Gon to get your car after all—”

“Hey, don’t get all defensive!” Leorio held up his hands in surrender. “I _just think_ it’s kind of strange that this is the second time you’ve shown up here asking for my help with him in tow. You haven’t done that at all since I set you and Alluka up with the apartment two years ago.”

Killua scowled and said shortly, “If you’re asking whether there’s a deeper relationship going on here there isn’t. The only reason Gon showed up is because he wants my help with this very specific…thing. And the only reason _I’m_ helping is because he can keep me and Alluka off Illumi’s trail for a while.”

Leorio visibly paled. “I-Illumi’s here?!”

Killua shrugged, trying not to appear as sick as the horrible knot of dread in his gut made him feel. “Seems like it. Got a handwritten note from him confirming he knew where we were, at least.”

“Shit. That’s…” Leorio shook his head. “Killua, that’s bad.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“And Alluka? Is she safe?”

“For now, yeah. She’s staying with Gon’s gang while we pay this visit to Kurapika.”

“You don’t think you should’ve taken her with you?”

Killua scoffed. _“No._ You think I would ever risk taking Alluka into Mafia-infested lands? To a place that’s so directly connected to our family that she could be dragged back to home within a few hours of being recognized?” He shook his head, nostrils flaring. “I don’t think so. She’s safer where she is for now…”

“But _you’re_ going,” Leorio pointed out and Killua rolled his eyes.

“I’ll risk my own safety, sure, but never Alluka’s. And, besides, I’m not totally alone; I have Gon.”

“Hmm.” Leorio was studying him carefully again and Killua had to make a conscious effort not to squirm under that studious gaze. He didn’t like it, the way Leorio was looking at him.

Leorio asked suddenly, “You really trust him, huh?”

A pang of shock jolted through Killua. “I–I trust his _abilities,_ that’s it! He’s strong, okay.” Dammit, he sounded way too defensive right now—

“Uh-huh. Sure. And then what was with the whole—” he nudged Killua’s side, like Killua had done to Gon just a few minutes ago, and Killua flushed hotly.

“Th-That was nothing!” he stammered. He waved a hand in the air, as if that would somehow help explain himself. “Just, you know, a bit of harmless teasing; you saw the puppy dog face he was making at me!”

“Oh, trust me, I think I’d have to be _blind_ to miss the way that guy was looking at you,” Leorio said and Killua bristled. He opened his mouth in a snarl—

“Hell, I thought _something_ might’ve changed over the past year, but apparently not.”

Killua froze. “W-Wait…what?”

“Nothing, I’m just thought a year passing would’ve changed the way Gon looked at you but.” Leorio shrugged. “He still looks at you like the way _you_ look at _chocolate_. And that’s saying something.”

Killua suddenly felt warm all over. “You—you mean, Gon was interested in me _a year ago?_ All the way back when we first met?!”

Leorio quirked an eyebrow. “That’s what it looked like to me. Did you seriously not notice? He never shut up about you the entire time I was stitching him up. Wanted to know everything about you—not that I said anything, of course, but—”

“W-Why didn’t you tell me?!” Killua sputtered out, mind racing

He wasn’t expecting this. Meeting Gon had been a whirlwind of activity; he was too terrified back then to see Gon as anything more than a threat to his and Alluka’s carefully crafted life, so that’s how he treated him. He took care of Gon, washed his hands of the whole situation and walked away, determined to never think of the bleeding man ever again.

But, according to Leorio, _Gon_ had thought of _him._

Distantly, he heard Leorio’s complaining start up again. He refocused just in time to hear him say, “You never wanted to hear about it! Every time I tried to bring Gon up you always shrieked your head off at me!”

Leorio let out an irritated huff. But then his expression shifted and changed, morphing into a sly smirk. Killua glowered at him. What the hell was he thinking about now?

“But maybe that’s all in the past,” Leorio said in a sing-song voice. “After all, it looks like there’s been some recent _developments.”_

Killua’s shoulders jerked upwards. Bristing, he hissed venomously, _“You—!”_

“Don’t get mad at me, kid! I’m just calling it as I see it, okay? I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve seen you get this flustered, and I’ve known you longer than most.”

Killua looked away furiously. His body felt hot all over. He didn’t even know _why_ he was reacting like this; it was dumb and stupid and none of this even mattered. His so-called ‘feelings’ for Gon were nothing short of basic tolerance moving onto acquaintanceship, and that was if he was being generous.

His nails dug into his palms hard enough to draw blood as he ground out, “We only met a week ago. There _can’t_ be anything.”

“Attachments have formed in less time,” Leorio said wisely. “Love is spontaneous. You can’t always control what you do or don’t feel.”

Killua’s head snapped up. Leorio’s eyes softened, filling with a kind of dull pain. He asked, voice strained, “Say hello to him for me, will you?”

Killua swallowed thickly as the anger drained out of him. There was only one person Leorio could be talking about: a person with shoulder-length blonde hair, and piercing but exhausted gray eyes.

Kurapika always looked so tired whenever Killua had talked to him. But he came to life around Leorio.

Killua answered, heart twisting, “Of course.”

“And Alluka, once you get back. Haven’t seen her in a while either.”

Killua felt a sharp stab of guilt. “I-I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to—”

“Killua.” Two warm, sturdy hands gripped Killua’s shoulders, steadying him. Leorio smiled down at him and there was nothing but genuine fondness shining in his brown eyes.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said softly, giving Killua’s shoulders a squeeze. “Alright? Visit when you have the time. When you’re safe. That’s all that matters to me—and to Kurapika, I know. He will help you with whatever this all is. And when you’re done we’ll figure something out to get you and Alluka  out of this mess again.”

Killua’s eyes prickled. He sucked in an unsteady breath and reached up to grip one of Leorio’s hands, nodding. He couldn’t properly express what Leorio’s support meant to him. It went beyond words.

The sound of a car pulling in front of Leorio’s apartment broke the moment. Killua turned to see Leorio’s older car with Gon in the front seat, his usual sunny beam in place.

“Killua!” he called happily through the open window and Killua’s chest lightened somehow at the simple call of his own name. “I found it, I found the car! We can go, now!”

“Guess you better get going,” Leorio said. “He’ll wake up the whole neighborhood if he keeps hollering like that.”

“Yeah.” Killua faced him one last time and bit his bottom lip. “Uh, listen. Th-Thanks. I promise I’ll get her back to you in one piece and everything—”

 _“You_ are much more important to me than any car, kid.” Leorio ruffled his hair and Killua squawked. “Get yourself in and out of Yorbia safely, first and foremost. Got it?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Killua grumbled as he tried in in vain to comb his hair back in place with his fingers. He was going to have to spend another fifteen minutes messing around with it now thanks to Leorio’s intervention—

“I’m glad he’s with you.”

Killua jolted at the unexpected statement, his fingers caught on a stray knot. “H-Huh?” he asked and voice squeaked.

“I’m glad Gon is going with you,” Leorio repeated with a satisfied nod. “I can tell he’ll take care of you. Make sure you two stick together, and tell him if anything happens to you—anything at all!—he’ll have me to answer to!”

Killua’s face flushed in horrified mortification. “Holy shit, please never say that again; you are _not_ my dad, Leorio!”

“I should be! I would do a better job than that asshole!”

Killua burst into startled laughter. He didn’t know what to say to that, other than— “You’re right,” he said, grinning, and gave Leorio a fist-bump. He began to edge out the door. “Thanks again, man. I really owe you for this.”

“Thank me when you’re back and safe!”

Killua waved a hand in acknowledgement and finally turned on his heel to face the street. He ran down the final steps of Leorio’s apartment, to where Gon was waiting for him in the car. Gon reached over and pushed open the passages side door just in time for Killua to slip in.

“Ready to go?” Gon asked, beaming, as Killua slammed the door shut behind him.

Killua nodded, breathless. “Yeah. Let’s get this show on the road.”

 

**-o0o-**

 

“So…”

Killua looked up from the map, half a piece of chocolate sticking out of his mouth. Gon was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove, a slight pucker in his brow.

Killua quickly chewed the rest of the chocolate piece and swallowed. “What?” he asked when he could finally talk. “You can’t just say something like that then not follow up, Gon.”

“Eh, it’s nothing big!”

“I don’t care, I’m involved now. Spill.”

Gon’s lips twitched, like he was trying not to smile and failing. “Mm, well, I was wondering…how do Leorio and this Kurapika guy know each other? It seemed like you three had all been friends at some point the way you were talking back at Leorio’s apartment.”

Killua raised his eyebrows. Of all the questions he was expecting Gon to ask, that one had certainly not been high on the list. But then again, Gon rarely did _anything_ on Killua’s list of ‘expected Gon things’…

“They were a thing,” Killua said shortly, letting his eyes drop back down to the map.

“A-A thing?”

Killua snorted at Gon’s tone. “Yep.”

“As in…”

 _“Yes,_ that sort of thing. With a capital ’t’.”

“Oh.” A pause. “What happened?”

Killua looked back up the question, confused. “Huh?”

“You said ‘were’,” Gon said matter-of-factly. “So, what happened? Why did they break up?”

Killua blinked owlishly. He was genuinely surprised Gon noticed that. Not that Gon wasn’t smart, but. Well. He was more observant than Killua gave him credit for, sometimes.

“They…” Killua began, hesitating. How the hell could he explain this? “Kurapika wanted to stay in the Mafia. Leorio wanted out. So, they split.”

Gon’s frown from before returned in full, deepening at the corners. “But, didn’t they love each other?”

“Uh. Yeah? I guess. I mean, they were usually arguing whenever I saw them together, but—”

“If you really love someone, you should stay with them no matter what!” Gon said stubbornly. Killua eyed how Gon’s knuckles whitened under his tightening grip, honey eyes hardening to solid gold as they narrowed in anger. “That’s what love is all about!”

...jeez.

Killua sighed heavily, slumping back in his seat. “It’s not always that simple, Gon.”

“It should be! If you really, really love someone, that’s all that matters in the end!”

“Well.” Killua folded his arms over his chest. “Love actually was the problem, in the end.”

Gon stiffened at that. “W-What?”

“Kurapika is in the Mafia _because_ of love,” Killua explained. “Familial love. He’s in it for revenge against his deceased family and he’ll never leave until he gets it. That love triumphs over everything—even what he and Leorio had. Leorio tried to convince him to leave with him, ‘course but—” he shrugged, “—Kurapika naturally refused. So, yeah. You’re right. Love wins, just not always in the way you expect.”

Gon didn’t say anything to that. He stayed quiet, silently absorbing what Killua had said, and Killua studied him in turn.

He let his gaze wander over those freckles scattered across broad cheeks like stars, focused honey eyes, the tired lines in Gon’s face softened by dawn. It was still too early for sun to rise yet, but light was starting to creep into the sky ever so slowly, painting the sky and Gon’s bronze skin in a warm glow.

 _Gon was talking about Kite,_ Killua thought to himself. He had to be. Gon’s definition for love was cut from the moments he was fighting for his life and the life of his friends against the ANTS. For Gon, it was all or nothing when it came to love.

For Killua, it was be grateful for what still remained.

“And…you helped him?”

Killua jolted out of his thoughts, face growing hot when he realized he’d been staring at Gon blankly that entire time.

“H-Huh?” he stammered with blazing red cheeks.

“You helped Leorio escape, right?” Gon repeated. He hadn’t noticed Killua’s gwaping since he’d been driving, and Killua couldn’t be more relieved. “That’s what Leorio kept saying. That must be how you two know each other!”

“Y-Yeah? So?” Killua furiously scrubbed at his flushed skin with the heel of one hand. He was only half listening to Gon at this point. He felt hot and prickling all over and he _hated_ it.

But even more so, he hated how simultaneously comfortable and hyper-aware he was of Gon all damn the time. They’d only spent a week of being in each other’s near-constant company, but it was all too easy for Killua to let down his defenses around Gon. To joke and tease and challenge him almost as easily as he did with Alluka.

Even now, he and Gon had been in this rickety old car for at least an hour already, and yet the conversation had flowed easy and smooth, almost as if Killua was talking to Canary or Leorio or Kurapika, himself.

But the instant Killua really _looked_ at Gon…

Another wave of heat crashed over him, accompanied with a strange little lurch in his stomach, and Killua grounded his teeth together.

 _Stupid,_ he snapped at himself. _It’s early and you’re cranky and not fully awake right now. That’s_ all _this is._ _None of these feelings mean_ anything—

“You know…you’re a really good person, Killua.”

Killua’s head whipped around. He stared at Gon, wide-eyed, as the other man smiled softly at the empty road.

“Idiot,” Killua finally said after a small pause. The insult had no bite, and he would have been mad at himself if not for the strange, heavy, twisting inside his chest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I do, though! You helped Leorio, and you saved me last year!” Gon chirped. “I bet you’ve helped a whole bunch of people! And that makes you a good person!”

The heavy feeling was worse now; it was crushing his lungs, making it hard to breathe and get the following words out. He looked down at his lap, at his clasped hands, and blinked rapidly.

He whispered hoarsely, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that if I were you…”

“I am.”

Killua blinked when a warm hand enveloped his, squeezing once. The hand pulled away again before Killua could think to shake it off, and he looked up in time to see Gon leaning back into his seat with his gaze still on the horizon.

Killua’s heart sped up ever so slightly. He didn’t know when Gon had even looked over, or how he had managed to do that while still staying so focused. But—

But it made the crushing feeling lighten, somehow. It was hard _not_ to believe Gon when he spoke with such conviction like that. Even when Killua’s heart seemed dead-set on proving him wrong.

Killua glanced out his window to hide the scarlet tinge his prickling cheeks. As steadily as he could manage, he said, “You and I have very different opinions on what qualifies as a good person, Gon.”

“Hmm. You think?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Why’s that?”

Killua rolled his eyes at fields of grass flying past them. _“Because._ You’re this—this bubbling ray of sunshine—”

“I’ve seen my fair share horrors, Killua. Don’t forget that.”

Killua stiffened at Gon’s tone. He twisted back around; Gon’s face was carved from stone now, lips pressed into a thin line.

“I never said you hadn’t,” Killua said after a pause.

“I know.” Gon shot him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes before turning back to the road. “But I know that’s what you were thinking. Besides, it’s not what you’ve seen or done, I think. What makes you a good person is how you react to whatever life has handed you. It’s how you respond.”

Killua snorted bitterly. “Then that still makes me a bad person in your books.”

Gon’s expression became confused. “How? You’ve never done anything wrong or bad that I can see. Not _ever!”_

This was it: the moment of truth. Killua heard Alluka’s voice echoing in his head—

_“This agreement, between us and Gon?” she said, sitting cross-legged on their shared bed just minutes before he left for his trip with Gon. “It’s a contract of trust, Brother.”_

_Killua wrinkled his nose. “Trust, huh?”_

_She bobbed her head. “Mhm! Trust! Think about it; Gon didn’t_ have _to tell you all that stuff about Kite. Or anything about his past, right? He could have just said he wanted our help to find Kite’s body. But he didn’t. He told you something personal, something important to him; that night he put his trust in_ you.”

 _Killua leaned back, letting out a long breath. He hadn’t really thought about it like, well,_ that. _He’d just thought…_

_He frowned. He didn’t know what he thought, actually. Gon was an enigma to him—an incredibly frustrating, freckled, and muscular enigma with a smile made from the sun itself, sure, but an enigma all the same. And Killua had lost plenty of hours of sleep trying and failing to pick apart the meaning in the playful glimmer in his eyes and hopeful curve of his lips._

_“So,” Killua started, ignoring the slight warmth on his cheeks that always came from thinking about Gon a little too long. “What you’re saying is, I should trust him? With_ everything?”

 _“No, I’m_ saying _that maybe you should cut him some slack. You don’t have to give him everything at once, and to be honest, you probably shouldn’t tell him everything anyway…”_

_Alluka bit her lip, fingers lingering along a strand of beaded hair she had just tucked behind her ear. The pink smiley-faced beads gleamed in the low light and Killua touched the bracelet on his left wrist out of reflex. The thread and beads were cool under his fingertips, just like always._

_“Just—let your guard down a little,” Alluka said finally and Killua looked up to blue eyes that were so like his own. “It’s a matter of trust, remember? Tell him what you feel you can trust him with, and no more than that.”_

_Killua gripped his left wrist tightly, until the bracelet’s beads dug painfully into his skin. He didn’t flinch at the pain; this was nothing, compared to the heart-stabbing symbolism of the bracelet itself. “And what if I tell him too much?”_

_But Alluka just smiled. “You won’t._ I _trust_ you, _Brother.”_

Back in the car, Killua breathed in deep. Alluka trusted him. And Gon…Gon trusted him, too. Somehow.

But did Killua trust Gon?

“Killua?” Gon asked, a quiet but clear concern woven between the syllables of his name. “Are you okay?”

Killua leaned his head against the back of his seat. He ignored Gon’s question, instead stating flatly, “You know, I envy you, Gon.”

“Huh?” Confusion flooded Gon’s tone. “Wh-Why would you—”

“Your drive to avenge Kite,” Killua said loudly. He waved his hand in the air. “Your 'response’ or whatever you called it. It’s how how you’re reacting to the ANTS Hunter Extermination. That’s how you’re reacting to Kite’s death.”

There was a low, somewhat strained, chuckle from the driver’s seat. “I always thought you believed I was crazy for all of that.”

“Oh, you are. Don’t get me wrong. I think you’re totally insane and gonna get yourself killed one day wrapped up in all this ANTS bullshit. But—” Killua let out a long breath, his bangs flopping against his forehead. There was a tightness in his throat, a twisting in his stomach. He almost didn’t want to voice this confession, but…

But a larger part of him, a strange urging in his heart, _wanted_ him to continue. Wanted him to give in and stop fighting, to surrender to whatever pull Gon seemed to have on him.

(And maybe, if he finally opened up, he would start to understand a fraction of the alien feelings Gon stirred within him)

So he plunged ahead, forcing the words out before he could overthink them:

“—but I think there’s some bravery in that. In refusing to forget the person you lost, and wanting to remember what they meant to you, wanting to take them back in some way from the people that took them away from _you.”_

He paused. “That’s what it is, right? That’s why you want Kite’s body back. Because you don’t want the ANTS to have his final remains after everything they did to him. They don’t _deserve_ that right.”

He finally looked over at Gon. The other man had frozen, hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that Killua could see the whiteness of his bones under taunt skin. Even Gon’s gold gaze was locked and unblinking on the road in front of them with his lips slightly parted in shock.

It took a few seconds, but with a shuddering breath, Gon came back to life. He swallowed thickly and Killua’s eyes automatically darted to where his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat—

“Killua,” Gon whispered hoarsely. His face was very pale, the palest Killua had seen yet. “H-How did you know all of that?”

“Because you’re not the only person who has lost loved ones.”

Gon’s mouth shut with a _snap._ Killua’s heart was heavy as lead now, and there was a burning in the back of his eyes that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times he blinked. But that always happened when he got like this.

Whenever he thought about Nanika.

“That’s why I envy you,” he continued and was proud at the steadiness of his voice. “Because you’re going back. You’re strong enough to do that. You _care enough_ to do that. I—” he blinked rapidly, the world around him starting to blur, “—I w-wasn’t. And I probably won’t ever go back there again, even if I wanted to. I’m not strong like you are.”

Silence fell between them. Killua looked away and raised a shaking hand to his cheek. His skin was dry, thank god. But his eyes still prickled and his throat still felt raw with pain and the gaping hole inside his chest still chanted that same scream from when he was six years old:

 _'it’s all your fault it’s all your fault it’s all your fault she’s_ gone—’

“Is it…” Gon hesitated. Killua didn’t turn around, choosing instead to wait and let Gon speak for once. “Is it okay if I ask you what happened?”

Surprise shot down Killua’s spine. He felt like he’d been slapped in the face. He’d never thought—after saying all of that, after his entire speech and picking Gon’s motives apart and confessing a coded piece of his own past—

He never once thought Gon would ask for his permission for wanting to know more.

He laughed quietly, unable to stop himself. He pressed his hand to his mouth to keep the laughter locked away and his shoulders shook with the effort to keep himself calm.

 _“You,”_ he said breathlessly before flashing a smile at the confused driver. “Really are something, Gon. And yes, you can ask me anything. I don’t think I could stop you if I tried. Whether or not I actually answer is up to me, though.”

“O-Okay.” Gon’s brow furrowed. “Are you sure, Killua? I want to know, but you sound kind of weird—”

“I’m fine.” And he was. Really. He…he trusted Gon. With part of the truth, at least. “You said so yourself, you want to know about my past, right?”

“Um. Right, but I don’t want to force you—”

“You’re not _forcing_ me into anything. You asked, and I’m going to tell you. It’s that simple.” Killua took a deep breath, folded his fingers together in his lap just to have something to do.

To keep them from shaking.

“I told you before that I have four siblings,” Killua began in a murmur. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gon straighten in his seat. “And that is true, but it’s also not. I do have four siblings, but I have another one I didn’t mention to you: a fifth sibling.”

Killua heard Gon suck in a sharp breath. “A fifth sibling? Then, who’s–”

“Her name is Nanika,” Killua cut him off. He kept his gaze locked on the smiley-faced ring on his left pinky as he continued, “She’s Alluka’s twin, and my younger sister. We were inseparable when we were kids.”

“Alluka has a twin?” Gon repeated, sounding dumbfounded. Killua didn’t respond, waiting for the gears in Gon’s brain to click into place, because he knew Gon was smart enough to piece together the scattered hints from the past week their lives had collided and crashed and melded into each other—

Gon gasped suddenly. “Oh! The picture! From your bedroom! The one with you holding Alluka, that’s…that’s not Alluka at all, is it?”

His question ended in an unbearably soft tone. Killua gritted his teeth to stop the painful way his heart twisted and tore.

“No,” he finally choked out. “It’s not.”

There was a small pause. Then—

“Killua,” Gon said quietly, gently, why was Gon being so _gentle—_ “What happened?”

Killua squeezed his eyes shut and breathed out through his nose.

“I don’t know,” he finally whispered. His throat was raw again, burning. Aching for something too long lost and never coming back. “I guess that’s the worst part of it all, not knowing. I _should’ve_ known what was going to happen though; Alluka and Nanika were always brilliant from the moment they were born. Smarter than anyone. They were always inventing stuff when we were kids, you wouldn’t believe some of the things they made if I told you about them. They were true geniuses.”

Killua paused, then shook his head. “But my parents…they didn’t see Alluka and Nanika as anything more than tools. That’s how my family works: everyone is analyzed and valued to the extent that they can push the family forward. The greater their potential, the earlier they must be trained to use it. That’s all that matters.”

“My sisters’ potential was their minds. And my parents wanted that gift, wanted it badly. So, one night we went to sleep like usual, and the next day, they were gone.”

“Just like that?” Gon repeated. His tone was still soft, not at all demanding or harsh. “Without warning or anything?”

“Just like that.” Killua brought his legs to his chest and dropped his head onto his knees, wrapping his arms around his shins.

“God,” he choked out between gritted teeth to fight back the tears. “I wish I—I wish I had been smart enough to know better. But I was still under my parents thumb back then, so I _didn’t._ Who knows what kind of hell Alluka and Nanika went through while they were gone, what horrors my parents forced them to go through or invent just for the sake of advancing our family’s status.”

“Killua,” Gon started. “You can’t blame yourself for something like that, you sound like you were really young when this all happened—”

“Doesn’t matter. None of that matters. All that matters is that two years passed before I saw Alluka again, and by then, it was too late to do anything.”

Gon tensed. “Before you saw Alluka again? But, what about…?”

Killua felt hollow now. His voice was flat and empty when he said, “Alluka came back. Nanika didn’t. She never has, and she never will. She’s gone forever, my parents made sure of that. Alluka’s all I have left now.”

There was another long pause. A beat heavy enough for Killua to know the weight of his words had been felt. He bit his lip, letting his teeth sink into his flesh until the physical pain of his action hurt more than the pounding of his heart.

“…but you still have Alluka.”

Killua’s head snapped up. “What?”

“You still have Alluka,” Gon repeated in that same, steady tone. He turned briefly to smile at Killua and Killua stared back, stunned.

“Wh-What are you going on about now?” he stammered, caught off guard.

Gon looked back to the road. “Your family sounds evil. That’s not something Alluka could’ve escaped from on her own. And yet, she’s here today. How did she manage to survive this long after what happened to Nanika? How is Alluka still here?”

Killua shut his gaping mouth. Pinpricks of heat were starting to crawl across his cheeks. “I…I saved her. I made sure we escaped. I couldn’t let what happen to Nanika happen to her, so I got us out as soon as I could.”

“There you go,” Gon chirped. “See, Killua? You saved her, just like you saved me and Leorio. You saved us all.”

Killua struggled with what to say next, overwhelmed. He was caught between the crushing sadness over his dead sister, the embarrassed but light fluttering in his stomach at Gon’s praise, and frustration, because Gon didn’t understand what he was trying to say. It _wasn’t_ the same thing. Because— “But I couldn’t save _Nanika.”_

“You can’t save everyone. I couldn’t save Kite, either,” Gon said and that shut Killua up. “You said you envy me, but to be honest, _I_ envy _you._ You’re letting your love for Alluka win. You were strong enough to save her, to get her away from your parents. You’re strong enough to protect what’s most important to you.”

Killua’s heart twisted. He never thought about it like that. He always saw himself as weak for failing Nanika, and he knew he always would. But, somehow, Gon didn’t see it that way.

Gon said thoughtfully, “You know, we’re not that different, you and me. You lost Nanika, I lost Kite. We both lost someone important to us. We’re just _dealing_ with that loss in different ways.”

Killua scowled. “Yeah. But you’re going to lose yourself in the path you’re going down,” he snapped.

Gon shrugged. “I never said what I was doing was smart or sane. I’m doing what I think needs to be done. It’s like what you said earlier; those ANTS don’t deserve to keep Kite’s body. I won’t let them.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Killua grumbled and Gon hummed.

“In theory, it is! In practice, not so much. But that’s why I have you.”

Heat flared in Killua’s cheeks. An abrupt surge of happiness rose inside him at Gon’s words, even though he knew how dumb it was. Gon was using him. That was all this was. He didn’t need Killua for any reason besides this crazy mission of his, and then it was goodbye forever.

Killua looked out the window, eyes stinging. He kept his gaze firmly locked on the ever brightening horizon as he said, “Yeah, well. It’s not really _me_ you need. Alluka’s the one doing most of the heavy lifting here, digging through data on the computers and everything.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Gon said softly and the hairs on the back of Killua’s neck rose. _“You’re_ the one with me right now, aren’t you?”

Killua’s head whipped around.

Gon was staring ahead at the road, just like always, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Like he hadn’t just whispered something that made Killua’s breath catch in his throat, and his skin tingle with electricity.

The only hint that he’d been looking at Killua at all, in fact, was the slight curve of those perfect lips into a smirk, and the loud, rapid pounding of Killua’s heart against his ribcage.

Gon gasped suddenly. “Oh! Killua, look—”

Before Killua could speak, Gon swiftly pulled the car over to the side of the road. He turned off the engine, scrambled out of his seat, and was pulling open Killua’s door in record time.

“G-Gon?!” Killua yelped as Gon tugged him onto the grass by his wrist. He stumbled to get his footing while Gon half-yanked him up a hill and away from Leorio’s car. His clumsiness didn’t help rid the still-scarlet tinge of his cheeks from Gon’s suggestive commentary only minutes earlier, and he gritted his teeth in frustration.

 _“Hey!”_ he yelled at Gon’s back. “Gon, slow down a second! Where are we going?!”

“Just a few more steps, Killua! Then you’ll see, I promise!”

He pulled Killua forward again. They finally made it to the top of the hill and Killua shivered as a small gust of wind hit his face. He closed his eyes with a wince, turning away slightly. It was only after the wind had passed that he was able to hesitantly squint out at the sight in front of him.

Killua sucked in a sharp breath, eyes flying open wide.

Just like with the sunset Gon had shown him only yesterday, this morning’s sunrise was breathtaking in every sense of the word. Dark reds and bright yellows outlined the sun as it started to cross the horizon and rise into the sky, bringing with it light and warmth. The clouds hanging low in the atmosphere turned from shocking pink to a soft purple, just as the sky itself was slowly giving way to a natural but soft blue.

“See?”

Killua blinked out of his reverence. He turned to see Gon beaming happily at him.

“I told you sunrises were just as beautiful as sunsets!” he said proudly. He squeezed their still-interlocked hands and Killua’s heart jumped into his throat at the feel of Gon’s fingers curled around his.

Quickly, he looked back at the view to hide his flushed face. “Y-Yeah, you did…”

 _And I said if I ever saw a sunrise with anyone,_ Killua thought, mouth dry and skin tingling where Gon touched him, _they’d have to be something really special._

So…what exactly did that say about Gon?

Killua didn’t know. He never thought about the sunrise as anything more than having to be awake too many hours too early. But then again, he’d never talked about Nanika before, either. Not even with Alluka. It was too painful, and no one could fully understand what her loss meant to him.

And yet, he had talked about her with Gon.

Killua raised his face to the rainbow-colored sky as more butterflies came to life in his stomach. _Maybe he needed to spend more time looking at sunrises, after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/5/18  
> Ahhhhhhhhh, gosh, has it really been 3 months since I updated this last? ^^;;; Sorry about that, I recently graduated from graduate school so lots of stuff has been going on recently. I also suffer from chronic migraines so I can't write as often as I like, unfortunately. I'm always working on this fic though so please don't ever worry about me not updating. Even if it takes a while I'm going to keep writing this fic 'cause I love it~
> 
> Special thank you to sketchxhunter and xcoruscaminex both on tumblr!!! Sketch made the _gorgeous_ chapter art as always, and coru is just the biggest supporter I'm so grateful to them for loving my fics so much  <3
> 
> Thank you also for all the amazing reviews/kudos/bookmarks this fic has gotten since I last updated! You guys are great ^^ See you all next time!
> 
> [[My tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)


	7. The Hunters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The taller man’s gaze glinted with a new kind of interest as he stared at Killua, and Killua glared back murderously. He had hoped to tell Gon the truth about his heritage on his own, not to find out by accident from his enemies.
> 
> But it seemed like Killua didn’t have that option, anymore.
> 
> Gon started angrily, “What are you talking about—”
> 
> “This isn’t just some random friend you’ve got here. This is Killua Zoldyck, heir to the reining Mafia family back in Padokea.” The man smiled at Killua unpleasantly. “You’ve got a nice reward on your pretty little head, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone finds this confusing.............Killua and Alluka live together in city Masadora, which is in the country Padokea. Kurapika and the Nostrade family is the Mafia family that rules the country of Saherta, which is _next_ to Padokea. Yorbia is the city within Saherta where the Nostrade Family is located. And Yorbia is where Gon and Killua are now.

“The parking garage is just up this street, to the right, and at the corner,” Killua instructed. He didn’t look up as he rummaged through the backpack between his feet, despite the confusion he could feel radiating off of Gon in waves.

“Um. Okay, but—”

“When we get there, you’re going to show the guard this.” Killua shoved a card in Gon’s face. “It’ll get us into the garage no problem.”

Gon took the card carefully, keeping one hand on the steering wheel, and his brows knitted. “And _why_ do I need this to get into a parking garage?”

“Because the garage is private residence access only. And in this town, you want that kind of access. Trust me.”

“Whatever you say, Killua,” Gon murmured as he turned the wheel and took the next right. “And is there _also_ a reason why you’re putting on a baseball cap and slumping in your seat right now?”

Killua gritted his teeth at the question. He hadn’t exactly been hiding his actions, but he hated that Gon paid him enough attention to ask about them all the same.

“That card I gave you will get us the access we need,” he explained, not bothering to sit up. “But the guard at the entrance _can’t see me._ If he does, this whole mission of ours is in jeopardy. So do what I say, and don’t bring attention to me no matter what. Got it?”

Gon let out a heavy sigh. Killua could tell that wasn’t the answer he’d been looking for, but with the car so quickly approaching the parking garage, there was no more time to talk. As Gon began pressing on the breaks, Killua quickly clamped his eyes shut and slouched against the passenger door.

“Driver's license?” Killua heard the guard grunt after the car came to a full stop and the window was pulled down. His heart rate started to pick up pace, hands sweating where he shoved them into his armpits.

 _Calm down, stupid,_ he told himself. _Gon knows what to do; he won’t rat you out._

Still, Killua made sure to stay extremely still as he heard Gon shifting in the driver's seat. There was a strange _fwip_ that must’ve been the movement of his arm in his jacket. A beat of silence. Then—

The guard made a strangled, choking sound. “No—no fucking way! Is this for real, kid?”

“Um. Yes?”

Killua inwardly slapped himself. _Was the official Zoldyck seal real?!_ Of course it was! That card could get Killua into any building he wanted, buy anything he wanted, stay in any hotel he wanted…as long as his family was on good terms with the Mafia family in the country he was in, the card was as good as gold for those who recognized it.

And since they were in the Nostrade family’s home city, it should be.

The guard let out a shaky breath. There was a loud _BEEP_ and some creaking that Killua really hoped was the sound of the gates being opened.

“G-Go ahead. Take any spot you’d like. We’ll make sure the car is safe for you, sir.”

“Thanks,” Gon said, sounding surprised, and the car moved forward once more.

Killua stayed in his slumped position, eyes pressed firmly shut while Gon searched for a parking spot. It was only when the car’s engine fell silent that Killua finally dared to open his eyes again, and immediately found Gon staring at him.

His cheeks grew warm at being the center of that intense gaze. “What?” he snapped, snagging his card from where Gon had dropped it into the cup holder. “Are you going to gawp at me all day, or are we going to find Kurapika and ask him about Kite?”

“Killua—” Gon’s fingers encircled around Killua’s wrist, keeping him from opening the car door, and Killua’s breath lodged in his throat, “—wait a second! What _was_ that back there, why did the guard react like that when I showed him your card?”

Killua did his best to glare at the freckled sunshine of a man sitting next to him. “It’s an all-access card, okay. And it did exactly what it was supposed to do, which was to get us into this place so Leorio’s car doesn’t get vandalized while we’re talking with Kurapika!”

Gon looked taken aback at Killua’s tone, and Killua forced himself to take a calming breath. _“But,”_ he said as he gently tugged his wrist out of Gon’s grasp. “I’m not supposed to have this thing, okay? So, if anyone knows I’m using it—”

“—you’ll be in trouble,” Gon finished. “And that’s why you were slumping in your seat and pulling the cap over your eyes? So the guard wouldn’t see you and be able to report you?”

“Exactly. I have to wear some kind of disguise while I’m here, or else we’ll could both be in serious trouble.”

Killua lightly touched the bracelet on his left wrist with a frown. He also needed to wipe away evidence that they’d been here at all, to stop Milluki from finding Killua’s mark through some kind of electronic trail. But he didn’t feel comfortable doing that with Gon right there...

“If you need a disguise,” Gon’s bright voice pierced through Killua’s thoughts. “Then you should change jackets too!”

Killua’s mouth fell open, Gon’s suggestion catching him by surprise. “Huh?”

But Gon was already shrugging out of his own leather jacket, his arms and shoulders awkwardly bumping up against the driver's seat and steering wheel. “Here—” he threw the jacket at Killua and Killua yelped as it hit him in the face, “—put that on! I’m bulkier than you, so it should help to disguise your figure more.”

Killua was halfway to putting Gon’s jacket on when he froze. “Hey, wait a second…that doesn’t make any sense! The baseball cap will cover my hair and eyes, but me wearing your jacket isn’t going to help me at all!”

Gon just blinked at him innocently. “It won’t?”

“No! It’s just another layer of clothing, it’s not like it’s hiding my face or anything!” He narrowed his eyes at Gon suspiciously. “You just want me to wear your jacket, don’t you.”

Gon smiled at him cheekily. _“You’re_ the one who said that, Killua. Not me.”

“But you probably won’t accept this thing if I try to give it back to you, huh?”

“Nope,” Gon said, making a popping sound with his mouth and looking entirely too pleased with himself.

Killua’s face burned. “Jeez,” he grumbled and roughly shoved his arm through the other sleeve. “You really are stupid, you know that? Getting so happy over something so dumb…”

“It’s not dumb! You look good in my jacket, and that’s plenty enough reason to make me happy.”

Killua let out a short breath between his teeth, his cheeks feeling like melted wax. “W-Whatever. Let’s just go before you come up with any other idiotic ideas.”

He pushed the passenger door open before Gon could get another word in. He slipped out of his seat and slammed the door shut on Gon’s bright laughter, trying and failing to ignore the way that sound caused butterflies to flutter in his stomach.

It shouldn’t be legal for Gon to have laughter as nice sounding as that.

The pair made their way out of the parking garage and onto the street with ease. Killua led the way towards the corner, hastily shoving his hands into Gon’s jacket pockets and looking around under the rim of his cap. He hadn’t been here in years; he mostly met with Kurapika when the older man was visiting _Killua’s_ family, after all. Killua’s father had only brought Killua to Yorbia—to the Nostrade’s home turf—once or twice. But Killua’s memory was nothing short of excellent, and he still remembered the way to the Nostrade Family headquarters with ease.

But that didn’t mean Killua felt safe. Every stranger that passed them on the street, every car that sped forward on the road, every building door that opened nearby…it all made the knot in Killua’s chest twist and grow.

And then, to top it all off, there was Gon.

“Stop _whistling,”_ Killua hissed at the freckled man walking happily besides him. “We’re trying to _avoid_ attention here!”

Gon cocked his head to the side, a bemused smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, but acting super uptight would cause even more attention. Don’t you think?”

Killua glared at him. “Of course. But whistling is _directly_ calling attention to ourselves, dumbass. And that’s the opposite of what we’re trying to do here, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“I noticed! But, Killua—”

Killua tensed as Gon slung an arm across his shoulders, warmth rushing to his face in an instant as Gon’s smell hit him dead on and his body heat soaked into Killua’s side.

“—you really should relax,” Gon continued, this time beaming in earnest. “Being super tense isn’t going to solve anything.”

“I _am_ relaxed!” Killua growled and Gon raised both eyebrows.

“Then you either don’t know what relaxing means, or you’re just really bad at it.”

_“You—!”_

“Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t we pretend we’re a couple going on a date or something? That should help you to loosen up!”

Killua rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop the twitch of his lips into a begrudging half smile. Gon never stopped with the teasing. “Are you sure this isn't just _you_ trying to ask me out or something, Freecss?”

“Well, I _have_ been trying to do just that for past week,” Gon said, amusement making his gold eyes sparkle as Killua choked on thin air. “But thanks for finally noticing.”

Killua flushed three shades deeper. “D-Don’t be stupid. You like poking fun at me, that’s it—”

But then he remembered Leorio’s words, how Gon had asked after him and was interested in him way before ever needing Killua’s help to find Kite’s body, and suddenly Killua wasn’t so sure.

“Nuh-uh, I’m being serious! Let’s go out on a date, Killua. It’ll be fun!”

Killua stared pointedly ahead at the end of the street, trying not to show just how flustered he really was by Gon’s words. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Gon Freecss, a Hunter, asking him out on a _date_ was pretty much the last thing he’d expected when he agreed to go on this road trip extravaganza.

Speaking of which.

“We are _not_ going on a date,” Killua said as he slipped out of Gon’s arm. He ignored the way his voice cracked on the word ‘date’, and inwardly prayed that Gon would too.

“Why not?” Gon chased after Killua as he stomped around a corner. “Technically we’ve already been on one date already! This would be our second, so there’s no need to be shy!”

On their left, a group of motorcycles raged past them. Their engines roared like thunder, and Killua jumped at the ear-blasting loud noise.

He took a steadying breath— _calm down, Killua, jeez_ —then went back to glowering at Gon. “Okay, one: that little diner thing was not a date! I don’t know why you keep insisting that, we didn’t even eat anything.”

“We did later! I even brought back the cake for you.”

 _“Two!”_ Killua said loudly over Gon, the tips of his ears starting to burn now. “We’re here for one reason and one reason only, and that’s to get information on Kite. For _you,_ I might add. Once we finish that we’re leaving. Got that? We don’t have time for fooling around!”

Gon’s smile narrowed and sharpened into something sly, and Killua immediately regretted his choice of words.

“Maybe we don’t have time for fooling around _now,_ ” Gon said smartly. “But we’ll definitely need to eat at some point, Killua.”

Killua groaned. “You’re absolutely ridiculous, you know that? When are you going to drop the flirting jokes and suggestive commentary?”

“Once you start taking them seriously,” Gon said with a hum and Killua’s stomach flipped.

“Y-You,” he stammered out. Gon kept on smiling at him pleasantly, patiently waiting for Killua to find the right words, and Killua _hated_ him for it. “You’re so _weird,_ god. Do you even hear yourself talk at all?!”

Gon laughed at that. “Of course I do! It’s not my fault you get flustered so easily, Killua.”

 _“Shut up,_ Gon,” Killua snapped back and that only made Gon laugh even louder. “You just get a kick out of embarrassing me!”

“I’m not doing anything! I just want to eat with you, that’s it. And we _will_ have to do that sometime soon. We can’t keep going on junk food from the dollar store for the rest of the day.”

“Maybe you can’t,” Killua grumbled.

Gon looked at him knowingly. “You can’t just have chocolate bars all day, Killua. You need real food.”

“Chocolate is real food, fuck you!”

Gon shook his head, but his eyes glimmered with a hidden laugh. “Maybe we could go get some more chocolate _after_ dinner, but it can’t _be_ dinner. Do you know of any good places around here?”

Killua frowned at that. “I...don’t know, actually. I haven’t been here in a while, the usual place I went to probably changed.” That, and it was his father’s favorite restaurant. No way in hell was Killua going there.

“We could always look up places online,” he said instead, trying to shake the dark thoughts away. “But I don’t really care where we go. I’m not picky. What about you?”

“Hm? Oh, I don’t care either. When I was younger we had to eat whatever we had, so now I’ll eat pretty much anything.”

Killua glanced at Gon from the corner of his eye. “You didn’t have too many food options in the countryside, huh?”

Gon perked up. “You remember I used to live in the countryside?”

Killua blushed at the genuine joy in Gon’s voice. “‘Course I do, idiot. You only told me yesterday.”

“Still, I’m glad! Not everyone would bother to listen to something like that.” Gon was practically glowing as they came to a red light. It made him look like the sun in a strange way, and the thought only made Killua’s already churning insides turn to mush.

He quickly looked at the ground before his feelings could show on his face. Killua grumbled to the sidewalk, “It’s not that amazing, you’re just ridiculously easy to please. Seriously, you’re _always_ smiling.”

“That’s only because _you_ make me smile,” Gon said honestly and Killua stiffened.

“Wha-What’s that supposed to mean?!”

Gon shrugged. “Just that it’s easy to smile around you, so that’s why I do it so much. And it’s something I really, really like about you.”

Before Killua could even begin to process what _that_ meant, the walking sign across the street changed from red to green. By the time he remembered to start walking, Gon was already barrelling ahead, asking, “What about you, Killua? Do you try lots of food with Alluka?”

“Uh. Kinda? We kind of order out a lot and it’s usually the same five places. Sometimes we try to make stuff on the weekends when we’re both off from school and work, but that’s about it.”

“You don’t like cooking, then?”

They made it across the street, the light changing back to red a few seconds after their feet touched the pavement. Killua stared out in front of them with a slight frown. “Not really? I tried at least in the beginning but everything I touched I kind of, um, burned? So now I’m not allowed to do anything without Alluka’s help.”

Gon guffawed loudly. “Alluka banned you from the kitchen, huh? Didn’t your mom ever teach you how to cook?”

“No.” Killua elbowed Gon in the side as the other continued to snicker. “As if she would ever—hey, stop laughing! _Again,_ Gon, we’re trying not to call attention to ourselves!”

“S-Sorry,” Gon giggled uncontrollably. “Wh-What was it you were s-saying?”

Killua shook his head. This guy was helpless. “I said, _no_. I’m pretty sure my mom doesn’t even know how to turn the oven on. The butlers made our food, or the bodyguards. Whoever was around at the time.”

Gon’s laughter cut off abruptly at that. He blinked at Killua, as if surprised. “You—You had bodyguards?”

 _Whoops._ Killua bit the inside of his cheek hard. He wasn’t supposed to say that. Why did Gon have to be so easy to talk to? It was all too easy for Killua to let his guard down around the Hunter.

“...yeah,” Killua said slowly, unsure of how to continue when he noticed the rumbling sound of motorcycles off in the distance. Again. Hadn’t those guys already passed them a while ago?

“That’s kind of crazy you had bodyguards,” Gon was saying. “Were your parents part of some kind of protection program, or—”

Gon continued to talk, but Killua stopped paying attention. He glanced over his shoulder, eyes scanning the streets, but all he saw were cars and other citizens milling about their day.

But the sound of the motorcycles didn’t stop. If anything, it was growing louder. And that could only mean they were getting closer.

A chill settled in Killua’s bones, a strange prickling in the back of his neck. “Gon,” he said, cutting the other of mid-sentence. “Do you hear that?”

Gon stayed silent for a moment, focusing. “The...motorcycles? Yeah, what about them?”

Killua looked him in the eyes. “Didn’t they pass us a while ago? Why are they doubling back?”

Understanding filtered into Gon’s eyes. He looked around quickly just as Killua had done, and that only made the unease inside Killua grow. Seeing Gon of all people react like that was anything but a good sign.

Something was wrong. He could feel it.

Gon asked lowly, “Killua, how close are we to Kurapika’s place?”

“Too far,” Killua answered, just as quiet, and Gon visibly clenched his jaw.

“Okay, then. Follow me.” He grabbed Killua’s wrist and suddenly yanked him into a deserted side street. It was small opening, not even large enough for cars to enter, and only as long as the buildings on either side were wide. At the end, Killua could just make out the middle of another semi-busy street.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Killua hissed and Gon lightly squeezed Killua’s wrist.

“Nope. But that doesn’t matter; we’re just trying to see if those guys really are following us.”

The roar of the motorcycles’ engines were extremely close now. They were probably on the street Killua and Gon had just been walking down, in fact. If the drivers were still after him and Gon, they would have to follow the rest of the way on foot.

“Follow my lead,” Gon said into Killua’s ear. Killua didn’t have the chance to ask what Gon meant before the other was slipping his arm across Killua’s shoulders once more, leaning into Killua so their sides were pressed flush together.

This time, Killua didn’t protest.

Somewhere behind them, the sound of motorcycles cut off.

“Gon—” Killua breathed, heart starting to race, and Gon’s arm tightened around him.

“I know,” Gon’s voice was grim, tense. It only made the panic inside of Killua surge like a wave.

“What are we going to do if they come down here?! We need a plan, I won’t die here!”

Gon just smiled at Killua with a strange look of amusement. And there, deep inside his eyes, was a shimmering and pulsing emotion...an emotion that Killua couldn’t understand.

“Don’t worry,” Gon said in that all too reassuring, confident tone of his. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Killua. I promise.”

Killua stared back at Gon with wide eyes and reddening cheeks. The blood roaring in his ears was loud, thumping. It was so distracting he almost missed the clatter of footsteps behind them—

Gon leaned towards him suddenly. Killua was too tightly wound to react to the gentle press of Gon’s lips to Killua’s silver hair, but Killua’s stuttering heart responded the same as ever.

Apparently, being in a life-threatening situation wasn’t enough to lessen Killua’s helpless attraction to one Gon Freecss.

“Well, well, well,” an unfamiliar male voice drawled. “If it isn’t Gon Freecss!”

Killua blinked in shock, subconsciously slowing down to match Gon’s abrupt lack of speed.

Had...had Killua heard right? Did that guy really just call out _Gon’s_ name? Were these guys not after Killua, after all?

Gon murmured into Killua’s ear, posture stiff as a wooden board, “Keep your head down. Okay? Don’t let them see your face.”

He didn’t give Killua the chance to reply before he was turning around to face their aggressors, sliding his arm off Killua’s shoulders at the same time. He smoothly stepped forward and in front of Killua, blocking him from view, as he said with obvious dread, “Hey, Bomber...”

“Long time no see, kid,” the man named Bomber responded, tone lilting in a way that made him sound like he was smiling. Killua kept his gaze trained on the dirtied pavement with his cap tilted down over his eyes, just as Gon instructed, but on the inside his stomach twisted into a mess of tangled knots. Someone named ‘Bomber’ couldn’t be anything but bad news.

A pair of boots came into the edge of his vision, along with the bottom of a pale trench coat. Two other pairs of shoes appeared on either side of Bomber’s and Killua scowled. Of _course_ Bomber had followers. Why would this be anything but an uneven match off with Killua’s bad luck?

Bomber conversationally asked, “Watcha’ doing in this part of the world, Freecss?”

“None of your business,” Gon said, tone cross and cold.

“Ah. Well, see, that’s where you’re wrong. It’s _my_ business to know _your_ business, because you _stole_ my business. And I always keep tabs on those who steal my hunt for themselves. Understand?”

The hairs on the back of Killua’s neck rose. Holy shit. Were these guys Hunters too?!

Gon growled, “They were just cards—”

“Ha, that’s funny. Those ‘cards’ are what I hunt, brat. That’s like saying that Bisky person was just another friend of yours.”

He paused and Killua saw his robe shift slightly as he turned. Killua’s breath stilled. Was Bomber looking at him?

“Looks to me like you got a new plaything, though,” Bomber said thoughtfully and Killua had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself in check. He wanted nothing more than to smash this guy’s face into the brick walls on either side of them. Killua wasn’t _anyone’s_ plaything, no matter how much he felt magnetically drawn to Gon. He had ‘belonged’ to his parents once upon a time and he refused to be entrapped like that ever again.

But...who exactly was this Bisky person? Was she _also_ someone Gon had relentless pursued? The question caused a deep, sharp pang in his chest. It hurt, more than Killua ever expected, to think that he wasn’t the only person Gon had been interested in.

Bomber suddenly began to walk forward again, his two buddies following a step behind like shadows, and Killua inhaled sharply.

Gon grabbed Killua’s wrist to pull him close, still blocking Bomber’s path to Killua with his own body. “No, he doesn’t have anything to do with this—”

Gon’s hand was abruptly ripped away from Killua’s. Something gripped Killua’s shoulder, _hard_ , and he was thrown sideways. His back slammed into the building’s brick wall with a force that stunned him. Killua’s head throbbed in pain, and he made a strangled, choking noise as stars exploded across his vision.

“Will you tell me what I want to know now, Gon?”

Killua’s vision managed to focus just as a narrow face peered into his. Bomber was a tall, thin kind of man, with pointed triangle-shaped glasses and a smile sharp enough to cut glass. He radiated a malicious aura and Killua hated him instantly.

“Don’t you _dare_ touch him!” Gon snarled viciously. Killua could just barely see Gon out of the corner of his eye; he was struggling against Bomber’s followers, who held Gon’s arms pinned behind his back and easily kept him from lurching forward.

“I won’t do anything to him,” Bomber said pleasantly. Killua clenched his jaw, not trusting him for a second— “Just tell me what you did with the cards you stole from us, and what you’re doing here in Yorbia.”

Bomber looked over at Gon, his boney hand tightening on Killua’s shoulder. His fingers dug into Killua’s skin like a vice. A hiss escaped from between Killua’s teeth before he could hold it back, and Gon began to fight against Bomber’s followers in earnest.

 _“Killua!”_ he yelled desperately. Killua’s mouth turned dry at the clear and genuine fear in Gon’s voice. Did he really care about Killua that much?!

“Tell us, Gon,” Bomber said calmly. “Or else your friend’s brains will be splattered across this wall.”

He turned his strangely orange eyes back to Killua. “...or maybe your friend knows something, if you won’t tell us.”

Killua’s nails scraped against the brick as Bomber started to reach towards him. He couldn’t move. He was locked in place by that steal grip—

“Don’t—!” Gon cried out and Killua winced as his cap was knocked neatly off his head. It landed on the pavement at his feet with a soft _thud._ Slowly, Killua reopened his eyes.

Bomber was still smirking at Gon, who was paler than Killua could ever remember seeing him, with brown eyes that were blown wide. He looked genuinely terrified, and that only seemed to make Bomber’s smug satisfaction grow stronger.

“Now,” Bomber started and turned back to look at Killua. “Why don’t we—?”

Bomber’s eyes finally locked onto Killua’s, and the color drained out of his face.

Killua knew immediately that Bomber recognized him; it was all too easy to tell with the way Bomber’s cocky attitude vanished like a popping balloon, how his orange-eyed smirk transformed into a look of horror, all that cockiness falling away in a single second.

Bomber yanked his hand from Killua’s shoulder as he leapt back from Killua. In the distance Killua distantly heard Bomber’s followers react in a similar fashion—one gasping, the other muttering out a low curse. All three stared at Killua for a short moment, their eyes nearly popping out of their heads in their shock.

Killua bit the inside of his cheek. Well, shit. This was exactly the opposite of what he wanted to happen.

“My, my, my…” Bomber said finally, his posture slowly starting to relax. “Looks like we’ve got an even bigger catch here than Gon Freecss, boys.”

Gon snarled darkly off in the distance. “He’s just a friend! Let him go, Bomber, he didn’t do anything—”

“You must truly be stupid, Freecss,” Bomber said calmly. “Either that, or you’re just playing dumb to save your buddy, here.”

His gaze glinted with a new kind of interest as he stared at Killua, and Killua glared back murderously. He had hoped to tell Gon the truth about his heritage on his own, not to find out by accident from his enemies.

But it seemed like Bomber wasn’t giving him that option, anymore.

Gon started angrily, “What are you _talking_ about—”

“This isn’t just some random friend you’ve got here. This is Killua Zoldyck, heir to the reining Mafia family back in Padokea.” He smiled at Killua unpleasantly. “You’ve got a nice reward on your pretty little head, kid.”

Killua balled his hands into white-knuckled fists. Reward? Had his parents really gone that far to get him and Alluka back? He knew his parents hadn’t mentioned a word of their disappearance since they’d left, fearing the reaction of the other Mafia families. After all, if the Zoldycks couldn’t keep their own heir under control, why should they be the leading Mafia family in Padokea?

But he guessed even _his_ family would’ve gotten desperate after two years with a missing heir.

Killua stiffened as he felt the cool edge of a knife being pressed to the corner of his jaw.

“If we turn you in—” Bomber dragged the blade lightly across Killua’s skin, tracing his jawline, “—we could easily buy back the cards Freecss lost us all those years ago. Even more cards than that, probably.”

“You’d have to turn me in first,” Killua growled.

Bomber threw his head back and laughed, the sound loud enough to ring in Killua’s ears. “We already have you, _kid_ , in case you hadn’t noticed. You and your boyfriend can’t fight against three Hunters.”

Killua’s eyes flashed, fury boiling up inside his heart and overflowing. He opened his mouth, ready to snap—

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

—but Gon cut in before Killua could say a word.

Killua’s eyes darted to Gon, whose gold irises were dark and full of rage, and the air left Killua’s lungs in a _whoosh_. Worry and regret and an honest fear wormed its way into his heart soon after, and then all Killua could do was stare at the Hunter with a strange sort of ache pulsing inside him.

For the first time, Killua wondered what Gon must be thinking. Was he furious at Killua for hiding the truth? Would he even bother helping Killua get out of this mess? Kurapika’s place was too far to be of any use; Gon was all Killua had to rely on right now. He _needed_ Gon. He only hoped that Gon still needed him, too.

“Well,” Bomber said, a sharp grin slowly growing on his face. “If he’s not your boyfriend, then I guess that means you won’t mind us taking him away from you, hm?”

He pressed his knife hard against Killua’s skin, earning a sharp inhale from the Zoldyck heir—

_“AHHH!!!”_

Killua’s eyes darted to the source of the shout in an instant as the pressure of the Bomber’s dagger lessened simultaneously. It took Killua all of one second to realize what had happened: Bomber’s followers were both hissing in pain, the heel of Gon’s shoes planted firmly on their toes.

Killua felt his muscles lock into place. _A distraction._

He didn’t waste any time. He jerked his hand up and into Bomber’s knife, making the inattentive Bomber loosen his grip on both Killua and the weapon. The Bomber jolted at the hit, caught off guard, but by that time Killua was twisting on one foot. He slammed his elbow into Bomber’s chest. Bomber stumbled backwards and Killua swiftly delivered a high kick to the thin man’s groin to push him back farther.

He knew the only reason he could hit Bomber at all was because the other wasn’t expecting the attack. That would change the moment Bomber came to his senses.

Bomber regained his footing, now a few feet from Killua. He laughed, the unsettling sound coming from deep in his throat, and Killua gripped Bomber’s knife tightly in his fist. He’d managed to snag it when Bomber had been tripping on his own two feet. Whether or not Killua would be able to keep said weapon was another story.

“Do you really think you can beat me, kid?” Bomber asked, tilting his head to the side.

Killua breathed heavily through his nose. He could hear the grunts of pain and slaps of skin against skin to his right, the sound of Gon fighting Bomber’s two henchmen. Bomber was the more deadly opponent though, Killua was sure of it.

So that meant Killua had to keep him occupied. He had to keep Bomber from getting to Gon and overwhelming him.

Killua let his lips twist into a sneer. “Won’t know until I try,” Killua said, faking a confidence he didn’t entirely feel. He raised his fists to his chin and jerked his head. “C’mon. Don’t you want that nice _reward_ on my pretty little head? You won’t get it just by standing there!”

Bomber’s smile dropped away. That was all the warning Killua had before the taller man was in front of him.

Killua dipped under Bomber’s claw-like hands and just barely managed to dance out of his grasp. Bomber was fast, faster than Killua was expecting.

But he still wasn’t faster than Killua.

Bomber lunged after him. Killua ducked out of the way again, swinging his leg at Bomber’s right knee. His foot didn’t have the chance to make contact; Bomber leaped back, then forward just as Killua’s foot started to drop back down.

Killua’s eyes flew open wide. _Shit!_

He swiped Bomber’s knife through the air. It proved to be the right move, as Bomber had to bend over backwards to avoid a long cut along his jaw. Killua took the opportunity before him and threw his fist under Bomber’s chin.

There was a satisfying smaking sound, the jarring sensation of Killua’s knuckles against bone. Bomber’s head snapped back with a hiss of air between clenched teeth. Blood roared in Killua’s ears, blocking out almost everything else, and he lept away.

He had to move back. He couldn’t stay too close to Bomber, it would be fatal, he was sure of it—

Killua gasped when his back collided with something soft and solid. He twisted his head around just enough to see what he’d hit.

His jaw dropped. “G-Gon?!”

Gon managed to give him a tight smile. He was breathing heavy, back planted firmly against Killua’s so that Killua could feel every unsteady shudder of Gon’s lungs.

“Hey, Killua.” He turned back to face his own foes and Killua’s heart lurched at the sight of Bomber’s followers approaching them on Gon’s side. He swung his head around and his gaze landed on the scowling Bomber, who was rubbing at his now-blooming bruise on his chin with irritation.

 _They were blocked on both sides,_ Killua thought to himself as sweat dripped down the side of his face. No exits. So that could only mean one thing:

They were going to have to fight their way out.

“Any ideas?” Gon asked lowly, still panting.

Killua’s eye twitched. “I thought that was _your_ job! Didn’t you promise me I wasn’t going to die here?!”

Gon laughed somewhat breathlessly. “Ha, that’s true! I’m surprised you remembered that…”

Killua didn’t answer. Bomber had finished rubbing his sharply angled face, and was now approaching Killua again with a look that caused a shiver to race down Killua’s spine. He could tell from the slight shift in Gon’s stance that Bomber’s followers were doing the same on the opposite side.

Killua’s stomach twisted. This wasn’t good. He knew he and Gon’s combined efforts were more than worthy to challenge most competitors, but...

But these guys weren’t normal. They were fully grown Hunters, each adult taller and more muscular than them both, and they also had a whole extra person to fight on their side. Killua didn’t know how he and Gon could—

Gon’s voice cut through his thoughts, “Killua, I—I’ve fought Bomber, before.”

“You’re saying we should switch?” Killua asked as Bomber continued to draw near.

“Yeah, yeah! Let’s switch. Are you ready?”

Killua braced himself. “One—”

“Two—” Gon said.

“Three!” they cried out together. They nimbly twisted around each other to face their new opponent, Killua against Bomber’s followers and Gon against Bomber.

Killua didn’t hesitate; he threw Bomber’s stollen dagger at the dark haired follower. The man easily jumped out of the way, but by then Killua was on the move.

He socked the other, pink haired follower clean across his jaw. The man stumbled back with a gasp and Killua threw all his weight into his following kick. The force of Killua’s heel was enough to throw pink-haired guy away and into the one of the adjacent brick walls. The man’s skull made a satisfying _thunk_ -ing sound as it made contact with brick. He was knocked unconscious immediately, his body slumping to the alleyway’s cold concrete floor.

He didn’t get up.

The black haired follower was on top of Killua in a flash. Killua had to throw himself out of the man’s swinging fist before turning back around to face his enemy once more on steady legs. It was good Killua got one follower out of the way, and as soon as he finished off with this one he could help Gon with Bomber. But this guy would be harder to defeat; he wouldn’t fall for the same mistake that had been pink-haired guy’s ending.

Back and forth, Killua exchanged blows with the black-haired follower. Killua did everything he could to avoid any fatal blows but within a few minutes his limbs started to ache with soon-to-be bruises from well placed hits. He knew some of his own hits had weakened his opponent, too: the man was noticeably slowing. It would all come down to who could stay standing the longest.

And Killua was determined that would be _him._

“ACK!”

Gon’s cry pierced the air, landing on Killua’s ears like a gunshot. Killua stiffened as a burst of icy fear exploded to life in his chest.

 _No,_ Killua thought and his head automatically started to turn towards the source of Gon’s shout—

He gasped as a powerful kick wiped his feet out from under him. Killua’s back slammed into the concrete, air vanishing from his lungs at the impact. Before he could even think of getting up, a boot was placed on his stomach. The heel dug painfully into his organs as the black haired guy started to add pressure.

Killua hissed, eyes screwing shut at the flare of aching pain, and the man above him chuckled.

“Not so tough now, huh, Zoldyck?”

Pure hate caused Killua’s blood boil. He snarled as best he could, still out of breath from his fall.

“Still, you’re pretty strong for a kid.” The man leaned down, staring at Killua with a strange, unnerving glint in his eyes. His lips were moving but Killua barely heard what he was saying. His mind was still focused on Gon, if he was okay, why he’d yelled—if he was still _alive,_ even— “You’re just not strong enough to defeat _me.”_

He began to pull his hand back, fingers curled into a white-knuckled fist. Killua felt his eyes widen involuntarily and his throat constrict. He could still block the hit with his arms, right? But how many punches could he take before he slipped? And what about Gon?!

The man’s fist started to swing down. Killua threw his arms up to cover his face—

“KILLUA!”

The weight on Killua’s chest vanished with a crush and whistle of air. Killua sucked in a huge breath as Gon tackled Bomber’s follower off Killua and onto the ground a few feet away. Killua pushed himself onto his hands, gaping at the struggling pair as they rolled over themselves.

“How rude, Gon.”

Ice shot down Killua’s spine. He twisted around, ignoring the warning ache of his stomach from the boot, and saw Bomber standing a little ways off. He was more scruffed up than when Killua had last laid eyes on him; Bomber’s face and clothes were covered in bruises and dirk marks, and his eyes had a wild edge to it that hadn’t been there when Killua faced off against him.

Plus, now there was a small gun grasped in his right hand.

Killua felt the blood drain out of his face as Bomber continued to say conversationally, “You shouldn’t turn away from a fight. Especially when you’re fighting against someone like me.”

Bomber raised his gun and leveled it Gon’s direction as the younger man grappled with Bomber’s follower.

 _“No!”_ the shriek was ripped out of Killua. He was up and moving before he processed what he was doing. He crashed into Bomber with the force of a train, throwing him off course and away from Gon. He grabbed Bomber’s gun and tried to yank it out of the other man’s grip, but Bomber was strong. They struggled for a few moments with Killua desperately trying to pull the gun out of Bomber’s fist while Bomber fought back to throw Killua off him.

“Let go, brat—” Bomber growled in his face, breath hot and disgusting, and Killua snarled back wordlessly.

He used a final surge of strength to knee Bomber right where it hurt most. A choking gasp left Bomber’s lips and Killua finally wrenched the gun out of his loosening fingers. He threw the gun off to the side, not caring where it landed as long as it was far out of Bomber’s reach.

He twisted around just in time to see Bomber’s clawed hand flying toward his face. Killua quickly darted out of the way. Bomber’s arms were still swinging, and Killua didn’t hesitate to take the opening to sock Bomber across his narrow face.

The force of Killua’s punch was enough to make Bomber’s head snap back. Killua threw his fist at Bomber over again, and again, and again, not stopping until Bomber was swaying on his feet. Killua hit him one last time, throwing all his weight into this last punch, and finally— _finally_ —Bomber fell backwards. Killua watched Bomber’s body collapse to the ground, harsh pants leaving his lips, and felt a savage rush of satisfaction at the loud thump Bomber made when he hit cement.

It was over.

“Killua!”

Killua’s heart jumped up into his mouth. _Gon._

He spun around to see the very man of his thoughts. Gon was sprinting towards him, a look of genuine relief flashing across his freckled face. Behind him, Killua made out the crumpled figure of the black haired man Gon had pushed off him—

Killua sucked in a sharp breath when Gon’s hands grasped his upper arms. He blinked stupidly as Gon looked him over. “Killua,” Gon began, scanning Killua’s scuffed up clothes and lightly bruised skin. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt or anything, right?”

“N-No,” Killua stammered out. He was distracted by the warmth of Gon’s fingers on his arm. “I don’t think so, at least…”

Gon’s shoulders dropped. A relieved smile cause his lips to curl upwards as he said, “That’s—that’s good. I was so worried when they—”

_Click._

Killua’s blood froze at that all-too-familiar sound. Both he and Gon looked to the side to see Bomber’s pink haired follower—the same one Killua could’ve sworn he knocked unconscious not even ten minutes ago—now very much awake.

In his shaking arm, he was holding Bomber’s gun, and pointing it at Killua.

Killua’s eyes widened. Time slowed to a crawl as he watched the pink haired man start to squeeze the trigger, knowing it was too late, that there was nothing he could do to move out of the way fast enough and that Gon would have to go on and find Kurapika without him and—

And Gon shoved him out of the way, lurching forward to take Killua’s place in front of the gun.

Killua slammed into the brick wall as horror filled his lungs and choked him. He opened his mouth to scream because _no,_ no no no no no, NO! Why had Gon done that?!

A dark figure loomed behind Bomber’s follower before the scream could tear itself out of Killua’s chest. The shadow was a blur against the bright sunlight in the distance. Killua’s mouth was still gaping open as Bomber’s follower slumped back to the ground, hit across the skull by an incredible force. The gun fell out of his limp fingers and scattered across uneven cement to land at Gon’s feet.

The whole interaction happened within a few seconds.

Killua’s limbs were still tingling with adrenaline as time returned to its normal speed. He stared unblinkingly at the gun on the ground, then up at Gon’s shell-shocked expression, before finally turning to the stranger that had saved their lives.

The stranger took a stepped around Bomber’s fallen man. Killua’s heartbeat began to slow as he neared, finally coming to a stop a few feet away from Killua and Gon. He asked in a gravely tone Killua did not recognize, “Mr. Zoldyck. Are you unharmed?”

Killua frowned. He pushed himself off the wall to stand at Gon’s side. Rather than answering, he just said sharply, “Who are you, and why did you help us?”

The man lowered his head in a slight bow. “I am with the Nostrade family. I was sent here to bring you back to headquarters.”

Killua sensed a presence behind them and whipped his head around. More men and women were coming up behind them, each wearing the same suits as the man who had addressed them. They had to be together.

“Killua?” Gon asked him under his breath. Killua bit his lower lip, quickly thinking through their options. He was pretty sure the suit guy was telling the truth. But if he was wrong…

Well. They _had_ just saved Gon’s life. KIllua would give them the benefit of the doubt for now.

“It’s okay,” he said after a pause. He looked Gon in the eyes, trying his best to reassure him despite the clear worry he saw in those gold irises. “I promise. I’ll know if they’re taking us to the right place or not.”

The suit man bobbed his head. “Very good, sir. We’ll bring the car around.”

And with that the man pulled out a cell phone. Killua stayed tense until the man turned away to speak into the cell’s speaker. The second his back was facing them, Killua spun to glare at Gon. He slapped his hands on Gon’s cheeks and forced Gon to look at him.

“AH— _ow,_ Ki-Killua, wha—?”

 _“Why,”_ Killua growled, squishing Gon’s cheeks together to cut him off. “Did you do that?! _Huh?”_

“Doo waht, Keewuah?”

“You _know_ what, Gon! You pushed me to the side and jumped in front of the gun like a _complete_ and _total_ idiot—!”

Killua sucked in a sharp breath as Gon’s fingers encircled his wrists. Gon gently lifting Killua’s hands off his face and lowered them, giving Killua a crooked smile. Butterflies fluttered in Killua’s stomach when Gon didn’t let go, but instead held on to lightly rub his thumbs over Killua’s pulse.

Killua’s heart was racing as if they were facing off against Bomber again. But this was an entirely different situation. And knowing that only made Killua even more aware of his body’s reaction.

“I told you I wouldn’t let you get hurt,” Gon said simply. He released Killua’s wrists, instead intertwining his fingers with Killua’s. He squeezed them, as if holding Killua’s hands was the most natural thing in the world, and continued easily, “Or, at least, I promised I wouldn’t let you die. I meant what I said!”

Killua struggled to keep himself from gaping at the Hunter. His chest felt strangely tight at the sight of their laced fingers, the feel of the calloused texture of Gon’s broad palms. He was too aware of Gon’s touch, but, for some strange reason, Killua didn’t feel nearly as worried about it as he should be.

Killua took a steadying breath and said, “That doesn’t mean you get to die in my place, stupid. Who’s going to get Kite back if you go getting yourself killed?”

Gon frowned. “Well...the others would find some way to make it a reality, if I couldn’t. Plus, you’d be alive, wouldn’t you?”

Killua’s heart stuttered.

Gon sounded thoughtful as he said, “You have lots more to live for than I do, anyway. You have Alluka—she needs you, Killua. You’re important, special. So I couldn’t just stand there and let you die, not when I could do something about it.”

Killua stared at Gon. Gon, with his bright smile and genuine words. Gon, who had saved him even at the cost of his own goals, even after knowing Killua’s lineage. Gon, who called him important, special, amazing—

Killua’s eyes darted down from Gon’s gold eyes to his grinning lips. He was leaning in before he realized he was doing it, moving towards Gon’s face as a rush of _gratefulness_ and _want_ pulsed through him in powerful waves.

Gon had saved Killua’s life. He’d thought about Alluka, put her and Killua before himself, and it was impossible for Killua to contain intense mix of feelings inside him.

As Killua neared, Gon’s round eyes widened. Tan cheeks darkened to a flushed scarlet. Blood was roaring in Killua’s ears, making his head feel light and dizzy, and his heart was beating too fast like a hummingbird was trapped in his chest. But he still didn’t stop. He couldn’t, not when he was so close to Gon that he could feel Gon’s breath on his lips and his hands tighten around Killua’s…

“Mr. Zoldyck.”

Killua jolted. He jumped away from Gon like he’d been electrocuted, his eyes snapping open. He yanked his hands out of Gon’s and stumbled into the brick wall from how badly he’d been scared.

For a few endless seconds, Killua and Gon stared at each other. The weight of what just happened hung heavy in the air between them. Heat prickled across Killua’s skin and he forced himself to break Gon’s gaze. There, at the end of the alleyway, the suit man was was waiting for them. He stood next to a black limousine with an opened door.

Killua swallowed thickly. His mouth was dry and he could still feel Gon’s heavy gaze digging into the side of his face. He couldn’t bring himself to look back at him, though. He too terrified to see whatever expression Gon was making.

Because of all the times they’d gotten close, this was the first time _Killua_ had initiated it.

Gritting his teeth, Killua lifted himself off the wall. The blush on his cheeks was hot and prickling, but he refused to acknowledge it.

“Let’s go,” he said to Gon without sparing him a glance, and walked forward. He heard Gon’s footsteps behind him after a short pause and Killua inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.

Gon was still with him, despite everything. Killua couldn’t tell if the Hunter was angry or upset with Killua for hiding the secret of his heritage; the fight had been too intense to talk much, and then Nostrade’s people had shown up.

From what Killua could tell, Gon didn’t _seem_ like he was bothered by the truth of Killua’s family. But how could he not? Killua’s past was soaked with blood and secrets and an endless list of horrible things. Just having the last name ‘Zoldyck’ attached to his ensured that instantly. If Gon still treated him the same, it would be a miracle. And Killua never once believed in those sorts of things.

The suited man gestured for Killua to enter the limousine. Killua slid in without hesitation and Gon followed. Killua kept his gaze carefully trained on the passengers on the sidewalk. He didn’t say a word to Gon, and Gon didn’t say anything back.

The limousine came to life with a dull rumble a few seconds later. They took off down the street and finally— _finally_ —they were back on track to meeting with Kurapika. Killua only hoped that his friend would have the answers Gon so desperately sought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/27/2018  
> I know this is……really late again, and the chapters keep getting longer and longer, and I’m sorry ^^; this summer has been really rough but it’s always a joy to update my favorite fic <3 This Bomber vs Killua and Gon scene was one of the first ideas I had for this fic and it's one of the main reasons why I wrote this story at all. So it was a lot of fun to finally write it down, I really had a blast with it. I hope you all enjoyed it too!
> 
> As always, thank you to sketchxhunter for the chapter art, and thank you to anyone who is still reading this thing and leaving comments/kudos/bookmarks/etc! It means more than you know.
> 
> [[My tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)


	8. Aye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What about you, Killua?” Gon asked. “Have you ever loved anyone?”
> 
> “Love?” Killua echoed, thinking back to all the brief flings he’d ever had over the past few years. “No, not…like that, at least. I’m sure my parents loved each other in their own messed up way. But I don’t want what they had.” 
> 
> Killua looked down at their feet as they swayed. The visible disappointment in Gon’s expression made his heart twist for a reason he couldn’t name. He added, “I’m not sure if true love like the one in fairy tales even exists. How can anyone be that happy, have that much love, for a stranger? It doesn’t make sense.”
> 
> “Maybe you just need to meet the right person,” Gon suggested.

The bar that was stationed as the Nostrade Family’s headquarters was small, inconspicuous. Nothing about it stood out, from the rusted sign over the door to the dim lighting and small dance floor. It was just like every other bar in this city, but Killua knew the difference.

He’d only been here a few times as a child. His father had talked to some burly men in expensive suits in a corner while Killua was told to stay at the end of the bar, out of trouble. But that didn’t mean Killua couldn’t tell a Mafia hangout from a regular bar, and Killua’s memory hadn’t failed him despite the number of years that had passed since he’d last been here.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Gon asked him lowly, looking at Killua through thick brown lashes.

“For the last time, _yes,_ I’m sure.” Killua held back a hiss as Gon wrapped gauze around his hands. _“Ow.”_

“Sorry,” Gon said immediately. “I didn’t mean to—”

“I know, I know. It just—stings, a bit.” Killua curled the fingers of his free hand into a fist. This wasn’t the worse pain he’d been in, but it was the first time in quite a while that he’d needed to be patched up.

“At least it’s nothing too bad?” Gon said, sounding hopeful, and Killua grimaced.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true…”

Now that he thought about it, his injuries from their fight with Bomber’s gang could have been so, so much worse. He’d only gotten a few scrapes from falling on the concrete and struggling against Bomber at the very end. There was a small line of red on his neck from where Bomber had pressed his blade, too, but that didn’t even need a bandage.

And yet, Gon still insisted on asking for a first aid kit the moment they arrived at the bar. He’d also asked if Killua still had the healing balm he’d made for him, but Killua had left it in Leorio’s car. To Killua’s credit, he never thought they’d be getting into that much trouble that he would _need_ the balm again so soon...

“You know,” he began and Gon’s head snapped up. “You really don’t have to do this.”

Gon gave him a smile that didn’t fully reach his eyes. “I _want_ to do this, Killua. You saved me—”

“No, _you_ saved _me,”_ Killua argued. “Did you totally forget the whole pushing me out of the way and jumping in front of the gun thing?”

“No, ‘course not! But you wouldn’t have been in that situation at all if—”

“Gon, seriously, stop it. If I hear you blame yourself one more time I’m going to punch you in the face.”

Gon let out a sputtering laugh at that. The sound warmed Killua from the inside out, and he felt his lips twitch upwards almost involuntarily.

Seeing Gon laugh was a good sight. It made the consistent tightness in Killua’s chest loosen a bit but he couldn’t fully explain why. All he knew was that Gon—almost like Alluka—was the kind of person who should _always_ be smiling and laughing. He had the natural ability to brighten an entire room with his grin alone.

“Well, I wouldn’t want you to punch me,” Gon said, still giggling. “I’ve been told my head’s pretty hard, and your hands are banged up as it is.”

Killua scrunched up his nose. “Like you said, it’s really not that bad. You’re just worrying unnecessarily.”

“You can never be too safe, Killua!” Gon finished wrapping the bandages, finally releasing Killua’s hand to tie it off at the end. “And...there! You should be good, now.”

Killua wiggled his fingers as he inspected Gon’s handiwork. It wasn’t that bad. He was actually kind of impressed—

Warm fingers brushed against his cheek. Killua jerked backwards, eyes flying open and his heart jumping into his throat.

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Gon said with a grimace, pulling back his outstretched hand. “I should’ve warned you before I did that. But there’s a small cut on your cheek, I have a bandaid for it.”

He waved the bandaid around. Killua stared at it as his galloping heartbeat started to slow.

“I could have put it on,” he said, half a second too slow, and Gon shook his head stubbornly.

“Not easily! You’d need a mirror or something. If you stay still, I’ll just—”

Killua’s heart lurched again. Seeing Gon coming at him straight on like that, his face looming so close to Killua’s...it forcibly reminded Killua of that moment in the alley.

When he’d almost _kissed_ Gon out of sheer impulse.

Gon was still leaning forward. Killua could feel his cheeks radiating heat as he squeaked out, “G-Gon, _no,_ you really don’t have to—!”

Gon’s fingers touched his skin for a heartbeat, just long enough for Killua’s breath to lodge in his throat and his heart to stutter.

And then Gon he was moving away again with that same bright smile on his face. He chirped, “There you go, all done!”

Killua’s mouth hung open, still stuck in the middle of his protest. He shut it quickly and glowered at the beaming Gon.

Gon never really listened to Killua. But it was still irritating just how easily Gon could override Killua’s objections and do whatever the hell he wanted.

“You okay, Killua?” Gon asked. He as smirking now, much to Killua’s annoyance. “You look like you just swallowed a fish. It’s just a bandaid.”

Killua narrowed his eyes at Gon. Who did Gon think he was talking to! “Do you know how irritating that cocky attitude of yours is? Maybe I _will_ punch you, just for the fun of it.”

Gon completely ignored Killua’s response. He scooted closer to Killua, so that their knees brushed, and his smug smile only grew when Killua stiffened at the contact.

“You know,” Gon said conversationally. “If you ask me, it _almost_ looked like you thought I was gonna kiss you.”

_...what?!_

“You—You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Killua hissed, his face in flames. He couldn’t handle the way Gon was gazing at him. It was a knowing kind of look, but eerily fixated. Intense enough to make Killua’s stomach twist and churn. “You’re just like making shit up to get a reaction out of me.”

“Hmm. I guess that’s true.... But _you_ were the one who almost kissed _me_ back in the alleyway, Mr. Zoldyck. So maybe I’m not so delusional after all.”

Killua’s muscles locked in place at the foreign sound of his last name rolling off Gon’s tongue. Before he could do much more than blink though, Gon was up and out of his chair. He packed up the first aid kit and then turned to give the still-frozen Killua a bright smile.

“I’m gonna hand this back.” He shook the first aid kit. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

He darted off, leaving Killua alone at the wooden table with nothing to keep him company but his own thoughts.

Killua ground his teeth together until his jaw ached. “Dammit, Gon,” he swore under his breath, rubbing one scarlet cheek with a scowl. The Hunter always left Killua reeling, the feeling much like having a rug yanked out from under his feet. He never knew what to expect from Gon, much less how to respond.  

He looked over his shoulder. Gon was darting between the old tables and chairs, skipping around the very few customers who had arrived early in the afternoon. He would reach the bar in no time. Still, his occupation with returning the first aid kit should be enough for Killua to do what _he_ needed to do.

Killua glanced back down at his left wrist. The bracelet fastened there was plain—a thin, leather-like material woven in a braid pattern with two beige and one purple beads in its center.  He twisted the center purple bead on the bracelet, brow furrowed in concentration. It opened with a small _click,_ and fell open to reveal a small jack plug.

Killua pulled out his phone and gently pushed the plug into the headphones opening.

_Beep!_

For a few seconds, there was nothing. Then pink words started to flash across the dark screen. Killua quickly checked to make sure Gon was still preoccupied—the young man was talking animatedly to the bartender, that dazzling smile noticeable even from this distance—before turning back to read the message.

_Hello, Killua._

Killua smiled, chest tight but somehow light at the same time. He used his thumbs to respond:

_Hello, Nanika. Can you do something for me?_

A few seconds passed, long enough for Killua's heartbeat to echo loudly in his ears. Then—

_Aye._

Killua let out a short breath, relieved. He didn’t exactly expect her to say no, of course. She _never_ said no to Killua, because he was special. But it was still a nerve wracking experience all the same.

 _Erase my presence from any electronic footage in the area,_ he typed out. _I don't want Milluki or anyone else related to the family to find out I was here._

_Aye._

Killua paused, thinking. Then he added, _Can you do the same thing for a man called Gon Freecss? He's a—_

Warmth prickled across Killua's cheeks. What _should_ he call Gon? A friend? That sounded way too familiar for someone he met only a week ago. But...Gon wasn't a stranger. Not really. And it was impossible for Killua to call him an 'acquaintance', not after he'd told Gon about his and Alluka's tortured past.

Killua stared at the screen. His heart felt heavy again and the plastic phone case groaned under the strain of his grip.

This thing wasn't Nanika. Nanika was gone, and no one could bring her back.

But this incredible invention of hers was programmed to talk like her, to have the same personality as hers, and to recognize those who she’d known when she was alive. These beads were Nanika’s last and greatest creation—it could get into a computer, any system, no matter the protection surrounding such equipment, and it would perform any task assigned to it. It was the only reason why he and Alluka hadn’t been caught by their family yet.

The only catch to Nanika’s invention was that it responded to Alluka’s voice and instructions, and hers alone. Nanika had programed it that way on purpose, and that was why Alluka carried most of the beads containing the invention in her hair.

But Killua had been the most important person in Nanika’s life, other than Alluka. The ‘Nanika’ beads would do anything Killua asked too, but no one in the Zoldyck family knew that. It was his and Alluka’s secret. He carried three of the ‘Nanika’ beads in this bracelet just in case something happened to Alluka’s beads.

Killua also wore a smiley-faced ring on his left pinky. It matched Alluka’s hair beads, but the ring was just a fake. A simple decoration, a clever decoy. He and Alluka had made the ring just in case of an emergency, so that if Alluka ever lost her beads the enemy would also take Killua’s decoy-ring instead of the true beads in his bracelet—

"You okay, Killua?"

Killua started. His head snapped up to find Gon standing in front of him, a puzzled look on his handsome face.

"G-Gon," Killua stuttered out. He hadn't even noticed Gon’s return, lost in the thoughts of the past, and Killua felt like an idiot. "S-Sorry, I was just--"

He looked at his phone again. The lone word _'Aye'_ was displayed across the screen and the knot in Killua's chest loosened.

He hadn't finished explaining, but Nanika would take care of his wish anyway.

"Killua?" Gon repeated. This time he sounded worried, concerned. "Is something wrong with your phone?"

"Nope." Killua tugged bead out of his phone with another small _click_. "It's all good. Would you mind putting this back on me?"

“Oh, sure.” Gon carefully took the bracelet from him and wrapped it around Killua’s left wrist. The gentleness with how he screwed the beads back together surprised Killua. Gon was always surprising him, though. He was more complex than Killua would have ever guessed upon their initial meeting—gentle and loud, happy but pained, honest and blunt to a fault...he was a mix of contradictions that Killua was still struggling to understand.

Gon asked, brow wrinkled in concentration, “By the way, do you know how much longer we have to wait for Kurapika?”

“Mm...not sure. He wasn’t expecting us and he’s a busy guy, being the lead bodyguard to the head of the Nostrade family and all.”

Gon hummed thoughtfully at that. He finished fixing Nanika back around Killua’s wrist, the tips of his fingers lightly brushing over the veins in Killua’s wrist and hovering there. Killua glanced up at Gon with confusion but Gon’s gaze was dazed, unfocused.

And the way he cradled Killua’s hand in his made Killua’s face and ears hot with self-awareness.

He gently pulled his arm back. “Th-Thanks, Gon.”

“Huh? Oh, no problem.” Gon smiled, slipping out of the strange, glossy stare he’d been giving Killua. “You know, I was thinking—”

Killua groaned. “Gon, please, your ideas always end in disasters.”

“Not this one! It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

Killua glanced him over suspiciously. “I won’t believe that until I hear what this idea of yours is.”

Gon laughed, gold eyes crinkling at the edges. “You’re funny, Killua. I was just going to ask you to dance.”

He held out his hand to Killua, bending over slightly in a low bow. Killua stared owlishly at Gon’s offering. His heart had skipped a beat and was now pounding in his ears.

“D-Do you even know how to dance?” Killua asked weakly, a fluttering kind of anticipation starting to swell in his gut.

“Of course! I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t know how. So? What do you say, Ki-llu-a?” Gon wiggled his eyebrows and Killua snorted at the ridiculous look on his face. “You said so yourself, we have some time to kill before Kurapika gets here.”

Killua bit the inside of his cheek to hold back a begrudging grin. Gon sure liked to make the most of any opportunity given to him.

It couldn’t hurt to give into Gon, if only just this once.

Gon’s expression lit up when Killua slid his hand into Gon’s. The Hunter wasted no time in dragging Killua out of his chair and pulling him through the maze of worn-out tables and chairs, to the corner of the barroom and the small dancefloor located there.

Gon stopped, turning to face Killua was a radiant beam. He lifted their still-linked hands into the air, then slipped his free arm around Killua’s waist. He tugged Killua close, until their chests were pressed flush against each other, and Killua’s breath caught in his throat at the close proximity. Gon’s hand was warm around Killua’s, their faces just inches away from each other. Killua could make out each individual freckle scattered across Gon’s round cheeks—

“You look nervous, Killua.”

Killua blinked out of daze. It was only then that he noticed Gon’s smile had changed, shifting from a genuine joy to one of sly mischievousness.

“You,” Killua said flatly, letting Gon guide him in small circles in time with the quiet background music. “Must be blind in addition to crazy, then.”

Gon’s eyes glinted. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Why the hell would I be nervous to dance with _you?”_

“I dunno. Why would you?”

“I asked you first, smartass.”

Gon chuckled. He continued to gaze directly into Killua’s eyes, sending shivers up Killua’s spine. “Guess you did. But I think I was wrong.”

Killua rose his eyebrows. “About what this time?”

“About you being nervous. You actually seem to know what you’re doing, Killua!”

Killua snorted. “Thanks, Gon. I’m flattered.”

“I’m being serious, though!” He looked at Killua curiously as they spun around the tiny dancefloor. “Have you you danced a lot?”

Unwanted memories flooded Killua’s mind: heavy suits made from expensive, itchy material, his white hair slicked back with dried-stiff gel, slow and boring music, his father’s large hand guiding him, Illumi’s infinite eyes following his every step and look and _breath—_

“Killua?” Gon prodded. His gentle grip on Killua’s wounded hand tightened slightly, pulling Killua back to the present. Back to Gon and his warm, concerned golden eyes. “Have you...done this before?”

“H-Huh?” Killua blinked. “Oh. Uh, yeah. My...my dad taught me how to dance a while back. I know a lot of dances.” He inwardly winced at how stupid he sounded. _‘I know a lot of dances’?_ Who said that?

But Gon didn’t seem to mind Killlua tripping over his words. He just smiled at Killua, the worried look falling away as he asked in a teasing tone, “Do you know the tango?”

Killua couldn’t help it; he laughed. Gon’s grin seemed to grow impossibly larger at the sound. “Is that a no, then?”

 _“No,_ I do know it. I’m just not so sure that _you_ know it, that’s all. And it takes two to tango, Gon.”

“Hey!”

They both laughed together, tripping over each other’s feet in their momentary lapse of concentration. Killua accidentally stumbled into Gon and Gon tried to support him as best he could without falling over. The breathlessness that came from their giggling left Killua feeling giddy and buzzed, both content and happy in Gon’s strong arms.

But then the giggling quieted down and Killua was staring at Gon’s bright smile, the Hunter’s freckled face being a little too close to his own. It made Killua think again back to the alleyway, to their almost-kiss, to how Gon had been prepared to sacrifice himself for Killua despite Killua’s lies and deception.

And _that_ was the exact moment guilt crashed over Killua like a tidal wave.

“I—I’m sorry,” he said lamely and Gon cocked his head curiously.

“For what, Killua?”

“For...for lying. For not telling you who Alluka and I really were. For you finding out—like _that.”_

It was hard for Killua to get the words out. He didn’t like confessing his feelings, even if he was just admitting a part of the mess that was his emotions. He didn’t fully understand why he felt so sorry, either, beyond the fact that Gon _deserved_ to know the truth.

He’d been honest with Killua. Killua should’ve been more honest with him, before shit went down between Bomber and his gang.

But Gon didn’t seem to be bothered by all of that. He simply shrugged, saying, “It’s okay. I’m not angry at you or anything, Killua. Really.”

Surprise caused Killua’s heart to stutter. “You’re not mad?”

“No, ‘course not! You have your own life, your own secrets. There’s probably a bunch more I don’t know. But that’s a good thing, because that just means there’s lots more I still get to learn about you!”

Before Killua could begin to process what Gon said—beyond heavily blushing, that was—Gon was steamrolling ahead again, “You were just trying to survive and leave your family behind you. I can understand that. In fact, now that I know your background, it makes sense why you were able to kick my butt a few days ago!”

A snort burst out of Killua. His chest felt ten times lighter, the heavy tension he’d been carrying around slowly starting to lesson. “You’re a good fighter, Gon,” he admitted. “I’m sure you’ll be able to defeat me one day. In the far future, probably but still. The possibility is there.”

Gon’s eyes were sparkling. “Wow, what a compliment!”

“Shut up!” Killua laughed again, the retort holding no bite. Gon joined in and squeezed Killua’s fingers lightly. His face was glowing and the sight made Killua’s stomach flip.

“Killua,” Gon said, the way he pronounced Killua’s name sounding particularly soft and gentle. “Listen, we—we all have pasts we’re not proud of. Trust me. But that doesn’t change the way I think about you.”

“It doesn’t?” Killua was almost too scared to hope. For what, though, he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Yeah! It’s just a last name. Knowing that doesn’t make me like you any less.”

Killua’s breath lodged in his throat. “How...how much you _like me?”_

“Mhm!” Gon hummed brightly. He spun Killua around in a circle and Killua yelped. He dug his fingers into Gon’s hand and side, desperate to keep balance despite the unexpected turn.

But Gon’s words were still ringing in his eardrums, causing a deep flush to bloom across both his cheeks.

Killua didn’t want to look too deeply into it. He was almost _scared_ to look too deep, because if Gon meant, well, that he actually... _had feelings_ for Killua...what would it mean, for Gon, for Killua? Would it change everything? Would it change nothing? Was Killua just making a fool of himself by overthinking this?

Killua didn’t know. But how could he _not_ look too deeply into the meaning behind Gon’s words,  especially when Gon said it like _that,_ and was gazing at Killua with such fond and gentle eyes? It was a look Killua had seen before, sprinkled across their many interactions over the past week. But he still couldn’t decipher it even now.

So Killua went for the safe option. He said weakly, “Are you ever not trying to embarrass me?”

Gon snickered in return. “It’s only embarrassing to you, Killua.”

“W-Well, that’s because I’m the only one you say it to!”

Gon’s lips twitched upwards into a crooked grin. It was the kind of grin that made Killua’s stomach squirm and his throat tighten.

“I guess you must be pretty special, then,” Gon said simply.

Killua stared at him. He didn’t know how to respond, Gon always knew just what to say to leave him totally and utterly speechless. And Gon knew exactly what effect he had on Killua, if the satisfied smug look on Gon’s face was anything to go by.

“...and what about Bisky?” Killua asked hesitantly. The woman’s name had been lurking in the back of Killua’s mind ever since Bomber mentioned her. It was beyond frustrating to be left in the dark and wondering just who she was, what she meant to Gon.

Even _more_ frustrating was just how irritating her relationship with Gon made Killua! No matter how many times he’d told himself to not care and that she was none of his business, his mind returned to her every time.

Gon frowned at Killua’s question. “What about her?”

“Was she special to you, too?”

Gon’s expression morphed into one of thoughtfulness. “Hm. I mean, yeah, in a way. She looked after me for a long time, and I like her a lot! But I don’t get what you’re—” understanding filtered into Gon’s eyes, followed immediately by something all too teasing, “—ohhhhh, I see what’s happening.”

Killua resisted the urge to snatch his hands out of Gon’s and shrink away. “See, what?”

Gon said, in a sing-song voice, “You’re jealous~”

A hot flush burned across Killua’s face in an instant. “I am _not!”_

Gon’s grin only grew. “Mhm. Sure, Killua. Whatever you say—”

 _“Gon,”_ Killua growled, only becoming more agitated and the very thrilled expression on Gon’s face. It was infuriating, and absolutely not true! He was just curious, that’s it!

“It’s okay, Killua, you don’t have to say anything.” He lifted his hand off Killua’s waist and gave Killua’s shoulder a hearty pat. “I know how embarrassing stuff like that can be for someone like you.”

“Gon, I swear, if you don’t _shut up—”_

“Bisky was my mentor,” Gon cut him off cleanly, _happily._

Killua blinked as his annoyance washed out of him. Relief took its place, like a balm applied to a burn. “A _—_ A mentor? You mean, she wasn’t your girlfriend or anything?”

Gon smirked. “No. She’s, like, thirty years older than me! Kite sent me off to travel with her for a bit to sharpen my skill set before letting me run loose on the world on my own...but that was before the whole ANTS thing. I ran into Bomber and the others while I was still with Bisky; we stopped them from forcibly taking the cards they were hunting, ‘cause they were hurting a lot of people in the process.”

“Oh,” Killua said, feeling more than a little stupid. He’d let Bisky bother him so much, and yet she was Gon’s _mentor._ Ugh. “Have you, uh...ever had a girlfriend before, then? O-Or boyfriend?”

Gon cocked his head. There was an all too familiar gleam in his eyes again. “Have _you?”_

“Huh?” Killua wrinkled his nose at Gon’s question. His cheeks were growing hot, skin tingling. “What’re you asking me that for? I asked you first!”

“You’ve been asking questions for a while! It’s my turn now.”

Killua snorted and rolled his eyes. Of course Gon would see that as a logical response.

“...yeah, I have,” he admitted. He could feel Gon’s gaze resting heavy on his face and did his best to ignore it. “Not many, and nothing ever serious. I couldn’t have anyone important in my life besides Alluka, not with the whole Zoldyck thing. But I’ve had a few fun times, with a few people.”

Gon hummed in what seemed to be understanding as Killua paused. He peaked at Gon’s thoughtful expression and curiosity tugged at his heart. “So…what about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. I answered, so now it’s your turn. Have you ever had anyone before? Anyone special?”

“Hmm. Kind of?” Killua’s heart shuddered but Gon continued casually, “But I’m not sure if I would call her that, though. We only dated for two weeks while she was fighting with her actual boyfriend, and when they got back together she kind of forgot all about me.”

“…what the hell,” Killua said flatly, trying not to let the relief show on his face. He shouldn’t be shocked, really. This was _Gon_ he was talking to. “That doesn’t even sound like a relationship, Gon.”

“I know!” Gon said happily and Killua resisted the urge to slap himself. “That’s why I don’t really count it as one?”

“You didn’t love her, then?” Killua asked, heart in his mouth.

“Oh, no!” Gon looked almost offended at the idea. Seeing his reaction caused all the tension to drain out of Killua’s body. “I mean, she’s my friend and I care about her! But, no. I didn’t love her. Not in that way. I’ve never had that with anyone, actually. No one’s ever caught my attention for long enough…until recently, that is.”

Killua suddenly felt very, very warm. He had a good idea of just who exactly Gon was talking about in this instant. “Oh, y-yeah?”

“Mhm.” Gon’s gaze was hooked onto Killua’s face again, those intense eyes digging into his flushed skin, and Killua had to will himself not to run away. Because all this talk about feelings and love and relationships sounded a little too close to a confession for Killua’s liking, and he had absolutely no idea what to do if Gon actually—

“What about you, Killua?” Gon asked, his voice slicing easily through the whirlwind of Killua’s thoughts. “Have you ever loved anyone?”

“Love?” Killua echoed, thinking back to all the brief flings he’d ever had over the past few years. “No, not…in that way. I mean, I love Alluka of course but that’s not the same. I’m not sure if I believe in that kind of love?”

“Not at all?” Gon asked. He looked shocked now.

“Not really? I’m sure my parents loved each other in their own messed up way. But I don’t want what they had.” Killua looked down at their feet as they swayed. The visible disappointment in Gon’s expression made his heart twist for a reason he couldn’t name. “I’m not sure if true love like the one in fairy tales even exists. How can anyone be that happy, have that much love, for a stranger? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe you just need to meet the right person,” Gon suggested, a hint of hope filtering into his tone, and Killua huffed.

“Maybe I’m being realistic,” he said back, lifting his gaze and raising his eyebrows at the same time. Gon grinned, opening his mouth—

But then a new voice interrupted, “More realistic than coming here, I hope.”

They both started at the unexpected voice. Killua’s head whipped around to see Kurapika heading their way from across the dancefloor. A flicker of joy sparked in his heart at the sight of his old friend, a person he considered part of his family despite not having seen the other in years.

“Kurapika,” he said as a smile growing on his lips. He dropped Gon’s hands to face Kurapika fully, and a strange emotion flashed across Gon’s eyes—something almost sad, disappointed. But the look disappeared in an instant and Killua didn’t have the time nor privacy to ask Gon about it.

Not when Kurapika was in front of him, at least.

Killua stepped into Kurapika's outstretched arms without hesitation. They hugged each other tightly, with Kurapika’s cheek pressed up against Killua’s fluff of hair and Killua’s hands digging into the back of Kurapika’s expensive-looking suit. Killua’s arms easily wrapped around Kurapika’s bony frame and Killua breathed out quietly. Kurapika was still thin as ever, it seemed. Leorio would’ve thrown a fit if he was here.

Kurapika took a step back, holding Killua by his shoulders. He looked Killua over quickly with tired eyes and a pinch in his brow. Killua didn’t know what he was looking for, but Kurapika himself looked the same as Killua had last seen him: a bob of dirty blond hair, pale skin, a steady gray gaze. It was like no time had passed despite their last conversation having been years ago.

“Killua,” Kurapika finally said after a lengthy pause. “It is good to see you.”

Killua gave his best smile in turn. He could hear the ‘but’ hanging in the air between them, and decided not to acknowledge it. “You, too. Still bodyguarding?”

Kurapika raised an eyebrow. “Yes, if you must know.”

“Made any progress on that special case of yours?”

“Some,” Kurapika answered vaguely. “That cannot be why you are here today, though. I highly doubt you would risk coming to Yorbia just for some idle chit chat.”

Killua’s grin turned to a grimace. Right to the point, huh? “Uh, yeah. You’re right.”

“Then why have you sought me out? I haven’t seen nor spoken with you since you left. You _know_ how dangerous this is.”

“No one knows that better than me, Kurapika. I just—”

Kurapika’s gaze shifted. Killua didn’t need to know what he was looking at considering the way Kurapika’s eyes narrowed.

“And who is this?” Kurapika asked, a tone of formality and wariness entering his voice.

“He’s the reason I’m here. Gon—” Killua turned to beckon Gon over, and Gon quickly moved to stand at his side, “—this is Kurapika Kurta. Kurapika, this is Gon Freecss.”

Kurapika glanced over Gon for only a brief moment before turning back to Killua. Completely ignoring Gon’s bright smile and outstretched hand, Kurapika asked, “Does this man have any ties to your family, Killua?”

Killua nearly laughed at the insulted expression on Gon’s face. The Hunter spoke loudly, “I do _not!_ And I never will!”

Kurapika raised his eyebrows. “He knows?” he asked, aiming his question directly to Killua again.

Killua held back a wince at the disapproval layered onto his words. “Yeah...he, uh, found out when we got into that fight. The one your men interrupted?”

“I see. Well, Hunters always cause problems, no matter if they’re here or in their home country.”

Killua looked over at Gon out of instinct, but Gon was glaring at Kurapika. Killua didn’t like the gleam in his eyes. Gon said angrily, “And what about _you?_ Do you have ties to Killua’s family?”

Kurapika looked unimpressed at Gon’s outburst. “Of course I do. The Zoldycks rule Padokea, and we are the ruling family in Saherta. We’re next door to each other. It would be impossible not to be connected in some way.” He shifted his gaze back to Killua. “Which is exactly why you should not be here.”

“I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t necessary,” Killua said in as soothing a tone as possible. Kurapika still didn’t look convinced, so Killua added, “Trust me, Kurapika. I’ve already wiped everything.”

Killua ignored the confused look Gon shot his way. He couldn’t explain Nanika. It was the one thing he could never trust to anyone but those who already knew.

And with that, Kurapika finally wilted with a sigh. “Alright. What is it you want, then?”

“We need your help to locate someone’s remains,” Killua said quietly. At Kurapika’s quirked eyebrow, he said, “It’s a Hunter. He died during the ANTS Extermination.”

The confusion in Kurapika’s face washed away to understanding. “I see. And you couldn’t find this on your own?”

Killua shook his head. “Alluka tried.”

Kurapika sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. Killua understood his friend’s reaction fully; if Alluka couldn’t find out the information they needed with Nanika, then there must be some kind of paper trail. And only the Mafia would have the resources for something like that.

“What’s the name?” Kurapika asked, eyes still squeezed shut.

“Kite,” Gon was the one who spoke up this time. There was a tension in his voice that hadn’t been there before, and Killua unthinkingly reached out to grab his hand.

Gon’s head turned to stare at Killua. Killua blushed but didn’t pull away.

He had meant what he said before. They would get to the end of this, one way or another, and it was important that Gon knew that.

“You better follow me,” Kurapika said and gestured to the stairs hidden at the corner of the bar. “I’m not guaranteeing anything, but...that name _does_ sound familiar.”

Gon perked up. “It does?”

“Yes. But that usually doesn’t mean anything good in this profession.”

“I don’t care about that!” Gon said passionately. “As long as I can find out where Kite is, that’s all that matters!”

Kurapika nodded. “As you wish.”

 

**-o0o-**

 

When they finally left Nostrade’s bar after several long hours, it was dark. Evening had fallen quietly and peacefully upon the city while Killua and Gon had been talking to Kurapika, and now it was almost night.

And Killua was _tired._ His eyes were heavy and his head buzzed with too many hours of talking, his brain filled to the brim with information he didn’t know how to absorb. He shivered in the cooler night air and wrapped Gon’s jacket around him more tightly. All he wanted was to lay down for a long, _long_ time, and not think.

Gon must have noticed his exhaustion. “Are you okay, Killua?” he asked, sounding concerned.

“Yeah. That was just…” He rubbed his forehead, brows knitted. “A lot of information.”

Gon nodded. _There’s circles under his eyes, too_ , Killua noticed as the Hunter said, “It’s been a long day.”

“That is an understatement.”

Something vibrated in his jeans and Killua reached into his back pocket to take out his phone. There were a good number of unread texts from Alluka, asking if they had reached the city safely and how they were doing. He smiled slightly as he skimmed through her messages. Alluka always brought warmth into his heart, even when she was miles and miles away.

“What’re you smiling at?” Gon asked and Killua glanced up to see Gon grinning at him.

Butterflies fluttered inside Killua’s chest. “It’s Alluka. She wanted to know how we were getting on. Just let me text her, and then we can get to that safe house Kurapika was talking about.”

Gon perked up a bit. “And get food?”

Killua chuckled. “Yes, and get food.” He’d forgotten about that in the gravity of the situation.

Turning back to his phone, he opened Alluka’s last text.

Alluka: _are you okay???_

Killua typed back: _yes, we’re fine. Kurapika found Kite._

He didn’t have to wait more then five seconds before the three typing dots appeared on Alluka’s side of the chat.

Alluka: _that’s wonderful!_

Killua grimaced. _Not...really. It turns out that the government took some of the Hunters’ bodies back to the Capital with them. We’re not sure why. Maybe for experiments, or just to have them as trophies, or a warning to those Hunters who still live. But Kite was one of the bodies taken._

There was a pause. Then Alluka’s next text flashed across Killua’s screen—

Alluka: Brother _, are you saying that we’d have to infiltrate the Capital to get Kite back?_

Killua took a deep breath. _Yes. I think so._

Alluka: _But that’s impossible!_

Killua: _Not exactly. Apparently the President just got engaged, there’s going to be loads of parties to celebrate. And the palace itself is hosting the biggest party of all._

Alluka: _I don’t know Brother...this sounds really dangerous. We never agreed to this kind of risk when we teamed up with Gon. Our family might even be going to this party._

Killua: _I know. I’m not sure if that’s what we’re going to do, we have to talk to Gon about it more._

“Killua!”

Killua looked up. Gon was smiling, pointing at his phone. He said happily, “I found a good restaurant nearby! Do you want to order now?”

“Yeah,” Killua said. He could feel the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, reminding him that he’d had nothing to eat all day except for that chocolate car earlier in Leorio’s car. “Just let me finish this.”

Gon nodded and Killua quickly texted Alluka: _Me and Gon are going to get some food. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow when we get back._

Alluka: _Okay, Brother. Stay safe…_

Killua: _You too._

 

**-o0o-**

 

The safe house Kurapika had told them about was perfect. Close to the parking garage where Leorio’s car was stashed, close to the restaurant where they’d ordered food...it was even walking distance to the Nostrade bar. The safe house itself was actually a small two story brick building wedged between a dozen other brick buildings, totally inconspicuous and innocent looking.

And the best part of the safe house was the people who owned it.

“Master Killua.” Canary’s smile when she opened the front door was wide and one-hundred percent genuine. She clasped Killua’s hands in hers and squeezed them tightly. “I’m so happy to see you again.”

She clearly meant it. Killua’s throat tightened at the sincerity in her voice and he swallowed thickly. “Y-You too. It’s been a long time. But, how did you get here? Kurapika didn’t say—”

“After you left, we requested to change families.” Amane appeared behind Canary’s shoulder and a mixed rush of surprise and joy surged inside of Killua. It had been ages since he’d last seen the bodyguards he’d been close with during his life as the Zoldyck heir. Neither Amane nor Canary had been assigned to Killua, but he had a distant sort of friendship with them all the same.

“Amane,” he said warmly. “I can’t believe you’re here too!”

“Well, we came here together.” She and Canary shared a stolen look, ending with Amane blushing lightly. Killua grinned, glad to see that their relationship had advanced since leaving his family.

“And, who is this?” Canary asked as she glanced over Killua’s shoulder to where Gon stood with arms full of food.

“Oh—this is Gon.” Killua stepped to the side so Gon could join him on the front door landing. “Gon, this is Canary and Amane. They worked for my family a while back. They’re friends.”

Gon bobbed his head, an easy smile on his lips. “Nice to meet you both.”

Canary smiled back slightly before gesturing them in. “We’ll show you upstairs. Please follow me.” Gon and Killua did as they were told, entering the small residence and trailing after Canary as she led them some stairs. Killua heard a quiet _click_ behind them as Amane closed then locked the front door.

“I’m sorry that we don’t have a room for you inside,” Canary apologized, glancing over her shoulder while they walked down a hallway on the second landing. “But it’s very comfortable on the roof, I assure you. Amane and I have slept up there a few times ourselves....”

This time it was Canary’s turn to blush, and Killua held back a smile. He reassured her, “I’m sure whatever you have is fine. We just need a mattress to rest on, really.”

Canary nodded, then turned to face forward again. They’d reached the end of the hallway to find another door and Canary unlocked it with a key in her pocket. The door swung open to reveal a second set of stairs. These must lead to the roof.

Canary once again led the way and was thus the one to push out the final door on top of the stairs. Seconds later Killua was hit with a wave of fresh air and the faint sound of cars. Canary moved onto the landing, getting out of the way for Killua and Gon. Killua climbed the final few steps to reach the rooftop patio and paused, breathing heavy.

Killua’s jaw dropped at the sight that greeted him. Amane and Canary had turned their roof into an outdoor garden of sorts: rows and rows of plants grew on towering metal shelves and hung off the brick walls outlining the roof on either side. Bright blends of greens and reds and blues stood out in sharp contrast against the night sky. Strings of fairy lights were draped across the squarely-shaped landing like some kind of illuminated ceiling while fireflies floated around in the early-summer humid air.

It was beautiful, a source of life and beauty in the middle of a concrete city. The garden reminded him of his sister, for some reason. Alluka would have _loved_ this place.

“Wow!” Gon’s awed tone was one-hundred percent genuine, and Killua turned around to find Gon gawking at the garden just as he himself had done. “This is amazing! Did two do this all by yourselves?”

“Yes,” said Amane, who’d reappeared in the open doorway just behind Gon. “It was a lot of work, but I believe the payoff is worth it. If you follow us, we’ll show you were you’ll be sleeping.”

She disappeared into one of the rows plants and Gon and Killua quickly followed. After a short walk down the length of the roof, they came across an opening in the plants. There splayed across the cement was a mattress covered with sheets and a lightning-bolt cover. A few chairs and small tables had been pushed off to the side to make room for it, as if this had once been a sitting area before the mattress’ arrival. And it was at that exact moment when Killua realized—

There was only one mattress. Which meant he and Gon would be _sharing._

Killua’s face grew hot. He wasn’t flustered at the idea of sharing a bed with Gon because that would be _stupid._ They were just resting here. That was it. And yet he could feel his heart beating just a bit faster and his skin tingling in anticipation.

“It’s perfect,” he said to Canary and Amane even as he fought down the urge to ask if there was another bed somewhere inside the house. It was very generous of Canary and Amane to provide this for them at all. Sharing with Gon was way better than sleeping in Leorio’s car or out on the street. “Thank you, really. Both of you.”

They bowed simultaneously, causing Killua’s blush to deepen in his mortification.

“Anything for you, Master Killua,” Canary responded and Killua grimaced. He hated being called ‘Master’. He wasn’t master of _anyone._

He started, “I—I’m not—”

“Sleep well,” Amane said, a tone of finality in her voice. “If you are in need of anything, don’t hesitate to let us know.”

And with that, the two vanished into the garden once more. Killua stared after them stupidly for a solid thirty seconds before a loud sound to his right jolted him out of his reverie.

Gon straightened, having just placed his own bag on one of the plastic chairs. “You should put your stuff down, you know,” he teased, a smile hidden in those honey eyes.

“Y-Yeah. I guess.” Killua dropped his own bag on the ground, to the left side of the mattress, and looked around. It was a clear night, with the full moon hanging high in the midnight sky while stars twinkled at them from a distance. There were few clouds, so they should be free of rain for tonight...

“What are you thinking about?” Gon asked softly.

Killua glanced at him from the corner of his eyes—Gon was standing a few steps away, watching Killua while Killua watched the sky—and shrugged to brush off the sparks racing up his spine from Gon’s intense stare.

“Y’know just...stuff,” Killua said lamely.

“Stuff, like…?”

“Alluka,” Killua said instantly, and it was true. He was always thinking about her. “Nanika. You, and Kite. My place in all this.” He gestured broadly with his hand.

Gon laughed dryly. “That’s a lot of stuff.”

“Told you.”

Gon’s smile fell a bit. He looked almost hesitant as he said, “Killua. Are you...are you mad?”

Killua frowned. “Huh? What would I be mad about?” If anyone should be mad, it should be _Gon._ Killua had lied to Gon for so long. And he was _still_ keeping secrets from him, even now.

“About the Hunters,” Gon said shortly. His expression was unreadable, making Killua’s stomach twist uncomfortably.

“No?” he said, sounding as confused as he felt. “Why would you think I’d be mad about that?”

“They attacked us because of me. They almost _killed you,_ because of me.”

Killua rolled his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. We all have our enemies, Gon. Yours just happened to have sucky timing.” He raised his gaze back to the stars. They were unusually clear tonight, especially for a city sky. “They almost killed me, sure, but they almost killed you, too. And they didn’t end up killing either of us in the end.”

“But—”

“No buts!” Killua said sharply. “We promised each other that we’d get to the end of this Kite thing, didn’t we? Fighting against those guys to complete our mission was just a part of that. We’re going to finish this no matter what, and some stupid Hunters trying to press their luck won’t change anything!”

The stars shone and winked back at him, as if agreeing with him. Killua swallowed thickly, eyes prickling. _If there was any possibility Nanika could be found,_ Killua thought to himself, _I’d want someone to do the same for—_

Something warm grabbed Killua’s shoulder, and then he was shoved up against the brick wall and seeing stars. He wheezed as the air _whooshed_ out of his lungs and a sharp sting spread up and down his back. He couldn’t find the breath to speak before two warm hands were framing his face and an even warmer mouth was on his.

Gon was kissing him.

Killua’s eyes bulged. His heart stopped beating, then twisted and grew and throbbed until it felt like it would burst, because Gon was—Gon _was kissing him,_ with soft, intent lips, those brown eyelashes brushing freckled and flushed cheeks as his golden eyes screwed shut. The warmth from Gon’s calloused fingers was sinking into Killua’s cheeks while his body pinned Killua’s flat against the brick. The warmth of Gon’s mouth and hands and muscles only added to the heat of Killua’s already dark blush as he struggled to understand what was happening.

But Killua _couldn’t_ understand, because the only thing he could focus on was the way Gon was kissing him. This wasn’t a simple, sweet kiss to try out the feeling. He knew what those kisses were like, and that wasn’t what Gon was doing with him. This kiss spelled _want_ ; it was full of purpose, teeming with pent up need and yearning that was only now revealing itself.

This kiss was _desire._

Something hot coiled in Killua’s chest. It gnawed at his lungs and made his heart ache, bringing to life a strange heady pulsing that Killua had never felt before. He distantly heard a voice in his head shrieking at him _to do something,_ do it now, before it’s too late—!

So, Killua closed his eyes, and kissed Gon back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11/3/2018  
> It finally happened, Gon finally kissed Killua!!! :DDDD
> 
> I'm actually not sure how I feel about this chapter? There's a lot of stuff that I'm still if-y about, but it's as good as it's gonna get and I owe you guys a chapter. I hope everything makes sense with Nanika being a kind of computer program, and that Killua has both fake Nanika-beads in his ring but real Nanika-beads in his bracelet. Sketchxhunter on tumblr actually helped me come up with that idea when she drew the cover art for chapter 4 which is pretty cool!
> 
> Sketch is the one who also drew the cover art for this chapter, and all the other chapters, and I can't thank her enough because I am constantly in awe of her talent and kindness. Thank you also for the huge amount of love I've gotten for this story since my last update, I hope you all are enjoying this story and it's progression as much as I enjoy writing it. The next time I'll update is on the one year anniversary of this fic being published (December 26th) which also happens to be my birthday! :D So I'll see you all again soon, thank you for reading~
> 
> [[My tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)
> 
> EDIT: [Trashsketch](https://twitter.com/trashsketch) drew the beautiful art for my birthday so credit goes to her for the picture above of Gon kissing Killua!!! She's absolutely amazing and is so kind, please go check out her art on twitter/tumblr <3


	9. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you’ve been wanting to kiss me so badly,” he started and lifted his head to give Gon a sly smirk. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?”
> 
> Gon’s breathing hitched and his eyes grew impossibly large. For a moment, he seemed too stunned to move. 
> 
> "Ki-Killua. Are you..." He swallowed thickly. "Do you mean it? Because, I—I don't know if I'll be able to hold back, if you're saying what I think you—“
> 
> "Gon." Killua said sharply. He was tired of the word games, of thinking. He wanted Gon to take it all away. He wanted to drown in Gon's warmth. _"Kiss me."_

Kissing Gon was everything Killua ever wanted, and nothing he’d ever known he needed.  
  
Gon's mouth was warm on his, his body even warmer as he pressed Killua flat into the bricks at Killua's back. His hands cupped Killua's face with a mix of gentleness and desperation—just like his kiss.  
  
And the strangest thing was that _Killua didn't care._ He didn’t care that Gon had kissed him without his permission, or was trapping him against the wall with absolutely zero space to breathe or escape. He didn’t want to escape. He just wanted to submit to Gon, to let the other do as he pleased. So Killua returned Gon's kiss with equal passion, the backs of his eyelids painting the world black so he could focus solely on Gon because Gon was _everywhere_. Killua was lost in a daze of Gon and his lips and skin and _body—_  

But then Gon yanked himself away from Killua, jolting as badly as if he'd been burned, and Killua sucked in a much needed gasp of air. The world was spinning around him and it took a few unsteady breaths before his vision focused. When it did Killua’s eyes landed immediately on Gon, who had turned white as the moon.  
  
For a few impossibly long seconds, the pair stared at each other. Killua couldn't tell what Gon was thinking; the Hunter's eyes were huge, and his lips—the lips that had just been hungrily chasing Killua's—were twisted into a thin line. Killua couldn't read him at all, but he so rarely could.  
  
Gon was an enigma. He had told himself this many times before, and this moment was no exception.  
  
"I—" Gon's brow furrowed in a deep frown as he dropped his gaze to glare down at his sneakers. His voice sounded strangely quiet, but maybe that was just because Killua's ears were filled with the sound of his own thudding heart and heavy breaths. He felt like he'd just run a marathon. Possibly the most exhilarating, incredible marathon of his entire life.  
  
"I'm sorry," Gon tried again, sounding genuinely upset and simultaneously tortured. He looked so—so _disgusted_ that something twisted sharply in Killua's chest. What was Gon talking about, why did he have that expression on his face?

  
"Why are you sorry?" Killua asked. He was impressed how steady his voice sounded despite how weak his knees were at the moment. The kiss—well, the brief make out session—had truly left him breathless and shaking.  
  
"I shouldn't have done that." Gon shook his head adamantly. "Not without your consent."  
  
Killua blinked once. Then again.  
  
Gon was...he was upset because he hadn't asked for Killua's permission? Really? That was _it?_

  
Killua’s mouth was moving to form his next question before he had properly thought of how to respond, "...do you regret it?"  
  
Gon's head snapped up. The paleness in his cheeks was fading, quickly filling in with the darkness of a blush.  
  
"Wh-What?" the Hunter asked.  
  
"I said," Killua said, a bit louder this time, and pushed himself off the wall to stand at his full height. _"Do you regret it?"_

  
Gon bit his bottom lip. For a moment, Killua almost thought he wasn't going to answer, and that Killua would be left here on the rooftop garden with nothing but a racing heart and a chaotic whirlwind of emotions.  
  
"No," Gon said finally and looked directly at Killua with a challenging stare. It was a look that tore the remaining air out of Killua's lungs. "I don't. I was waiting for you to make a move, first—because I didn't want to force myself on you. But then you said that stuff about sticking together no matter what and, and I just—" his hands curled into fists, like he was trying to hold himself back from grabbing Killua again, "—I just couldn't stop myself in time. And for that I really am sorry, Killua."  
  
"But,” he continued. “I don't regret it. I couldn't, not even if I tried. I've wanted to kiss you for a long, long time, and I won't lie about that."  
  
The confession caused warmth to pool inside Killua’s heart. It overflowed, spreading to the tips of his fingers and all the way down to his feet and Killua’s toes curled as he tried not to smile from the giddy feeling that was swallowing him whole—

  
He didn't get it. Not really. These intense, raging emotions that Gon could pull out of Killua with a few choice words, or a simple but brilliant grin. This raging and wild desire for Gon Freecss washed away all logic and caution that rose up to greet it. And Killua's attempts to deny it and push it down had only seemed to strengthen its intensity. Or maybe it had grown stronger because Killua _knew_ Gon by now, because Killua had opened up to him like Gon had with him, because Killua had trusted Gon when his back was up against the wall—literally.  
  
What Killua felt for Gon was crazy and impulsive and all consuming. And maybe that was why Killua believed it would be okay to indulge in Gon, even if it was only this once. Even if a small part of him felt like he was opening himself up to something he might never recover from.  
  
“Killua?” Gon spoke hesitantly and Killua let the corners of his lips curl upwards.  
  
“If you’ve been wanting to kiss me _so_ badly,” he started and lifted his head to give Gon a sly smirk. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?”  
  
Gon’s breathing hitched and his eyes grew impossibly large. For a moment, he seemed too stunned to move.  
  
"Ki-Killua. Are you..." He swallowed thickly. "Do you mean it? Because, I—I don't know if I'll be able to hold back, if you're saying what I think you—“

  
"Gon." Killua said sharply. He was tired of the word games, of thinking. He wanted Gon to take it all away. He wanted to drown in Gon's warmth. _"Kiss me."_

  
Gon lunged. Killua didn't have the chance to blink before Gon's hands were on his face again, his mouth attacking Killua's fiercely. Killua kissed him back as best he could, clawing at Gon's back before grabbing fistfuls of Gon's spikes and _pulling_.

  
Gon let out a low, breathless moan against Killua's lips. His brows were furrowed, but Killua could tell Gon _liked_ that—the stinging tug of his hair. A thrill raced up Killua’s spine and he kissed Gon even harder.  
  
Gon didn't waste any time. He quickly crowded Killua back against the wall again, their feet nearly tripling over each other in the rush of it all. This time though Gon wrapped his hands around Killua's legs and hefted him _up_ , pinning and supporting him against the wall with his own strength. Killua didn't hesitate to take the initiative; he wound his legs around Gon's middle as tightly as he could and arched into Gon's chest. The brick was cold and rough against his back, but he didn't care. He wanted to be as close as possible to Gon. He wanted to curve around him until he could forget they were two different pieces and not one whole.

“ _Killua—_ “ Gon gasped and Killua kissed the sound off his lips. He'd never heard Gon say his name like that before. All heady and hoarse and tense with pent up desire. Just how long had Gon wanted to kiss him, really?  
  
He opened his mouth when Gon’s tongue swiped his bottom lip. He didn't stop to think about how heated this was getting. He didn't want to, not with Gon's tongue in his mouth and gliding across his own. Killua angled his head and Gon pressed into him deeper. Killua could feel every muscled curve of Gon's chest and arms as Gon crushed him even closer. Their kisses were turning messy and sloppy, but that was fine. As long as Killua got to taste Gon—really, really taste him—that was all that mattered.  
  
Kissing Gon was great. Killua couldn't get enough of it, and neither could Gon, apparently. The Hunter never let up, never slowed down...it was as if he was hunting Killua himself. It wasn’t until Killua's head was spinning in dizzying circles that Gon finally pulled away. And even then Gon just moved to kiss a frenzied path along Killua's jawline and down the slope of his neck.  
  
“ _Ah—_ G-Gon!" Killua panted heavily, clutching the back of Gon's shirt again for something to hold onto. The cool night air felt good against his flushed face, the fairy lights strung across their heads making Gon's brown spikes of hair glow. "Y-You can slow down, y'know..."  
  
He felt himself blush darker at the rough sound of his voice. Had Gon's kiss affected him that much?  
  
"Hmm." Gon didn't pause. He was trailing kisses and small bites down Killua's throat now, smirking into pale skin whenever Killua let out a small gasp or whimper. "Don't wanna."  
  
“ _Ow_.”  Killua's nails dug into Gon's shoulder blades after a particularly sharp nip of Gon's teeth. "Careful, idiot!"

"Why?" Gon finally lifted his head and Killua's breath lodged in his throat as he was once again at the mercy of that golden gaze.  
  
"I told you I wasn't gonna hold back," Gon said softly. His eyes were strangely intense. It was a look Killua had seen many times before, in both his dreams and reality. This was the first time he thought he knew what it meant.

Gon continued, “I know that didn't hurt you. You're a lot tougher than you act, Killua."  
  
Killua glared at him, his hands still holding fistfuls of Gon’s shirt. "Shut up. That doesn't mean I want to look like an octopus attacked me, either."  
  
Gon laughed quietly, his breath tickling Killua's face. "Okay. I'll try to be more careful..."  
  
He was moving in again, and Killua leaned back until his head rested against the wall.  
  
"Why don't I believe you?" he asked, eyes locked Gon's parted lips.  
  
Those lips spread in a broad grin. "Because you shouldn't," Gon said smoothly and closed the distance between them again.  
  
And just like before, Killua melted into Gon's touch.

 

**-o0o-**

 

An hour or two later, he and Gon were _still_ kissing.  
  
Killua was now laying on the mattress Canary and Amane had provided for them, his arms bare after Gon had forcibly tugged his own jacket off Killua's back. His hands had been warm on Killua's skin as he ran his fingers up and down Killua's arms. Killua hadn't even noticed the coldness of the night, not with Gon there to keep his blood racing.  
  
Gon's hands felt good running through the soft locks of Killua's silver hair, too. He didn't know why Gon was so obsessed with his hair, but the Hunter hadn't stopped touching it since they started making out. He had wanted to touch Killua's hair back during their sparring session a day or two ago, too—but that felt like years ago, now.  
  
It was amazing what a difference a single day could make.  
  
Killua turned his head away from Gon's insistent mouth, face scrunching up. "You taste like Chinese food," he whined.  
  
Gon looked down at him with a puzzled expression and tilt of his head. "So? You do too—that _is_ what we got for dinner, Killua—"  
  
"You taste like _spicy_ Chinese food," Killua interrupted.  
  
Gon raised both eyebrows. "You don't like spicy food?"  
  
"I'm more of a sweets guy, in case you hadn't noticed."  
  
"Huh. Okay."  
  
Gon leaned down to kiss him again and Killua made a startled noise of exclamation against his lips.  
  
"G-Gon!" He half-heartedly pushed Gon away, ignoring Gon's whine of disappointment. "What did I just say!"  
  
"That you don't like spicy food! But I don't get what that had to do with me."  
  
"Why the hell would I want to kiss you if you taste like spice?!"  
  
"Cause you like kissing me?" Gon said, sounding confused.  
  
Killua struggled to come up with a good response. Gon was right, of course, but he hadn't expected for Gon to know that!  
  
"You're such an ass," he finally said and hooked his arms around Gon's neck to smash their lips together again. Gon laughed into his mouth and Killua inwardly rolled his eyes. Stupid Gon and his stupidly kissable face.  
  
Their kissing had become less desperate and rough as time had passed. Gon still kissed Killua with a searing _want_ , his hands holding tightly onto Killua as if he would disappear any second. His kisses left Killua breathless and his face tingling. But now, their lips moved together slowly, carefully. Their teeth rarely clacked anymore and now Killua felt like he was floating in a heated haze.  
  
He sighed through his nose as Gon's hands wandered along his waistband. Gon's calloused fingers felt nice on his hips, rubbing against his bone and tracing every dip and curve. He didn't fight Gon when the other dared to slide his palms under Killua's shirt and up his chest. Killua was surprised that Gon hadn't ripped his clothes off already, if he was being honest, but he was glad for it all the same. He didn't mind sex, but he just didn't feel the need for it right now.  
  
He was thoroughly enjoying kissing Gon, and the small teasing touches that came with it. Anything more passionate could wait.  
  
Gon freed Killua's lips to drag his mouth down to Killua's collarbone. There were already a good number of tiny red marks and light scratches decorating Killua's skin, and the hickeys ached in all the right ways. It should be frustrating how easily Gon found Killua's weak spots, but Killua couldn't bring himself to mind too much. Not when Gon was making him feel this blissed out in the process.    
  
The Hunter's teeth grazed across Killua's sensitive skin before finding the crook between Killua's neck and shoulder. He bit down without warning and Killua involuntarily let out a choked cry.  
  
"Do you like that, Killua?" Gon murmured, sounding far too thrilled at Killua's whine.  
  
Killua scrunched up his nose, refusing to answer the question. Not when Gon clearly knew the answer. So he simply tugged on Gon's spikes—earning a nice hiss from the other man in kind—and said, "Don't leave too many marks, idiot. I meant what I said earlier about the octopus thing."  
  
"Hm."  
  
Killua wasn't sure Gon had properly heard him. But he himself was distracted by a hot tongue gliding over the new bite, the sensation feeling _very_ good despite the slight sting that came with it.  
  
"You're really pretty. You know, Killua?" Gon's voice came out muffled as he spoke against Killua's shoulder. He glanced up at Killua's red face, then grinned, apparently satisfied with Killua's flustered reaction.  
  
"I—I am not _pretty,"_ Killua retorted weakly. "You're just stupid." He lifted his hands to push back the few stray locks that had fallen into Gon's face. He liked the way Gon looked at him, as if Killua was the only person who mattered in the entire world. And he didn't want Gon's hair getting in the way of that gaze, even if it did make him look sort of cute.  
  
Gon's responding tone was happy, "That's okay! I don't mind being stupid if I can be with someone as amazing as you."  
  
Killua flushed darker. He would never get used to Gon blurting out stuff like that...  
  
"You don't believe me."  
  
Killua looked back at Gon, only to see the other studying him with a thoughtful gleam in his eyes. That hadn't been a question, and the insight with which the statement had been made startled Killua.  
  
"I—I, uh—"  
  
"Why don't you believe me? It's true. And I know I've told you before. I think you're really, _really_ ama—"  
  
"Sh-Shut up!" Killua sputtered out as panic crawled up his throat and he crushed his lips to Gon's again to do exactly that.  
  
Gon's mouth vibrated against Killua's as Gon laughed into the kiss. It was obvious that he knew Killua's intention, but he parted his lips to kiss Killua back all the same. His hands were still gliding over Killua's chest, mapping out the muscles there, and Killua shuddered. He couldn't help his reactions; his body responded to Gon before his brain could catch up.  
  
"Killua—" Gon mumbled between kisses. His hands squeezed Killua's waist, causing Killua to gasp quietly. _"Killua_ —this, this is okay. Right? You want this too, right?"  
  
"Wh-What?" He was too distracted to focus on what Gon was saying, being much more interested in how Gon _tasted_. Even with the spice, Gon still tasted better than anyone Killua had ever made out with before. "What're you saying? I _asked_ you to kiss me!"  
  
"I know! But—"  
  
Gon pulled away completely and Killua let out a disappointed moan. He hadn't wanted Gon to stop, dammit!  
  
"I mean," Gon panted as he hovered over Killua, his palms pressed to the mattress on either side of Killua's messed silver hair.  "I didn't force myself on you, right?"  
  
Killua's head was spinning from both a lack of air and confusion. "Why would you ever think that?"  
  
"Because, I didn't ask you—"  
  
Killua groaned, letting his head land back on the mattress with a _thud_. "Gon, we talked about this!"  
  
"Not really! You never said that this was okay, that I wasn't stepping over the line—"  
  
"You _were_ stepping over the line," Killua said and Gon's jaw dropped, eyes flying open wide. "Don't look at me like that, you already know you should have asked me if I was okay with kissing you before all this! But..."  
  
He licked his lips. They were swollen from use. "...but it's okay. You didn't. Um. You didn't do anything I wouldn't want to you to do. Alright? So stop moping about it, it's not that big of a deal."  
  
Gon had lit up the moment Killua said it was okay. He didn't know if Gon had even heard anything else, the other man was beaming so brightly it was hard to look at him directly.  
  
"Okay!" he chirped and pecked Killua's cheek. "Thank you, Killua."  
  
"Idiot." Killua shook his head. It was flattering in a way, how much Gon cared about his comforts and opinions.  
  
"Does that mean...?"  
  
Killua blinked to refocus on Gon's blushing, hesitant face. What was he thinking about _now?_ _  
_  
"Does that mean...?" Killua parroted back.  
  
Gon gulped. "D-Does that mean, we're a...um..."  
  
_Oh._ _  
_  
Killua felt himself flush. He was rendered speechless for a good few seconds—because, uh, _what?_ _  
_  
He wanted to kiss Gon. That was undeniable now and probably had been for a long time. He enjoyed Gon's mouth and tongue and hands roaming across his skin and burying in his hair—Killua enjoyed the _physical touches,_ without a doubt. But...  
  
Did he want a relationship? With _Gon_ of all people? The Hunter who Killua had demanded leave him and Alluka alone for all eternity once this job was complete? A relationship like that would be a complete and total disaster, and put Alluka at greater risk than ever before.  
  
Gon was still staring at him with wide, uncertain eyes. He wasn't going to take the initiative on this one, Killua could tell. He wanted Killua to tell him what he wanted. But Killua didn't know _what_ he wanted from Gon exactly, besides maybe the physical pleasures they'd been indulging in for the past few hours.  
  
And what did Gon want in all this? Did he really want to be with Killua, in every aspect?  
  
"Killua?" Gon asked timidly. He was still hovering over Killua, the fairy lights from above illuminating his hair and the stars dusting the sky around his head. He looked ethereal, somehow, and the thought made Killua's heart twist sharply.  
  
"...I don't know," Killua said finally, honestly. He sounded unnaturally quiet; he sounded small. "I don't know what I want, exactly."  
  
That seemed to be the right answer. Gon's anxious expression broke into a relieved smile.  
  
"That's okay, Killua," he said and tucked a stray silver lock behind Killua's red-tipped ear. "We don't have to decide anything now, you know? I'm just happy I got to kiss you. And...I'd like to kiss you more, if that's okay with you."  
  
Killua stated up at him dumbly. His face was uncomfortably hot. "You mean, like, tonight?"  
  
Gon chuckled quietly. "Well, yeah, but I meant in the _future."_ _  
_  
"O-Oh."

 _'I'm blushing,'_ Killua realized. Killua was blushing heavily and his stomach was a mess of knots. Gon wanted to kiss him some more. Gon wanted _him._  
  
And Killua couldn't deny the rush of joy that spread through him at the confession.  
  
"So?" Gon asked with a slight smile.  
  
Killua let out a short breath, his bangs flopping off his forehead. His heart was galloping. "S-So, that's okay with me. If we, um, keep doing the k-kissing bit."  
  
"And the hickey bit?" Gon asked, making Killua want to _die._

  
"And the hickey bit," Killua said through clenched teeth.  
  
"The biting bit?"  
  
Killua made an exasperated sound. "Isn't that the same thing?"  
  
"No, not really! Hickeys you gotta suck, but _biting_ is—"  
  
"You don't need to explain it!" Killua said shrilly. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe evenly despite the inner shrieking of his brain. "It's—It's fine, _okay,_ whatever you want to do physically...is _fine."_

  
Gon's eyebrows shot up. "Anything, physically?"  
  
"Y-Yeah."  
  
"So, like..."  
  
Killua's face was on fire now. He easily understood Gon's implication. _"Yes_ , Gon. Do I need to spell it out for you?"  
  
Gon grinned, the widest and most thrilled smile Killua had seen from the Hunter yet. He looked positively gleeful. "Nope! I'm good with anything you want, Killua."  
  
"Okay. Great. I mean, uh." Killua slowly exhaled while Gon continued to smirk down at him, amusement glittering in his gold eyes. "That's, that's good. I'm glad we're on the same page."  
  
"Mhm," Gon hummed cheerfully. "And, just so you know, Killua..."  
  
He leaned down. Killua tensed, not knowing what Gon was planning and definitely not trusting that sly expression on his freckled face—  
  
Gon's mouth brushed the shell of Killua's ear. Killua shivered helplessly as Gon whispered, "If you ever want anything _more,_ just let me know."  
  
He pushed away again, leaving behind a stunned and heavily flushed Killua. He winked and Killua scowled through his blush.  
  
Stupid, idiotic Gon. Killua still hated how much of an effect Gon had on him.  
  
"Let's take it one step at a time, Freecss. You're lucky I'm even letting you do anything at all."  
  
Gon laughed, looking unperturbed. "I know! I was really surprised when you kissed me back!" His pleased grin changed into one of thoughtfulness. "I thought you didn't like me at all..."  
  
One of Gon's hands had moved, his fingers lightly tracing the features of Killua's face with slow, unhurried movements. His index finger drifted over Killua's high cheekbones, then across his forehead and down his pointed nose.  
  
"I surprised myself," Killua admitted as steadily as he could with Gon stroking his face. His skin was warm and tingling wherever Gon touched him. There was a strange feeling swelling in his chest and traveling to his throat, making it hard to breathe.  
  
Gon made a thoughtful humming sound. "What changed?"  
  
"You kissed me."  
  
Gon snickered at that. "That was all it took? Are my kisses that good?"  
  
"Don't get cocky, dumbass." Killua punched his shoulder lightly and Gon's laughter grew louder. "I never said I liked you, anyway."  
  
Gon's eyes were twinkling. "Yeah, but you basically just admitted you liked _kissing_ me, so..."  
  
His fingers clasped Killua's chin, his thumb brushing Killua's bottom lip. Killua's heart raced as he stared up at Gon with baited breath.  
  
"I must be doing _something_ right," Gon murmured before claiming Killua's mouth once more.  
  
Killua let his eyes flutter shut, his jaw slacking and lips automatically moving to respond to Gon's kiss. Blood roared in his ears, the sound drowning out the faint chirping of crickets and traffic moving about in the distance. Gon's tongue was in his mouth and his hands were on Killua's neck. Gon kissed Killua like it was all he had ever wanted his entire life, and Killua thrived off the intensity of it all.  
  
He welcomed the distraction Gon provided. If he was focusing on Gon, he didn't have to think about Kite or Alluka or his family, or whatever hell-like consequences he would soon be facing for getting involved with Gon. For a fleeting moment Killua could forget all that and drown in the pleasure of Gon's body—  
  
He squeaked, eyes flying open as he was suddenly flipped. His world spun and when it righted itself, he was leaning on Gon's chest with Gon under him. Gon had a smug grin on his face as he looked up at Killua and Killua glared back.  
  
"Warm me next time you do that," he grumbled, shifting so he could brace his legs on either side of Gon's hips. The subtle change in position made Killua aware of the slight bulge in Gon's front—but he was _not_ going to think about that right now, nope.  
  
Broad hands grasped his ass and Killua sucked in a sharp breath. His eyes flickered down to Gon's, his face growing increasingly warm, and Gon raised an eyebrow.  
  
"This okay?" he asked and gently squeezed Killua's rear.  
  
Killua scrunched up his nose at the feeling. It had been a long time since anyone touched him like that. And the hot twist in his gut was quick to inform him that _yes,_ that was so much more than okay.  
  
"Y-Yeah," Killua said as his hands curled into Gon's shirt. "It's fine. I told you anything physical, right?"  
  
Gon grinned. "I know. I just wanted to make sure."  
  
He went back to kneading Killua's ass, a concentrated expression on his face. He looked more flustered than Killua could remember, with scarlet freckled cheeks and glazed golden eyes. Killua couldn't stop himself from curling his hands around Gon's shoulders and kissing him roughly.  
  
It was so, _so_ good. Gon's hands on his backside only stoked the slow-burning fire inside him, and Killua's heart skipped a beat as Gon groaned quietly against his lips. He wanted to hear lots of sounds from Gon's lips, every kind of sound Gon could possibly make.  
  
Gon tightened his grip suddenly and Killua whined into Gon's mouth. Gon smirked into the kiss, his lips moving in more aggressive, short movements. Desire painted Killua's skin in shades of red and his breaths were shallow between open-mouthed kisses.  
  
It was a heated dance between the two of them. The kind that smoothed the tension out from Killua's shoulders and made him melt into the curves of Gon's body. For a few short hours, he could just be Killua and Gon could be Gon.  
  
Once the sun rose and the morning sky turned blue—only then would Killua force himself to face the world again. But for tonight, he had Gon.

  
**-o0o-**

  
When Killua woke again, the sound of chirping crickets had been replaced with birds' twittering.  
  
Killua blinked his bleary eyes open as he slowly started to awaken. He was sprawled out on the mattress in Amane and Canary's rooftop garden, the blanket a tousled mess across his hips and one leg. There was something heavy nuzzled into his shoulder and the smell of pine tickled his nose.  
  
Killua froze, eyes flying open as he recognized the spiked tips of Gon's dark hair. The Hunter's head was shoved into the crook of Killua's neck and his arms were wound tightly around Killua's waist. He was so close that Killua could feel Gon's breath across the base of his throat.  
  
For a few seconds, Killua was too shocked to move. Last night came back to him in bits and pieces, in the spicy taste of Gon's lips and the calloused warmth of his hands. Fresh bruises and bites ached and stung across Killua's neck and shoulders, but—to Killua's relief—they ended there. Neither he nor Gon were fully naked and Killua leaned back into the mattress with a long sigh.  
  
They hadn't gone further last night. Their clothes had remained on despite the haze of lust that has swept over them like a monsoon. But they _had_ slept together, in the innocent sense of the word.  
  
Killua's gaze wandered over Gon. He could spot a few long scratches on Gon's back too—Killua's own version of marking his partner. Gon's hair was a mess from Killua's fists and clawed hands. But he slept peacefully despite the red lines etched into his bronze skin, clinging to Killua like there was no where else in the world he would rather be.  
  
Killua swallowed thickly. He had no idea how he was gonna explain this to Alluka. This was never meant to happen; he himself didn't know how he had so quickly submitted to Gon. But there was no denying it had happened.  
  
_'And I wouldn't mind it happening again,'_ Killua admitted privately to himself as his eyes landed on Gon's slightly parted lips. He had more fun with Gon last night than any of his previous lovers, and he hadn't even gone that far with Gon.  
  
Hesitantly, Killua raised his hand. He carded his fingers through Gon's hair. His heart was flipping in his chest at the innocent touch. Gon's spikes were softer than he remembered.  
  
A quiet sigh escaped Gon's lips and Killua stiffened. He managed to snatch his hand back just as Gon started to wake.  
  
"Mmm..." Gon rubbed at his closed eyes with one hand and lifted his head. He stared blankly at Killua's face for a few seconds before recognition filtered into his gaze. Instantly, his expression lit up.  
  
"Killua!" he said, sounding genuinely thrilled. "Good morning!"  
  
He lurched forward before Killua could do much more than blink, planting a firm kiss on Killua's mouth.  
  
Killua felt himself turn pink. "Wh-What was that for?!"  
  
Gon grinned, eyes twinkling in the morning light. "It's a good morning kiss, Killua. Good morning!"  
  
"You already said that, stupid—" Killua shoved Gon off him and Gon rolled over onto the mattress with a burst of laughter. He didn't seem to mind Killua's attitude; he just sat right back up and beamed. It really should have annoyed Killua how cheerful Gon was in the morning. But all he felt was a small fluttering deep inside his chest.  
  
"Are you always like this in the morning?" Killua asked.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
_"Awake."_  
  
Gon snorted. Instead of answering he just scooted closer, moving closer and closer until he was pressed right up against Killua's side. Killua glared at him, refusing to back down or lean away in case Gon got any ideas that he was intimidated or something stupid like that.  
  
"I am if I have someone beautiful to wake up next to," Gon said slyly.  
  
Killua bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from making any kind of embarrassing sound. He didn't need to egg Gon on any more than he already did. Gon seemed to understand that though with the way his smile widened and Killua decided that was _enough—_  
  
He wanted to make Gon the flustered one, for once.  
  
Killua grabbed Gon's cheeks with both hands and yanked him forward. Their mouths crashed roughly in the middle and Gon made a muffled sound of surprise. But by then Killua was already parting his lips and kissing Gon with all the intent and drive of _shutting him up._

  
When Killua pushed Gon away again, Gon looked even more of a mess than he had upon first waking up. His spikes stuck out in all directions, his cheeks stained with a brilliant red blush, and his chest heaved. When he opened his golden eyes, they were heavy-lidded and glazed.  
  
He looked like he'd just been kissed senseless, and Killua's chest swelled in pride. Served Gon right for always teasing him.  
  
"I'm guessing you're still okay with our agreement then?" Gon asked, his gaze still dazed as he stared at Killua with poorly-concealed longing.  
  
"...yeah. I guess so." It wasn't like Killua could really deny it at this point. And to his surprise, he didn't want to; he really did enjoy kissing Gon.  
  
Gon hummed happily, like Killua had just confirmed his deepest wish. "Good. I am too."  
  
He got off the mattress to stand on shaky legs and stretched up towards the blue sky with a yawn. Killua was rewarded with the sight of a gorgeously sculpted chest as Gon pulled his arms over his head and Killua tried in vain not to stare. Gon had stripped his shirt off when they'd both gotten too exhausted to make out, claiming it was more comfortable to sleep without it, and now Killua was forced to see Gon as he really was: hot. Too hot, almost. It made Killua's heart thump a little bit faster just looking at him. How the hell wasn't Gon already with someone?  
  
"You know, I'm kind of surprised you didn't try taking my clothes off last night," Killua said casually as he pushed himself up on his elbows. The mere mention of undressing made him turn a deep shade of pink, but Gon was already half naked without an ounce of shame. It didn't seem to bother _him._  
  
Gon paused, then threw a bright smile in Killua's direction. "Well, I didn't think it was really necessary! I was just happy I got to kiss you. We can try that another time, if you really want."  
  
Killua scowled through his blush. "You sure sound confident about there being another time, Freecss."  
  
Gon shrugged, but Killua didn't miss the mischievous glimmer in his gold eyes. "It's not that! I just...don't think last night will be our _last_ time like that together, if you know what I mean. I don't want it to be, at least. And I think you feel the same."  
  
Killua sputtered at that. Another wave of heat washed over him, twisting his stomach into tight knots. "Y-You can't just assume something like that, idiot!"  
  
"I'm not assuming anything!" Gon said loudly. He found his shirt and started to pull it on, voice coming out muffled from behind the cotton, "I can just _tell._ Besides you were the one who asked me to kiss you. You wouldn't do something like that with just anyone, and you definitely wouldn't do it if you didn't want me to kiss you more than once."  
  
Killua wanted to be angry. He wanted to tell Gon he was wrong and laugh because why would he ever want to be with Gon any more that he already had been for the last week—but he couldn't.  
  
Because Gon was right. Just like he always was when it came to Killua. Somehow, Gon knew him well enough to correctly guess something Killua would never in a million years admit aloud. How he did it though, Killua had no idea.  
  
"Don't press your luck," Killua grumbled finally and pointedly turned away. He heard Gon's low laugh though and knew he hadn't fooled Gon one bit. But then again, when had he ever?  
  
Gon had a way of seeing straight through him. It was infuriating.  
  
_Buzzzzzz! Buzz! Buzz!_  
  
They both jumped at the unexpected noise. Killua looked around for his phone, heart leaping into his mouth, because what if that was Alluka, what if something had _happened—_ _  
_  
"It's mine," Gon said loudly and Killua turned to see Gon holding up his phone, the screen flashing. The tension drained out of him and he sighed as Gon gave him a small smile.  
  
"Hi?" Gon said to the speaker. As Killua watched, Gon's expression turned puzzled. Then, all at once, his face turned white and his eyes grew large.  
  
The air in Killua's lungs vanished in an instant.  
  
"What?" Gon demanded and Killua rushed to throw the blanket off and scramble to his feet. "Why would you—okay, _okay,_ I get it. Are you all safe, at least?"  
  
"What happened?" Killua hissed. Blood roared in his ears as Gon frowned at him. "Is Alluka alright?!"  
  
Gon turned back to the phone. "Is Alluka okay?"  
  
The person on the other end of the line made an annoyed sound Killua could hear even without having the phone to his ear. Gon winced, pulling it back a little.  
  
"Sorry," Gon mumbled once the other person had stopped yelling. "I just wanted to make sure, that's all! Are you still there?"  
  
He paused, listening intently. Killua waited with baited breath and a rapidly beating heart.  
  
"Okay," Gon said finally. "Yeah, that's fine. We'll deal with it when we get there. Don't worry. I'll let you know when we arrive."  
  
He hung up and Killua didn't waste any time getting in his face.  
  
"What happened?" he growled.  
  
Gon rubbed the back of his head, lips twisting. "Well. It seems someone was trailing you, because some strangers showed up at the hideout."  
  
Gon's explanation did nothing to calm Killua. _"And?"_  
  
"And they're fine." Gon placed his hands on Killua's shoulders and squeezed. "They're all fine, Killua. Including Alluka. She recognized something was wrong before those people showed up and they all got out in time."  
  
Killua sagged. Thank god. He didn't know what he would've done if something happened to Alluka while he was away. Logically, he knew Alluka could take care of herself, but still...  
  
"And where are they now?" he asked, lifting his head to look at Gon again.  
  
Gon smiled, but it wasn't his usual radiant grin. This smile was tight, uneasy. "Well. Um. That's the thing."  
  
Killua's blood spiked again. _"What_ thing?"  
  
"They're..." Gon took a deep breath. "They're in Hunter's Headquarters. Back in blank."  
  
Shock jolted through Killua. "Wh-What? You have something like that?"  
  
Gon nodded. "It was the safest place my friends could think to go. No one knows about it but Hunters."  
  
"Will it be a problem that Alluka and I are there, then?"  
  
"No!" Gon's brow puckered. "I don't think so, at least."  
  
Killua grit his teeth. _"Gon—"_  
  
"It'll be okay, Killua!" He squeezed Killua's shoulders again, and the determined look in his eyes blazed so strongly that Killua almost believed him. "Trust me! We're gonna talk to the top guys and they'll understand."  
  
"And if they don't?" Killua asked, stress easing its way to every part of his body.  
  
"They will. I won't let you down."  
  
Gon stared at him, not blinking or wavering, his fingers digging into Killua so tightly it almost hurt. It was like he was trying to _will_ Killua into understanding—and believing—and Killua...  
  
Killua had decided to trust Gon. So he would.  
  
"Okay," Killua said after a pause and Gon's beam returned in full. "Fine. I'll trust you. But we have to get back now."  
  
"Absolutely!" Gon was already rushing around their space on the garden rooftop, grabbing their backpacks and scattered clothes. He tossed Killua's hat and his own jacket in Killua's direction and Killua yelped, almost dropping them both in his surprise. He struggled to put them on as Gon finished gathering up the last of their things.  
  
"Okay—ready?"  
  
Gon held out his hand to Killua, that fire still gleaming in his eyes. Killua looked down at Gon's hand, then back up at Gon's face.  
  
_'I trust you,'_ he thought and slid his hand into Gon's.  
  
"Let's go," he said aloud and Gon grinned. He dragged Killua off through the garden and towards the door, and Killua followed without hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12/26/2018
> 
> A year later and I'm still writing this fic lol
> 
> But, yay, they finally kissed! :D And made out! And Gon got to touch Killua's butt! Hahahhaa. This chapter was a blast to write, definitely my favorite so far. I have a lot of fun writing kisses and I've had this whole scene in my head since I started this project. Thank you to everyone and anyone still reading this thing after a year, and any new readers. The story's not over yet, but at least Gon and Killua can have some more fun together now :3 Happy holidays!
> 
> [[my tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)   
>  [{my twitter}](https://twitter.com/decembercamie)


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